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#1
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i dont know why im writting this or even what i expect by writting it but im just really upset and my heart hurts so bad, i found out today that my best friend tryed to kill herself tue, and it hurts so bad shes so sweet and she hurts so much i just want to take her pain away, i feel like i could have done something, like tue when i saw her last and she flipped out and her and her mom where fighting i should have stayed and done something, but no i left cause thats what her mom wanted, i was stupid, i never should have left. why did i leave. i thought she would be okay or get a hold of me somehow if she needed me, i shouldnt have left how could she get a hold of me she has no phone, stupid idiot, %#@&#! it i never shoulda left. now shes in lock down and i cant see her for a while at least 10 days unless they make her stay longer, this is all my fault, i failed her, like i failed everyone eles. i hate death death is a vindictive heartless cold blooded creature. HATE IT!
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#2
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(brokengirl)
it is not your fault that you left and this horrible act happened. it really is to do with her depression and nothing you did changed anything. don't let this action lie to you. it is strictly between your friend and her death wishes and not you. she is in the best place we have these days to protect her from herself. when she gets out, and you see her again, you can make a contract with her on how and when to reach you or professional people should she hit this stress level again. you did nothing wrong. it was waiting to happen, most likely. sometimes, to effecg a parent, it can happen after an argument. please be confidant that you did nothing to bring it on by leaving a volatile situation, as most of us would have left family disagreements to go on without us. most don't end up like this one did. i'm sorry for both your friend, and her family, and you, to have to experience this darker side of hopelessness and severe depressed feelings. Take a few days, and get past this. move forward with your own life, and if you need to, you can talk to crisis counsellors to help you sort this out. you have your whole life ahead of you - to live it fully, so think about yourself while your friend is in protective care, and seriously think about how you can feel better about your own life ... it is contagious to many, at times ... if this helps. peace and comfort, nightbird xoxo
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I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
#3
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You are not to blame! You left thinking everything would be ok, most of us would have done the same thing. It was something that was going to happen at some point, and if you stayed your friend would have just done it later. Your friend is where she/he needs to be, now you have to take care of yourself and DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
Take care and I wish you joy.
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Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel Cindy ![]() |
#4
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Brokengirl, I agree with everyone else, it is not your fault. It could have happened at anytime. Just be as supportive as you can with her. She needs you. ...........pj56.........xxoo
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#5
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Whatever you did in the past not knowing that this was going to happen, you can support her now as soon as you can communicate with her. Send her cards. She needs all the help she can get. Concentrate on what you can do for her now.
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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