ekkkkkkkkk..........pap exam

I know this is a yucky topic. I pretty much hate it as well. But I have to go for my exam on saturday. I really hate going. Besides it being emotionally painful, it's also very physically painful for me as well. I like my doc, she's nice and all. She takes her time with me. But the whole thing is not something anyone ever enjoyes. I just hate going and I have going to the doctor. It seems that in the last 6 months I've been in the doctors office at least once every month. And in dec. I was going like every week because I was not getting well at all. I'm just tired of going to the doctor knowing something is wrong and them knowing something is wrong, but yet never finding out what is causing me to be sick. Guess I'm just hoping that they will finually find some answers. My blood presure is a roller coaster going up and down. Now it's around 148/98, my white blood cell count is high, I have blood in my urine ( they have done test and it's not an infection causing it) I can't walk down my driveway to check my mail without getting so out of breath that I feel like I could pass out. I've gained so much weight ( and it's not do to medication, I'm not on any psych meds ) Gained 20 lbs since last summer and 50lbs in the last 5 years. My thyroid has been check twice already and comes back bordline, but not anything to cause the weight gain. I'm just tired. Feel like my body is falling apart and I'm trapped in it. I just want some answer, give me some reason for what's happening or send me to someone else. I know I'm depresed and I know it takes a toll on your body. But I've had clinical depression since I was 10. I know how my body reacts to being depressed. This is not depression. I just hope maybe saturday goes better and I get some kind of answer.

This is similar to me having to have my root canal! Pap smears... hate them. I am good, I go every year like I'm supposed to but the terror is still there.
I commend you for knowing your body & that this is not 'your depression'. Stress is a serious thing as well. It can wreck havoc on your immune system, causing you to be sick. I don't know if they have tests for that or not per se. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. I was down this road myself for a few years. They believed I was sick but in my case, everything was normal. No high blood pressure, no blood in urine, I was supposedly healthy. At least w/ you, they have signs they can go on.
Love,
RhysMadison

...just another good reason to stay celebate :grin

Monty ....I am sending you good thoughts. How frustrating to not feel well and have the DRs. not tell you anything. I think I would demand a referal to another Dr. (but I am cranky that way). I hate Dr's offices and they better dang well be able to do something if I go there.

I hope you get relief and answers. I am glad you are going for help.

Good luck

place

How did it go Monty? I was thinking about you. I found it hard for me to even respond to this post as I find the yearly pap exam difficult as well.

I hope it went smoothly and that you begin to get some answers to what is going on with the body. Sounds like more than depression from what you describe. Good luck with finding out. Please let us know as you're able.

I can relate to your words about being in the docs office every week. I went through some health issues a couple years back where I was a human pincushion for blood draws and tests. I felt wretched, looked wretched and nothing came back conclusive. It was a long haul for me to get back to relative wellness. Keep at those docs if you don't get answers you like. You deserve to feel better and have the correct tests done to help dx what's going on!

Good luck Monty. I'm proud of you for looking after your health by following up on these appts.

Hi _zh, thanks for asking how it went. Well it didn't. I got up early and got dressed and went into town for my appointment and when I got there. There was a sign on the door saying they were closed. So I was pretty mad. I had to call ( went I don't do well ) and make another appointment for May 7th because I'll be out of town for work next week. So I'm just kind of sitting around numb to everything. Is so much happening right now in my life I can't see straight. My T completely rechanged my treatment goals and is really digging into so deep stuff, is very hard to deal with right now. My T has my pieces sharing their memories with me now in T. Feel like an open wound 99% of the time. And now my dad is really really sick. He lives so far away from me and I don't have money for airfare to go to see him. My step-mom said that he keeps asking for his baby. Everything is just extremely overwhelming right now. I haven't been in the forums for about a week right now. I've just had to quit for a little while until things here slow down to be somewhat manageable for me. But I'll try and keep ya up dated on the docs too. Been in pain again with my kidney the last few days. Think it's been triggered by all of the stress right now. Thanks for thinking about me _zh, Monty

(((((((((((((monty))))))))))))) (if ok)

that sounds like so much going on right now, and it sounds stressful as well. i'm sorry it's all facing you all at once. i hope you manage to find a healthy way through it all .

(((((((((((((((((((( monty )))))))))))))))))))))) i'm so sorry to read about your father. i'm going thru the same right now. it's so hard.

i hope your physical and emotional pain heals soon.

love ya,

kd