[dayzee9]

((((((( Finally the Mouth w/ Too Many Smilies))))))))))

After an evening of playing "Let me help you" I realized that I came to the "forums" tonight b/c I, the big-mouthed, unemployed psych nurse, who uses the smilies too much (according to one person) is experiencing a somewhat serious problem of my own........

I wasn't too sure which forum to post this problem in b/c it involves a few different aspects

For the past few weeks I have problems with not being able to sleep for days at a time b/c "sleeping" felt "confining", my ED's(which would be under Eating Disorders) are going whacko d/t different of my "alters" (this would going under Dissociative Disorders) In the big picture; it kinda goes like this:

I am on the Internet, working on a Human Services project of my own (since I'm unemployed, I still feel compelled to help my fellow mental health consumers, I'm a psych nurse..hey!))
around the clock. I am obsessed to the point where I don't eat/or I can't remember when/if I ate; when I do try to eat consciously...one of my extreme alters w/ a big ED problem will not let us swallow anything, she'll push it back up into our mouth; I don't sleep but I exercise continuosly while I work on the computer (don't even ask); I have one alter who has a definite JD attitude towards hoarding our meds & taking too many at inappropriate times; "someone" apparently is taking laxatives (I don't know why b/c I don't think we eat that much)Lately, when I look in the mirror I look really fat; but when I'm "power walking" around town I look at my image in store windows and I see a very thin person. I cannot get myself to weigh in b/c I can't be sure the numbers I'm seeing are "real" or not......my husband is really getting annoyed w/ me when I don't sleep; or when I'm on the computer; or when I'm staggering around b/c someone ate too many hoarded meds; finding bruises on my body & I don't know how/why I have them...............

Ok........Everyone cannow tell me that I need , my other alter who's agoraphobic keeps cancelling our appts. w/ our T...."and she's the one giving advice??"?

I'd appreciate some feedback, if anyone has any ideas or would like to tell me to "get lost" I'm used to people thinking I'm crazy * "bouncing" me out of support groups....

YO! Is reality just a state of mind in one parallel universe? Which mirror do you trust? Someone bought abig bottle of diet pills yesterday & this afternoon I opened the bottle and it's half empty........

Why I'm I posting this?



((((((((((((((((((( DAYZEE))))))))))))))))))))

[Mahali]

I wish I could offer at least a partial solution. Seems like you are going through a very tough time. Is there anybody who could at least help monitor the meds for you? I know you are trained in this but not everybody there is using your knowledge apparently.

Good luck with this. Let me know if I can help.

Take care.

place

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((((((Dayzee))))))))))))))))))))
I don't have a solution but I wanted you to know I care and don't think you are crazy at all. I wish you the best.

[cat_eye]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way hun...I don't know enough about DID to give ya advice, but here are some hugs (only if you want them of course):

((((((((((dayzee)))))))))))

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((( dayzee ))))))))))))))))))))) it sounds like maybe it's time for some drastic measures. is there someone in your life that you trust enuf (hubby would be perfect) to monitor the meds? also, can you ask hubby to keep control of the purse strings until things calm down. you need some outside help on this one i think. also, can you let hubby or someone else close to you know what's going on with the t appts and then let t know? that way a solution can be made about getting you there?

i hope there's someone close to you that you trust enuf to bring them in on this for some help. you need help keeping an eye on what "alters" are doing....then you can possibly get to the 'whys'.

i will not keep cash on me and there was a time when i had to give hubby check book,etc, because of some things that were being bought. also, i had to let daughter and hubby know that i was NOT to go anywhere alone...no matter what i said ( i told them that i was driving and not remembering and that was all i said, but they helped.)

i wish you well. i would seriously think about pulling in some outside help with this.

gl and let us know!

kd

[RhysMadison]

If you can get some grounding techniques to help w/ reality, that would help. I find myself not knowing what happened & when. I have a supportive husband so I simply ask him. He gets irritated at times but hey, I can't remember! The best thing is to enlist a trusted person to keep tabs on you so to speak as KD said she did.
Best of luck.
Love,
RhysMadison

[Monty_girl]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ DayZee }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sounds like that train is going 90mph down a steep mountain track that's full of curves??? Can you call your T tomorrow and see if you can get in tomorrow?? Or as soon as possible. Tell hubby when the appointment is and have him make sure that you go. Even if he has to drag you, tell him to get you there. Or ask hubby to make you an appointment and then the others wouldn't know and have him take you that way. That way there would be no backing out of it. Post or PM, let's hear what's happening. There are many here you care about you. Somethings up. Ya know where to reach me. (((((((((((((((((( DayZee )))))))))))))))))) We can get through this. Take Care, Monty

[kerria]

Hi Dayzee,

When things become so confusing and out of hand with losing time and parts that have dangerous agendas sometimes only T can help get things under control. Without communication it's been impossible for me to get anything done to help myself when my parts have needs like that - that are sabotaging every attempt that you make to have help. There must be something that upset them.

