Struggling again

The pain just won't stop... I wish I could have 1 hour, just 1 hour where I could have a completely different life, a happy life... just an hour to feel relaxed and breath with no pain.

Everything's triggering me at the moment... I can't escape.

The hardest thing in the world right now for you is to realize he isn't yours anymore. That feeling feels worse than anything you can imagine right now. The John that you want, you have--in your memories. You don't want the John that has lied to you, that has hurt you, that left you. You miss the connection, the talking, the hugging; I'm betting you're missing the friendship quality more than anything, and that's hard to get over. It is a grieving process. It's realizing that he was not the one meant to be in your life right now. Next year, who knows? But right now, you are not meant to be with him. Please look very closely at how he has acted and ask yourself if it truly doesn't matter that he has done this. I'll bet it does matter. Why? Because YOU matter. You are doing a lot of the right things to help retire this grief to its proper place but have you taken your meds yet? You know staying busy is the best fix for a mind that is dwelling on pain. Write a story, draw, paint, learn a new craft, bake a new dessert. You're taking such huge, huges steps on your path to healing. Take a break from the pain and love yourself. Spoil yourself. You deserve it. You deserve happiness. You will get happiness.

There is no chance of friendship, there is no chance of anything more without me in his life.
I don't want him to love anyone else I want my best friend back. I want to talk to him, but I can't I don't know how. I don't wanna hurt, but I want him in my life.
Qhy now, why does everything always get harder

I don't want to be here!! I don't even know what I'm talking abouy sob: nothong makes sense
and I'm still in bed again and its 12.50
my head hurts

oh i hate my dad... always has to be nasty, never shows any care, I wanna get out of here

I can't do this i cant do this I CANT DO ThIS!

Dear Silver_moon,

Please know, the pain will stop, when you least expect it to stop. Relief, may just be, a heartbeat away. Regrettably, there is nothing to do now, but have your pain. It is part of life. There can be no joy, without sorrow. There can be no sorrow without joy. I realize, these words, may very well sound trite, as you suffer. Nonetheless, there will be a time, in the near future, where the joy you will feel, will stand in stark contrast to your present sorrow.

You have my love and support,

Larry

What do you think he would say if he knew how you felt? Since he did register here, you could ask him to just look up your posts if you'd be more comfortable with that. But think about him--now, not when you were together--and think what he would say if you told him how hurt you are and how still in love with him you are. We never want to think of someone we love with someone else. In June I ended things with my fiance of 9 years. He is now living with someone and that kills me--stupid since I ended things. It's part of life, honey. You are so young. You really need to look at it as wondering what is the next step for you; recognizing and acknowledging the pain, telling the pain that it won't shape your life (it can come visit sometimes, but it won't rule you), and walking the next step in your life. Maybe you are meant to focus all your energy on the kids and on the classes you have been offered. Sure, you don't want to do any of it without him, but right now you have to. Maybe when he sees that you are strong and confident and really don't need him (although you may feel different), maybe then he'll realize what he had and maybe he'll see things differently. I say you allow yourself 18 1/2 more minutes (why that number? I have no idea. Because it's different, it's not doing things the same, normal way), so 18 1/2 minutes to cry, scream, shred paper, through a pillow, get down on the floor and throw a good old fashioned hissy fit and toss all the pain you feel right now out with it. Then, when the time is up, go wash your face, brush your hair, put on your make up if you wear it, go for a walk and start your day!

theres noone, noonne here irl.... my mams just yelling her head off at me.... ive noone else, im not even close with my mum... this is too hard todo on my own... and 4 yers! 4 years ive tried to make friends.... just proves im not worth anything

I HTE HIM I HAT HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM
he's made the biggest mistake of his life loosing me as a friend!
I wish I had someone else IRL... not to rely on, I don't want to rely on anyone... just to be with, just to spend time with.... distractions!!! I didn't rely on him, don't rely on him,,, he was just such a good friend and has dissapeared just like that, O IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'm fed up of doing it on my own! I'm not that kind of person!

Hi silver, I'm not a good advise giver. But I really wanna tell you thing that helps me.
Give yourself an idle time not thinking about anything. Set a target to yourself and do exercise. I do abs exercise. I set a target of 50 and I do it.
Try to feel how muscles are stretching and have small breaks between 10 or 15 times. Please try this for this for my dear silver_moon.

I bet if you just re-language the 'I can't do this' to 'I can get thru this', even thru the pain, it will send that message to your whole mind, and all your body cells that you are seriously getting over this.

I learned something quite unique with this cancer, which I had to shrink some, before I could get surgery ... and it might help you here.

Our bodies (which includes our minds and emotions) want to heal, and want to repair us, even if we aren't aware. This is scientific now, okay?

So, if we tell our minds that we have to get over something, and heal our emotions, our own wondrous bodies will heal the pain within.
We must help it along. Thank ourselves for healing. Show our gratitude to ourselves by taking the best care we can of us....

Anyway, I hope this helps you in some way.

It will take the time it takes to trust your mind to do the work there, and allow the emotions to hold healthier feelings, to replace the loss you are feeling, for something new to feel good about instead.

Something good about you will work, or thinking about your bright future, or even a lottery win(that's a fun one I'd do occasionally), whatever you care about that can inspire you or spur you on, forward, to start replacing the hurt emotions with... to see yourself happy, loved, and on a honeymoon, or with little ones someday, and Mr. Right by your side... that's a good thought (image), rather than what you feel you have lost.

There are guided imagery cd's by, you guessed it, Bellaruth Naperstak, on overcoming such emotions, and I swear by her stuff.
She has one for grief that might help you totally! Look into it at Amazon and order one! You will be sleeping well and each day, rising happier and happier... you will!

You might want to try some Qi Gong too! It's a healing marshall Art. It works by aiding the body in making it's own medicine... is that awesome. xo

Peace and Healing Love, My Friend!

I believe that you can do this molly....you such a nice person and you said that i can do this..so if u believe that i can get through this so u must believe that u can get through this too...
you just have to believe that the dawn will comes ....

(((((((((((((((( molly )))))))))))))))))))

And Btw.. If u just forget...
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.


Hugs for You as much as you need it....

Dear Molly,

I have found self hypnosis to be a great help. I draw the curtains, get into bed, and put on headphones plugged into a laptop. Of course, anything, that plays an MP3 will do. Also, you really don't need head phones either. I use them to eliminate other sounds, and not to disturb others.

It won't give you, the hours break you seek. However, you will be able to relax, for about thirty minutes. I always, feel better after a session.

I will send you a link, to a website, providing various recordings, many of which are totally free, and available for immediate download. I am reticent, to post it here, i.e., without prior permission. Anyone else interested, please send me a message, and I will forward the link.

Hoping, you find some peace,

Larry