Tired of trying

seems to me that the more good I try to do, the more people undermine what I've said and turn it into something wrong. Well, I'm tired of trying. So I'm quitting. Everything. No more, no more, no more.

We understand that , (((Jewels)))

We're sorry you are so hurt and sad. Please don't give up trying.

We feel the exact same way...
Wishing you the best.
(Webber)Erik

(((Jewels)))

Oh, Jewels please don't quit
You are too important in the world
Here for a reason
So keep on trying!
if okay

Can you just post here for a bit, Jewels so we can show you our respect and admiration . It's been awhile since you wrote and it's always tremendously wonderful to hear from you!

Hunny

(((((((((((((Jewels)))))))))))) I so understand. The other day, I was searching through some old posts and found one where I said I was completely done. I don't remember writing that post, but I do remember feeling that way at times. I just thought I couldn't do it one more day, couldn't deal with life, people, anything. I was so done.

Now I look back on that time and I am amazed at where I am now. I still have depression but things are so much better for me now overall. Even when I have bad days, they aren't like that anymore. I never would have thought any day would be even okay. I am telling you this because I think you can get there too. I know some days are so discouraging and so hard. But I hope you will hang in there. Things can get better in time.

We care about you.

((((jewels)))) - yeah, it gets that way sometimes. but it doesn't mean you have to always feel like that. it does feel like it's never going to end, but wanttoheal here is giving a good example.

please don't give up. i know this sounds cliche, but i believe it's true: tough times are there to make us better soldiers.

safe ones if okay,
twilight

((((((((((((((( Jewels )))))))))))))))

((((jewels)))))
the road to recovery is really really hard and sometimes even harder...
take a break, do something for YOU, have some fun...
get a bottle of bubbles and blow bubbles and watch them float and glisten in the sun..
if you have flowers just sit among them or if not, buy yourself a bunch of cut flowers or a small flowering plant. flowers are great listeners and love music and to be talked to....
if you like chocolate, make finger paints out of instant chocolate pudding made with water instead of milk. lick fingers often
play a kid game or read a funny book or just take a nap under a tree.....
these are much more fun than giving up and restore the soul so much better.

also, re-read your signature.....you have some very wise and uplifting "jewels" there.

I believe you, Jewels. Sometimes I feel like how you described. I want to throw it all away and run away from home. Unfortunately, "wherever I go, there I am".

It won't stay awful forever. I WOULD REALLY MISS YOU JEWELS IF YOU WENT AWAY. You all matter to me. I pray it gets better sooner than later. Hugs to you all!

Thank you all for your wonderful and touching posts. Sometimes I can't see the forest because the trees get in the way. That is how I am feeling right now. I know in my head that it won't always be this way, that I have the tools and things to get through this, but it seems like whatever good I do I get thrown to the lions for doing it. Life just isn't fair sometimes, and sometimes it's downright rude. When you try your very best, and it isn't good enough, for long enough, you begin to wonder what is so wrong about you that people just want to peck you to death with their words or their actions. I've tried staying on the offensive, trying to be polite and listen, but I end up more hurt than before. So I end up getting into the defensive behaviors, and before I notice, I have ended up being just as rude to them as they were to me. Oh well. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and some of them are right here in this very forum. So, thank you for all your support. I think God knew exactly what He was doing when He showed me this place.

Yahna

(((yahna and all the jewels who accept hugs)))

your post is very touching, thank you. i'm so glad you're still hanging on. you're very strong even though it might not feel like it at the moment.

here listening

twilight

ty twilight...we feel about as strong as a wet noodle...an feel like we're at that breakin point an donno how ta get around it so we dont feel that way...after several years of therapy we thought we'd b farther along...so whats the dam holdup now? we r hopin this is just a temporary thing an we wont hafta go too much longer b4 we see some lastin changes...is just weird that now that schools gearin up for our lass that we would start feelin stuck again...when we'd rather b doin stuff with her we find ourselves hopelessly mired in stuff that we thought we dealt with b4 now...just dont understand is all...an seems foreign at the same time...kinda like dejavu but not the same if that makes ne sense...almost like its a starting over typa thing...our case mgr's dad is very sick an might not make it an that may b triggerin our stuff bout our dad...hes been gone for 26 years now an we still have unresolved feelins bout his death...we donno if thats it but have a sneakin suspicion that is part of it...please keep us in ur thoughts...

megwetch...

abbi

I agree with this, hun!
Great points!
(Webber)Christine

Dear Megwetch, Yahna and Jewels,

You hit on the same sore spot I think that the pixies and I are hurting over. My children are going forward in their lives with all their own situations and challenges and we are STILL dealing with some issues over and over again and have been with our T for 15 years now. Some of us feel angry over the length of time we've been having to spend on these issues and then up pops an alt who's never been out before now. ARGH!

I really hoped we would be healed and over this by now - DOING LIFE NOW, instead of DOING THERAPY AS LIFE. AAAHHHHHGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

I am tired of trying too, tired of trying to untangle the crazy, mad ball of yarn that is my life with DID. so tired.

For me, I just can't quit, I've been trying to go through this process and ultimately it has made my life better than anything that came before. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and breathe in and out until we all get heard and we all get helped. I do not want any little part of us left unheard, unaided. I ain't enjoying the trip, but I gotta get to the destination someday... I know you want to also. One day at a time, One hour at a time.

Hang in there, ok?

((((((((((((( Jewels )))))))))))

Hi all the Jewels

so sorry that we missed this post dont know how it happened really except that we not been here very much as we have been very sick physically but are now on the mend.

I'm so sorry that you been feeling so badly used and unheard, sometimes peoples words and actions can hurt us real bad and they can be so insensitive. Rememeber this is their stuff and belongs to them but it is so easy for us to take it on board with all our garbabge.

You , all of you ARE so so appreciated and we know that we dont say thank you to wonderful people who help us so much, often enough......... we are sorry if we ever made you feel bad or that we have left you feeling as if we dont care cus we really do care about you all.

The Jewels are an inspiration to us.........they always show us the different ways to look at things and offer their unconditional love and support to us all. Dont give up on all the good work you do , you help so many in so many ways but sometimes we can't see all of our own excellent qualities. Im sorry that some old stuff is resurfacing...............this sucks big time, but know that if and when it resurfaces we are here......lean on us , come here and write it all out and then when you have dumped some of it away.............go out , have fun and spend some good quality time with you beautiful and precious daughter.

Not everything has to go on hold til all this stuff passes and know that soon, so very soon all the rewards of your hard work will be yours for you all to be happy and live your live with your daugther

In my thoughts and prayers for some peaceful resolutions and until then many many hugs for those that need them


Liz xxxx