It will be ok to go to T's - it's safe to get help - you don't have to be afraid. Ask someone to come with you now, while you have it in your mind. It will help stay out of the hospital.

Please take care. i know that it's so hard to have the need to be the thinnest person and i'd never want to mess with your deep needs. Let your T know to see if there's an easier and safer way to get what is better for your body (((((Dayzee)))))safe hugs. It sounds like you need help to control the chaos inside.

In our system there are 'normal' parts who we can distract us to let us get away from the parts that don't understand the consequences of the overdose of diet pills? Are there any parts that you can encourage to come out to help tide you over this hard place?

We have a couple of special interest parts that can drop everything and spend the day gardening-starting seeds inside or reading a book on John Keats poetry.
Maybe read through some of the forums and there will come an idea to distract the ED alter and get you involved with a safer pursuit.
Dayzee you are so needed in your field. It shows how hard you're trying because you asked for help. Please let something that you read get through to a strong alter that can help bring safety and help. Please try to get yourself to a friend's house to call your T or pick up the phone if things continue to stay out of control.

You're halfway there. You can do it - you've helped others and now it's your turn to allow yourself to receive help.

i hope things calm down inside soon.
Please take care,
kerria

[alikat]

girl i'm here for you. i know that sleep deprivation can lead to alters spinning you out of control. i do hope you'll try to get in to see your t (Monty girl's idea of "covert interception" is what it might take). pm me anytime.

take care of yourself,
alikat

[dayzee9]

(((((((TO ALL YOU HAVE RESPONDED W/ CARE))))))))))))))))

Thank you all SO VERY MUCH.......It's very hard when you're a person with my education/background to have to get up the courage to even TRY to post what I did!!!

Just knowing that there are a few very special-hearted ppl "out there" (when you're so "NOT HERE")

Saves me from sinking w/ the rest of the "Lost Souls of On-line Forums"

From my heart to yours.......

what else can I smilie??? Thanks!

(((((((((((((((((((((( DAYZEE)))))))

late late night thoughts for you:

smarts don't win this war.........the brain just cannot grasp itself which is why we seek help from pdocs and Ts and other professionals so that we stay alive and learn better ways of living that life we're alive for.

the meds issue is troublesome. imo this needs attention first. "my husband is really getting annoyed w/ me when I don't sleep; or when I'm on the computer; or when I'm staggering around b/c someone ate too many hoarded meds; finding bruises on my body & I don't know how/why I have them" Your husband needs to do more than be annoyed. I agree with others that his intervening here is most likely necessary. We cannot have you hoarding meds and doped up and strung out and passed out and bruised up. This isn't good hon.

I'm aware I preach to the choir here.

The ED issues are monsterous to deal with and you know better than I that with the methods being utilized by all involved with the ED behaviours are ultimately going to lead to permanent harm.

Someone in you is aware enough to post honestly here and tell us the truth of what is going on in your lives.

what is reality? that's part of your subject line for this thread. Reality is getting the help you not only deserve but desperately NEED!! and yes like someone else here mentioned if trickery is needed then do it! You're smart enough to know that silly dayzeeeeee Fool yourselves into getting help. In fact I'm less concerned with how you go about it than I am that you DO start getting help with these very serious issues that affect your ability to think, function, you know......basically live.

kindly and overlysleepy

[dayzee9]

((((((((((((( Today is the Day!))))))))))))

Worked out a "no way out" plan to get us all to our T "today" It's 0130...we WILL get something worked out...or at least I am doing some serious hoping.....trickery or Tarot Cards..I don't care! I need some sleep, I woke up w/ bright red hair today..I AM NOT HAPPY!!!!!

HOWEVER; I wish to say for all of you who offered their thoughts, feedback & caring. I'm hoping for the best....after bright red hair, how much worse could it possibly get??

((((Slip Slidin Away DAYZEE))))))))))))))