is depression interesting?

Depression is indeed interesting, even fascinating, from the outside. From the inside, it kills the ideas of interest and fascination. By the way, it should be explained that clinical depression has the ability to make concepts such as "understanding one's nature", "being a better person" and development or growth in general simply unthinkable, out of the realm of being.

I want to say this to all those affected by depression who hear positive views of depression and so they have to feel even more guilty as they are wasting a chance for growth! It seems to be sadly true that we depressives can only share feelings among ourselves.

If you've heard some positive views on depression, I'd like to hear them.....

I hope my post on your other thread did not upset you...
My dad suffered all my life with depression. My son almost all of his life.
My sister almost all of her life... I have had a few moments of my own.
I always try to see hope if i can. THat is just me thou...
It annoys my son at times...
Please never feel guilty.....
sorry if my answer in any way upset you
muffy

And that may be its most profound gift stefano...compassion.

We are not born with compassion,,nor mercy.

Suffering brings the heart closer to the mind and thus when another suffers with your ailment or not...you can empathise with their feelings and offer compassion.

The worst of all human toruture is of the solitary kind..we can survive far more with company than alone..

I am sorry you suffer...and know that it is sincere...

With care,

Lenny

This is really messing with me today, and a lot of recent days. I am not so sure someone can "fix" me, I have felt the way I do for as long as I can remember, I just didn't know what to call it when I was a kid. How can you be "ok" when you wake up and the first thing you think is how much you hate yourself, or you just had dreams all night about negative things that you can't blow off as dreams all the time, because some of it is just stuff that actually happened or are just too vivid. I wish someone can just fix me, but I am even having a hard time talking with someone professionally about this because I'm afraid about admitting how ****ed up I am to someone else. One of my main problems is people looking down on me/making fun of me throughout life, this is not an excuse, it just really makes it hard to trust anybody and I'm always told adults should have it together already or get over it, so mommy and daddy weren't nice...blah blah blah etc. Sometimes all that helps is knowing that others don't know the crap that runs through my mind all day.

But in all I'm not a functioning adult and that only worries me because people feel the need to point it out all the time. Every time I try to talk about things I like I have to hear about how odd/childish it is, or get asked why I have my job and am not trying to become a medical assistant or something "respectable". Why I don't own a house or a car, why I don't have credit cards. Why I am not married yet/have kids(are you serious? I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning sometimes!) I'd love to tell people "because mind your own business." but what always comes out is some excuse, like I have to freakin answer to them.

I think Stefano, I was trying to point out that I agree with you but I may have got a little confusing. I think sometimes if everyone else would shut the hell up and just let people live, we may not feel there was anything "wrong" with us at all. I wish the world would just let you be comfortable in your own skin, as I'm always told I should just be. But wish in one hand and you know the rest.

I have clinical depression, and feel that I unconsiously choose to stay that way at times...thats its a fantasy as good as my grandios fantasys..and for me if anyone even attempts to tell me anything positive during this times, I want to "attack" them because they are a threat to my "fantasy" and if I am forced to face something I'm not read for that is a scary place to be and the depression does a good job at keeping me internally safe...it says so many things to me and those around me, it says "Keep out",...its only through working through the past that I can see where I transformed my rage and feelings of disappointment into that dark place called depression...thats the only reason I feel at times no one understands me its because I'm afraid they well understand me and then what? I've got to face feelings?...as I say I am dx with major depression so I do have license to say this..

((Stefano))

I too suffer from clinical major depression and am in the midst of a major episode right now. It is yielding incredible growth for me despite the fact that am scaring the crap out of myself and probably my T and some family members because I have been so low. But, that doesn't mean that I can always grow through these times or that during those times when I am completely unable to even think, I am wrong, or bad or anything. It simply means that my biochemistry at that time is not allowing me to think.
The effects of my life as a child conspired with my genetic makeup to create this illness. I can work with it and learn from it but will try like hell not to beat myself up over it. Of course when "in it" my vision is often blurred. It is so hard to see any hope or light in those dark moments.

Mouse said:
That is EXACTLY where I was this week with my depression only I didn't make the connection to safety until I read your post here. I was in a safe place under a blanket where my inner child used to hide. Now, this is interesting to me, that depression can equal safety. And that's from the inside looking out.

No way muffy, it's all OK. I heard this statements elsewhere and it was one time too much. It's all right

There are different types of depression and there are different degrees of anxiety too.

I know there is no painting it with a broad brush ... and I hope I haven't given these serious issues less than the respect it deserves for being an illness.

I have it coming at me from before a serious illness, and after.

The causes and the effects on individuals aren't for the cookie cutter!!!

It's difficult to overcome, sure, impossible, no.

Peace and Comfort,
night

I think depression is interesting as all obstacles to happiness are interesting. Please do not confuse 'interesting' with 'enjoyable.'
I feel very lucky now that my illness is under contol with medication and therapy. I cannot avoid confronting my illness everyday nevertheless if I want to accomplish anything at all. And yes that makes it interesting.
I don't doubt that there exist some individuals who make their problems too interesting, too complicated and too important. I think that those types want glamour; if their problems are interesting and important, then transitively so are they as the bearers of bad news. I know a few people like this and have difficulty hiding my contempt from them because my sensibility is that such individuals are intensely manipulative. Such a person will try to show how insoluble their problems are and then try to vector their melancholy to others. Sometimes a woman will play the role of 'damsel in distress' when there is no problem at all, hoping to socialize this way and finding her 'prince charming.' But alas the world doesn't work like that and I pity the poor fool who lets such a woman screw him up.
I also know about people who think of their mental illness as some sort of a gift from god. Usually these folks are manic depressive and get to enjoy half of their illness. Their is even a web page hosted by such like-minded individuals. It is called the 'icarus project' like the greek myth. These persons believe that all genius borders on madness, that they are in fact gifted and not particularly ill. I feel sorry for them and their grandiosity. I guess this is some form of rationalization of the problem of mental illness when it is too powerful to be confronted head-on.
mille grazie, stephano. Thank you for raising this thread.
What still puzzles me is what to do with the ideas I am thinking about here and apply them to my therapy. And how can I wash away my sin of anger at some mentally ill people who don't know better but probably should?
ariverderla, pi

Yes, that is the point. One is hurting and others feel entitled to give him lessons. That is bad and can only be sustainde if it is recognized.

((((((((((((2bfree)))))))

I, too, am always told I'm odd and childish, why don't I have a house, why I don't have credit cards, and why I am not married and have no kids....I, too, consider myself quite lucky, just to be, functioning You might want to check out my thread at the top of the sharing ideas for self help forum, you might be able to relate..you have wished in your hand, my hand is holding yours and wishing the same, thing

i saw that irish movie. i also saw the czech version made with a different cast and a slightly different failed love story at the same time but using the same beautiful score.
thanks for reminding me, nightbird.
-pi

no doubt depression sucks stefano.. i hear your pain clearly... at one point in time my dx was a clinical depression so i am at times confused by your statements that there is no cure at times... but not being a pro i know there is a lot i dont understand... but i have to tell you, i have felt as hopeless as any here, attempted suicide a total of 3 times.... 35 years of darkness... there is hope for me... i wish the same for you...