[hamstergirl]

Some mother-loving bureaucrat left a message about "X's body odour." My first name, no last name. This was the day after I showered, possibly the day of a shower.

My attendant then wanted me in the shower every day I went out. Since a shower is the most stressful part of my week, I had no choice but to quit my volunteer work. Having been hit with that low blow, I am now proceeding to sack anyone that could have been responsible for the comment. The mental health nurse....gone. I am also reassessing my need for a personal attendant, seeing as they will not rest content until their bureaucrats tell you how you must shower yourself...ie...on a shower bench.

The only contacts I will not be severing will the ones made on Psych Central. Any face to face human contact is now out of the question. This includes church.

No one can complain about my body odour if no one sees me.

I will also be showering constantly. At least twice a day, so that the remaining people forced to endure my presence will have no cause to complain.

If there was a way to completely cut all human contact from my life, including that made at the grocery store. I would do so.

I hope those bureaucrats are happy with the results of their comments

[Cassandra]

I don't know you, so I am undoubtedly way off base, and if I am please ignore me, but if you had an odor problem, and will be showering at least once a day now ( I don't know what your previous schedule was, of course) it sounds like the problem ought to be solved and that severing all human contact when there is no longer a problem is cutting your nose off to spite your face. Surely you would be happier in teh long run if you were less isolated, not more. YOu sound like you're angry right now, and maybe that's what's speaking: your anger and hurt. Please be well and don't withdraw from life.

[hamstergirl]

I don't recall including a poll asking about my body odour. Maybe I should. It seems to be the only issue people give a &^&% about and not if the shower physically hurts or stresses me out.

I've been up and crying for much of the night, not that it matters, and I've stripped myself down already so we can get this stupid thing over with. If I could do it myself safely, I'd be in there right now, just so someone else wouldn't have to do it to me.

For the record, just having the socks stripped from my feet hurts, having my feet moved hurts and my hips hurt. And if I get cold in the shower (which usually happens) it's ten times worse.

My feet hurt worse than my hips when my feet are rubbed or even brushed lightly. They hurt so bad that I don't have more than two pairs of socks to my name, so rarely can I bear having my socks removed.

I'm better off having no human contact because it means no snide comments from people who don't understand. I'm sorry that means church. The pain from my hips has ruined my social life anyway.

I'm hurting now. I'll feel better when I'm away from everyone and everything.

[bren]

Hampster-
I will never tell you that I understand the pain you are in, both physically and emotionally, I just want you to know that we are all here for you.
I hope I do not offend you, but what causes you so much pain. I don't have that much pain, but I do have pain that seems to limit my activities. I was just curious what causes you so much pain, and if anybody can help you with that.
Love to you
bren

[nothemama8]

Hamstergirl, for those that are offended by BO, just give them a clothes pin and a book on manners, peace and light thoughts sweetie
Love ya
Angie

[(JD)]

Hamstergirl... you don't smell to me! <font color="green">

I know this is tough. It's something you need to work on I guess. Ask your attendant WHAT you "smell" of... maybe you need more zinc in your system, or the medicine you take causes some of this? Also, are you using an ANTI persperant and not just a DEOdorant? Have you tried the Shower to Shower powder? It helps for when you can't shower. There are waterless soaps now... how about trying some of that? You won't have to take your socks off unless your feet stink too.. but even using a baby powder would help if that was part of the problem.

Try and take it as a way God is continuing to help you become the best you can be. In the past, no one even cared to say if you smelled or not... Maybe God knows that now you really are strong enough to begin to make more changes in your life?

Hang in there.

Ouch. That would be a hurtful thing to hear for anyone, let alone someone who has such difficulty taking care of the day to day things that are so easy for others! Jeepers.

Is it possible that it's not you at all, but your clothing? Maybe your attendents are not washing your clothing often enough? Or you don't own enougth to get you through the week?

I sure hope you are able to reasess the situation, maybe in a couple days, and figure out a solution that will allow you to continue to attend church. It's been such a special part of living for you.

Take care. emmy

[soledad1]

Oh hamstergirl I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'd be furious and humiliated if it happened to me. I hope you don't give up your contact with the outside world though. I think emily and sky had some good practical suggestions. It seems to me your treatment team should be brainstorming to find ways to make it less painful for you to do your personal hygeine rather than laying out ultimatums.

I'm glad you'll still be coming to boards. I read your posts before I ever started posting and missed you when you were not posting for a while. Earlier you posted that you wanted to start helping people more and I wanted to let you know that your posts have helped me. I don't have your physical problems but in some other ways we have a lot in common. I hope your day has gone better than you expected and that you won't give up.

[Wants2Fly]

I have been told that I had body odor by a co-worker. I was at that time not using deodorant bec. my husband liked the way I smelled.

I've also been told that my breath smelled. That was because of medications I was taking.

In both instances, people did it privately. I believe that it was difficult for them to do so -- that it was not a message they enjoyed delivering. I believe they did it to help me.

I don't know how you were approached, Shelley. Surely it must be obvious to people that accomplishing tasks that the rest of us take for granted are challenging and painful for you? I can only pray that the message was delivered with some tact. It isn't an easy message to hear. I did want to cry both times and felt very bad.

I hope that you won't shut yourself away because of this.

