All I seem to be doing lately is screw up.
I keep disappointing my family and friends and I don't know how to change.
Every time I think about my friends and how talented they are...I think about pathetic and useless I am and its killing me.
I try telling people but..I don't know they don't seem to believe me.
I hate myself..I really do.

Any advice?
-Melissa

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((Melissa)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Depression can make us believe so many things that are not true. You are not pathetic and useless. It is so hard to rely on the voices you hear from inside when depression hits. Hopefully soon you will be able to see what everyone else does and what a wonderful person you are.

BB

[silver_moon]

((((((melissa)))))) ... bipolarbear is right... you are not pathetic and you are not useless, depression can make us feel a lot of things that aren't true.
Take care,
Molly

I did it again.
I think this time I made my mother hate me...although I think I hate myself more.
I don't like who Ive become..some irresponsible, loser of a person.
That's not who I was...High School changed me and I hate it.

((melMel 15)))
take it easy on yourself if you can
High school is a hard time
alot of stress there
hope things get better
muffy

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by MelMel15

I did it again.
I think this time I made my mother hate me...although I think I hate myself more.
I don't like who Ive become..some irresponsible, loser of a person.
That's not who I was...High School changed me and I hate it.

I'm listening if you want to say more.....

Thank you everyone

I dont know what to do anymore..I want to be who I used to be but ive ruined everything to the point where I dont think I can go back..

I think teenagers nowadays have way too much pressure on them to be perfect and to do perfectly in every aspect of life..and seeing as I already have a negative reaction to pressure..this is becoming too much.
I feel like I need to be perfect...and now I cant accept any type of failure.

Ok I feel better....venting is great

[Sannah]

Hi Mel, no one can go back. You can only go forward. This is good that you are understanding what is affecting you (pressure to be perfect). Understanding yourself and how things affect you is very important for mental health. Why do you think that you have ruined everything?

I really love that saying..No moving back..only forward.
I'm going to remember that when the going gets tough.

I've ruined everything school wise..I keep not going to class and not doing school work.
I need to do great in school...I dont want to disappoint my parents.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by MelMel15

I feel like I need to be perfect...and now I cant accept any type of failure.

Is this ^ maybe why you don't want to try at school?

[kebsfroggy]

((( melmel15 ))) you are a super person with great potential. By using your friends and family to gain approval it is an up hill battle and you may not like it when you get to the top.

Do things that bring you a feeling of accomplishment and success. That is the most important thing. Once you become proficient in what you like to do your friends and family might actually find out who you are and like you for being you.



And remember above all else....you are not useless.

Thank you so much
I'm going to try to do that...focus on things I like to do.
You've all helped greatly!

[Sannah]

Mel, just wanted to make sure that you saw my last post since it was posted at the same time as the other last post and it is at the bottom of the other page.

Oh I went back and read it.

And yes I think thats exactly the reason.

Fear of failing is causing me to fail..how ironic..

[Sannah]

It makes perfect sense to me. Fear can be paralyzing....

How do I fix it?
I dealing with this all by myself and I dont know how to fix it

[Sannah]

I have never "failed" in my life. I have only come up against obstacles and I had to stop, look at it and figure out how I am going to get around it. In my mindset I don't have a term called failure.

(I failed a college Trigonometry course, failed a writing requirement, was looked at as a failure by many in my Master's program because I had some issues, my MIL was unhappy with me frequently, etc. I graduated from that college with an A average, I finally passed that writing requirement, I overcame my issues during my Master's degree and now my MIL finally sees me for who I really am and appreciated me immensely! I would not accept her vision of me and she finally saw who I was really)

My mom just like..broke my heart

Into a million pieces

I hate myself

[Sannah]

Mel, what happened?

[cantstopcrying]

You said something that brought tears to my eyes. You said you didn't want to disappoint your parents. While as a parent I can appreciate that you want to please yours, but is cutting class and not acheiving what you want to do, really? If not, than you are disappointing yourself, and that's important. Maybe this isn't coming across right, and it's great that you want to try hard for your parents, but you are a person too (really, teenagers are people, with real feelings and ideas! ). Parents can get quite emotional because we have such high hopes for our kids for a number of reasons--to be better than we were, to know the joy of a happy life, etc. The only time it's too late to try again, to start over, to keep moving forward, is when we are no longer here. Until that time, you can always, in some way, go forward and make positive changes. Why are you cutting classes, what's driving you to do things like that that you know aren't right? Those should be examined to find out why, that might help. Hold on, you'll get through the rough times.

She purposely stood in front of my door and ranted about how I should drop out of school to my brother..
She doesn't even know whats wrong with me yet shes judging me.

god it hurts so bad.


Thank you canstopcrying
I just want someone to know how much pain im in...I really cant do this alone anymore

[Sannah]

I'm sorry that happened Mel! Maybe she is just frustrated and she doesn't know what to do? Maybe she thinks that you are just being difficult because she doesn't understand what is going on with you? Have you ever told her what is going on with you?

Ive never told her anything..Im too afraid to. She wouldnt understand anyway..and especially after this happened..I dont think I can ever tell her anything.

Im a smart person but im in pain...horrible pain and she just cant see that.

[Sannah]

Mel, why are you afraid to tell your mom? Why don't you think she would understand?

[cantstopcrying]

Don't forget, too, that, like teenagers, mom's (and dad's) are real people too. I know we are supposed to be the strong ones, the ones with all the answers, but like mentioned by Sannah, possibly she's frustrated and definately she's worried about you. Sigh. It's so hard and I hate that you're hurting. If you and your mom can't talk right now, can you possibly sit down and write your feelings, thoughts, problems, wishes, needs to her, then leave it for her to read when you aren't around, so she can't confront you without having time to process it?