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#1
Jan 15, 2009, 11:54 PM
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I don't know what's wrong with me. I was trying to do homework for my art class, it was a very simple assignment, just do two sketches of anything I want. I started drawing and started out feeling okay and as I went I just started feeling horrible. My drawing looked so bad and I couldn't make it look good and I kept thinking how I couldn't do it and I was going to be embarrassed in class when we had to hand the homework in and I was so bad at art and so bad at everything and I just started crying and now I can't stop, I'm just sitting at my computer crying and feeling so mad at myself. And now I am even more mad at myself for crying and being stupid and I just wish I had a good friend to talk to.
I don't even know why I am this way. I hate myself. so much. I want to just go away. |
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#2
Jan 16, 2009, 12:12 AM
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Art can often be a reflection of how we are feeling. It's true, it's a part of you. Don't be embarrased. I hope this was helpful in some small way at least.  take care and try to get some rest before school.
__________________
“Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.” 
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#3
Jan 17, 2009, 03:43 AM
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#4
Jan 17, 2009, 03:53 AM
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I think that you must be a real artist because you said "it was very simple" but for an artist I think it is not ever simple.
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#5
Jan 17, 2009, 01:51 PM
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I think you probably could draw your feelings. Just start sketching or doodling and you could e surprised by what appears. You can also start a journal and record your feelings that way. And as always, you can post them here where there are lots of caring and helpful people.
__________________
“Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.”
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#6
Jan 17, 2009, 01:57 PM
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I know I have turned things in in the past in art that I thought were horrible and I got an "A". We tend to be our own worst critics. Hang in there!
__________________
http://strawberryfields.psychcentral.net/ |
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#7
Jan 18, 2009, 01:17 AM
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Thanks for your replies everyone. I used to love art and it seriously now just makes me depressed because I can't do it. I don't enjoy a lot of things I used to because the fact that I'm not good at them just makes me so upset. I feel so depressed right now. I came home for the weekend because I can't stand being at school and now I don't want to go back, I just want to stay here and never go back to school. I feel horrible. I hate myself so much. I feel bad that I am taking up space on this board when I have no real problems I'm just being whiny.
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#8
Jan 18, 2009, 01:58 AM
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Hi littleyellowspider:
It's so good that this forum is here for you to say how you feel. I am so glad you are here! When I was in art class and they asked me to just do two quick art pieces I felt exactly the same as you. It just doesn't come that way (sometimes it might but often not). Mostly I do artwork because I have some inspiration to do so but if it is just for a mark I am more frustrated. It's so good that you took some action on your own behalf, like going home. Some art instructors try to allow you more freedom and some don't really know how to create that kind of environment. I thought today that on one drawing you could make and line and on the other some other line or circle or ....? I don't know why I felt so rebellious on your behalf but I did. Sometimes a good rest or a different location can make a difference. You don't have to go back to school tonight. Tonight you can rest and relax and breathe and let your artistic mind just go where it needs to. |
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#9
Jan 18, 2009, 06:07 AM
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Big hugs for you. All you want is a good friend to talk to, as you said in your first post. Well, there are many of those here for you. You can PM me anytime you like. And as for taking up space, you're not just taking up space with no real problems. Depression is as real as it gets and you deserve to air your feelings in a safe comfortable place. I heard the other day that we deal with feelings by acknowledging their presence. That is what you are doing, so you are in fact dealing with your depression. I know school can be hard, I'm in school myself. But try if you can to relax and just let your art flow like it used to. Maybe take suggestions from other people of what to draw if you can't think of anything. Just know that the talent is there and will express itself if you allow it to. Hang in there with school, it is so very important for getting a good career. Love and Hugs and all my support, Tara
__________________
 
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#10
Jan 18, 2009, 10:45 AM
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I can relate to used to loving art and now just finding it depressing because I felt I couldn't do it. I hope so much you can find love for it again. It doesn't matter wether it's 'good' or not (that may eve be a self-esteem issue?)... art is a great way of expressing ourselves. Next time you sit down to do some work and don't think it is going well... get up and go for a breather. Take a break, get a drink, try and relax and then go back to it. Many a times I've ruined a piece of work by continuing when I didn't have my heart in it. I do hope you are feeling a little better (((((((((((((((((( littleyellowspider ))))))))))))))))))) Take care, Molly
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#11
Jan 18, 2009, 07:53 PM
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Don't worry spider. You're fine. In fact I can relate to how you feel. The other day I was discussing some stuff with two colleagues and one of them said that she was shivering in spite of wearing 3 layers of clothes even though we were inside a building where it was like 68 F or above. So I couldn't believe her and I said "Oh, that's amazing". And the two of them just looked at each other and laughed. That made me feel horrible and stupid. I guess if I were to compare my story with yours, I guess I would turn out to be more stupid. But I don't think you are stupid. I suppose when we are feeling down these small minor things just bring us further down!
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#12
Jan 18, 2009, 07:56 PM
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Hey don't beat yourself up! You have every right to ask for love whenever you need it! I understand what you are going through!
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#13
Jan 18, 2009, 10:05 PM
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Thank you for your replies everyone. I really appreciate it.
I have ideas, I can't make them work. It makes me sad. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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