[luvtiels]

Hamstergirl,
I too, have an odor problem that I've been battling my entire life. No matter how many showers/baths I take I still have a problem. There is something about my body chemistry that does it... has to be.

I have been told (by my caregiver) that others have commented on it - without my actually hearing the comments, of course. And when I am at Denny's ( a restaurant ), no one wants to sit next to me. I can have taken a shower that very day, not 30 minutes before I show up there, and I guess I STILL have an odor about me. I myself, cannot smell it.

I use deodorant, powder, perfumes, soap, etc, etc... and it does not help much. So I definately know how you feel. But I refuse to give up human contact because of it. I let them know, disceetly, that I have a problem with my body chemistry, and if they don't or won't or can't accept that, oh well. If I offend anyone, I am very sorry, but there is nothing that I can do to make it better. Like I said earlier, I have been dealing with this my entire life. It does make it hard to be social, though, and I feel for you.

PS..... I am so glad that you brought up this subject, because I can finally give a voice to what I've been keeping inside for so very long!! Thank You!

[Wants2Fly]

Luvtiels &amp; Shelley -- You are very brave to bring this up. Body odour is one of those "secrets" that we don't talk about in Western society.

I've heard that our society is obsessed with it and that it just doesn't matter in other countries/cultures as much.

We often think that people who have a lot of garlic in their diets "smell bad" bec. garlic is emitted through the pores. Yet, garlic is an excellent defense against many illnesses -- in addition to being a proven deterrent to vampires!

This one of many topics that I benefit from becoming more aware about.

[cms39]

I agree with Wantstofly that we are OVERLY concerned about bodily smells in this country. Everyone has to be perfumed, etc.

However, it is the norm in this country so to fit in, we do what we can. I do hope that you, hamstergirl, will continue your volunteer work.

[(JD)]

LOL wantstofly... I used to give my dog garlic capsules to ward off fleas! It was a bad time after the hurricane... normally fleas don't like him anyway because of his labrador oils... but yes! you're body can be reacting to something you're eating.. even if it's not garlic.

[adieuolivaw]

HAMSTERGIRL:

Of course your pain, physical and emotional, matters much more than body odor. We care about you and how you feel. It would be sad, however, if you denied yourself your social activities because of anger and fear that you would offend others.

You can fix this! Not by going to extremes of two showers a day, but by a few sensible methods. I'm not supposed to shower every day, because that dries my skin too much. And yet I still perspire profusely. *sigh* What to do?

Don't know if this helps --- but I have to spray my shoes, my socks, my computer chair, with my body spray. Nothing else works. I had to throw out a pair of leather sandals because they were so smelly! I hated parting with my Berkies, but nothing would eliminate the awful, pungent odor. The lesson for me is that I can never wear sandals without socks. Is it possible your wheelchair and cushion collect odors? I wonder if Fabreze would help.

And about socks? No way can I take off shoes or slippers without changing socks. Even when I wear slip-on sandals, my socks become terribly smelly. And my feet swell a lot. So I have to wear only the most stretchy and light athletic socks, with some nice minty foot power inside. So for me it's fresh socks and foot powder every single day.

Ladies perspire. Men sweat. There should be a third category to describe people who sweat volumes, as I do. Perfume or cologne are much too heavy to mix with my body chemistry. So I use body spray. I have to apply my body spray a couple of times a day, always before going out, and quite liberally. Once I had a compliment on it, so I may never change that scent. Someone said it was like a fresh breeze came in when I walked in the door. I almost fainted from happiness. I use a cucumber-melon scent, which I chose precisely because, to me, it smelled very clean.

I even had to cut my hair extremely short, because I perspire terribly in my scalp and have to wash my hair twice a day if I do housework.

And I absolutely can't eat anything with garlic in it. Garlic will come out of my pores for days afterward. Nothing will eliminate that odor. And I can't eat onions that day if I'm going out. *sigh*

No, pleasing our public is not what matters the most. However, those of us who have special odor problems (and I certainly do) can usually find a compromise zone --- where we don't limit ourselves from going out.

I'm sorry this is additional stress for you, Hamstergirl. We are only trying to help you find a way to be emotionally comfortable when you go out. That's what you deserve.

Love,
Adieu

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Adieu and Hamster --

Adieu, thank you for reminding us that the suggestions are to help Shelley feel more comfortable -- not worse. Your suggestions are so practical and to the point. Brava!

[Crazy_Charlie]

Hamster girl, I guess you have cerbral palsy and that it makes it difficult for you to shower.Is it really necessary to shower to get rid of your "body odor"? isn't it enough if you just wash yourself with a cloth and use deodorants? people smell different, some people have stronger odors than others, but working with others also require that you are able to stand different smells. Garlic smells, tobacco smells, food smells, foot sweat, bad breath.. you name it. People with sensitive noses should get an office job... with a private office!

CC

[Wants2Fly]

Hello HG -- I just wondered if you'd been reading, and how things were going for you.

I've always wondered what your logon name, HamsterGirl, signified. The other day I was thinking about how I go through life like a little hamster in a cage, running around on my wheel, getting nowhere. I was wondering if that was how you picked your identity name for the Forums.

I hope you are okay, Shelley.

[hamstergirl]

Actually, I just got around to reading all the lovely messages just now. I'm not on the Forums as much as I used to be.

Muchas gracias for your suggestions.

I will respond in the morning when I've had a bit more sleep. I feel headachy and sick now.