Like a baby---Rocking back and forth

If I don't keep rocking myself, I fall apart. Depression is like being condemed to a life of inner silent pain. Keep crying like a baby, a little helpless child without a voice. Only the constant flow of tears.

This rush of despair that fighting it is out of reach. I am completely drained of any sense in my mind what-so-ever.

I simply rock back and forth. I have to move, need to move. Pounding of this undescibable pain. It shoots through my face, my jaw, my head---I am going to lose it.

So how the hell do these medical professionals expect someone to stay sane with this? "There is nothing we can do". Well screw that. This is wrong. How can someone be expected to endure this constant pain when they know what's wrong and can be fixed??? I don't have the money to fix this. I am desperately trying to gather enough money to move right now. I can't take my bf anymore....long story....

So I guess I will keep rocking back and forth, allowing my tears to continue to make my body feel so fatigued that it only prays for the end. I don't know where to go and deal with this. Everyone is gone on holidays right now. I feel like a bomb..... just waiting for the clock to slow down...stop ticking.....BANG!!! And there she goes...............

Justy

Justy , i know how you feel. Only i am in a trance it seems.i just feel numb inside, and no words to explain it. i cant stand to be alone yet I cant talk either and being around others doesnt help. and i dont know why i am feeling this way.alls I know is that i cry alot and hurt inside too. ((((((JUSTY)))))))) Here are some hugs to hope that you will be ok , take care sweetie.

Tryin

Oh Justy, I'm really sorry about how you are feeling. I wish I could make you feel better somehow...

Tryin, would you consider going back to your therapist? Last time I went numb like that, it was because I couldn't cope with the strength of my emotions anymore. I don't know if there is a similar reason for you. Maybe talking with your T again about your feelings would help you some? I know you may not want to hear this, but I'm concerned about you Beth, and I want you to feel happy...

You told me not long ago that I shouldn't isolate myself from you and this community since it would just make my depression worse. Well, if you don't mind, I'll ask you to take your own advice...

Sorry if this hurts you in any way, but I'm trying to help...

~ Silver.

Ohhh my dear girl. (((((((((Tryin)))))))), please take silver's advice. I am not one for lecturing right now but I beg u to go seek some help. Don't slip away on us, we care for you deeply. I love so much about u. Your a joy to talk to, special in many ways. Can I help in anyway?? Thinking of u sweetie, please hang in there.

Just by being here Silver, you make it better. I appreciate all of you very much. You are my friends and I am thankful and lucky to have u. Thanks (((((((Silver)))))))).

Justy

((((((((((((((All who are suffering)))))))))))))))))))