[Justgiving]

Today I was off from work and I hid in my small backyard and cried.

I don't know how to be rude. I don't know how to defend myself.

[DOWNINNATICK]

I'm like you, I let people push me and be little me. My counsellor says it will take time and baby steps, but we can retrain ourselfs to be a little more out going. Keep the faith and things will get better!

Good luck.

[Justgiving]

Thank you ((((((((((DOWNINNATICK))))))))))))))

I'm simply pathetic

[pachyderm]

Growing takes time.

[JimWriter]

My self-esteem used to be in the gutter a long time ago. I still occasionally struggle with poor self-esteem, but I'm better at getting assertive.
In time, you will too. It takes time and practice.

[Justgiving]

Thank you.

I appreciate your replies.

[nowheretorun]

its ok to not know how to be rude justgiving, no one really wants a rude person around much anyway...

defending yourself is another matter... it can be learned in many ways... if you can afford the classes take some self defense martial arts training... several varieties are available... the focus of these classes is on self defense so you arent training yourself to attack and are coached in the ways of remaining calm in the face of confrontation....

inner strength is something that grows in time, with experience... at first it is awkward and uncomfortable but never give up the belief in your self value and as best as you are able, never let others remove your sense of self worth... you are a work in process and whether or not you can see what is to come, a beautiful you is waiting to grow...

best wishes to you always

[Justgiving]

Thank you ((((((nowheretorun))))))))). I appreciate your reply.

I have been hurt so often that I don't want nobody to feel this hurt. So for me defending myself is to hurt others. I have a hard time making the difference.

(((((((((((((((((((Justgiving)))))))))))))))))))

In no way shape or form are you pathetic sweetie. You are a very caring, beautiful person who has been hurt and are still recoiling from it. It does take time, you are a wonderful human being who has every right to live your life happily, without judgement and without being walked all over by others .... please dont say you are pathetic, you're such a gentle soul and always there for others .... i love you, it's hard sometimes to show our own feelings if we are hurt, like you say .... i am very guilty of going off the rails that way, MY issues seem to flood out of my mouth if I am angry or triggered, i dont stop to think of others feelings, but it's not something i do on purpose, so i know where you are coming from ... you are a better person than I for thinking the way you do ..... i wish i was more like you ...... but you still have to talk and get your hurt out hon .... here always for you, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Justgiving]

((((((((((((((((((Jinnyann)))))))))))))))) Thank you!


................................Just thinking out loud.....................................................

We all have different background and different baggages to carry that's why we don't react the same way in a situation. What can hurt a person doesn't hurt the other and virce versa.

I don't think that nobody is better then another. Sometime I don't like something in a person but it doesn't mean I don't see this person's qualities.

Sometime I will back away from someone because I don't feel confortable with this person but it doesn't mean I don't see the goodness in this person.

............................................................................................................................

I have problems in my real life with this man and I am so much scare of him in more then one way. ( Not my husband)

Thank you for reading.

if you need to talk about it i am here ... pm me anytime .... I am going to be away for a week starting Friday ..... take care, here until then, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Justgiving]

Thank you (((((((((Jinnyann)))))))))))))) You are very sweet.

[nightbird]

Can you talk to someone about the man you are afraid of?

I feel you might benefit from getting this out.

Also, I didn't open my mouth when people were offensive to me for years.... because I didn't want to sound like them or have anyone feel what I was capable of lashing out or either feel the way they made me feel.

Those days are gone. If I must defend myself, I consider it a responsibility to myself, my reputation, and ultimately my self-esteem.

I found my voice in this department. Sometimes I use humor, but mostly I tell people right at the beginning that what is going on doesn't feel right to me, by my own values ... do what they want, I don't want to control others .... but don't do something to me I would not do to you or anyone.

Keep telling yourself the golden rule, what do to others what we wish done to us - till you believe it. After awhile, when someone crosses a line with you, you can gently or firmly tell them to step back ... whatever it is ... you'll be fine.

I am concerned about this man though. Can you be ore specific?

love,
night

[Justgiving]

Hi Nightbird and thank you for replying to me.

This man is about 50 years old and quite physically big compare to me as I am small. He is around me a lot. I work with him. He lies a lot and he is good at it. He touches me often (Physically) going over my boundaries. I don`t mind a pad on the shoulder but he does much much more then that.

What I`m scare off is that he can`t do too much in public but there is not always someone around and there is places where I work where I am alone with him and I could be trapped without nobody noticing it.

He is the kind of person that could get away with anything. A sweet talker, a lier, a controller, a leader, a person that could crush someone down with a smile on his face. The kind of person that cares only for himself and his self being.

I am working on this though.

Again thank you so much.

[nightbird]

Good, because that is sexual harassment at the workplace, and a big lawsuit to the company you work for if you report it and he isn't retrained or removed from your sight.

A friend of mine received $3 million in a settlement for sexual harassment and he never laid a finger on her, just said words!

Speak to an attorney!

Love,
Night


(how dare that man be so forward towards you!!! hope you do something)