[MontanaKimberly]

So why is it that I know I'm better off leaving him, but still hurt so much once it's done? My BF and father of my 7 month old son has decided that we would be better off roommates. I was the one going to leave, so why am I so hurt? I feel like I can't breathe. Like someone is ripping my heart out. Is it because he was the one to finally bring it up? Or was I sure that's what I wanted in the first place? Love Stinks!

[MontanaKimberly]

Maybe it's the fact that he is out every night until bar close. Or that he calls me "roommate" when he talks to girls on the phone... Does he have to do that in front of me? Maybe this won't work. Does anyone else have an Ex that is a current roommate? Did it work for you?

[MontanaKimberly]

Is it okay for me to go on dates now? Or will it upset him? Is it any of his business? Do I have to even tell him? It's been so long since I've been single, I don't know if I can do this... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Help!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) if ok.

[shakes]

You have to take things at your own pace. I can completely understand why hearing him call you his "roomate" is hurtful and perhaps he is saying it in front of you to hurt you.
When you feel ready of course you can start dating. Do not let him decide who you should and should not be with. I personally have to give you credit for being willing to live with a guy that you dated. I could not do it without being an emotional wreck. Have you thought of moving out? It could be very difficult to move on when you see this person all the time...Just a thought...
Unfortunately there is no blueprint of how things should go now. If he wants you to be his roomate then act like it. Do not give him the satisfaction of showing that you are upset. Especially if he is not being supportive.
I wish you the best and we are here for you.

Jessica

[wisewoman]

I agree with Jessica, get a life and show him you are an independent woman. Find mommy and me classes. Go to the children's room at the library. Are their childrens play groups? Physical fitness for mommy and baby? If you need to move. He wants his cake and to eat it too. Whatever you do do not continue close physical relations with him as it not only gives in to him but could be very dangerous for you. You can do this. You have the power to make a nice life for you and the baby.

[tclark1]

i lived with my ex and it is weird i started dating someone and he got really jelous and wanted me back i would say its probly better if yous were to live in different places i had to

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((kimberly))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

like the old saying "fake it till you make it", i agree with some of the others. go on, make your life work for you and your son. go thru those motions for now and pretty soon emotion will add to the motion. you will do good! i know you will.

like i said in the other post, try to be prepared for and allow yourself to grieve over this relationship. even tho it's something you wanted and know it's for the best. there's still huge loss...of hope and dreams.

when i split with my first husband 18 yrs. ago. it was all me. he begged me to stay. i couldn't/i wouldn't. but after all was said and done, i found myself grieving horribly. i called my mom. she said put on you sad records and cry it all out, baby. even tho it's something you needed and wanted, it's still a huge loss of hopes and dreams for yourself and your daughter. she was right. i did what she said. i moved on. it was a VERY positive move for my life and even for my daughter's! her father was never a part of her life prior to that (even tho we lived in the same home) he was just never there for her...ever. after the divorce, he became the perfect father...literally. i would've gone thru that all over again just for that.

i wish you so well. allow yourself to greive and go thru the motions. it will get better for you, and if it's better for you, it's b etter for little guy.

let us know how you're doing?

kd

[MontanaKimberly]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I am looking for a job so I can move out, and have started to find different things to do... Cooking class, story time etc. Wish me luck!!!

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((kimberly)))))))))))))))))))

no matter how large the steps, as long as they're forward, they'll get you to where you want to be

be safe,

kd

[(JD)]

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