too much information???

I've been reading most everything I can about DID since my T said I "have it". Now I am more confused than ever!! I know when an alter is out. I just am there. I seem to have most of the memory when an alter is out.--but for the life of me I can't find my credit card or one of my favorite shirts. I get headaches. I don't know where my alters reside. I don't have blackouts, just little stuff. I don't even reallly know who I am and where everyone else begins--I hear them talking like thoughts in my head and find myself talking to myself out loud and answering myself in a way that sounds so weird. Like not me saying it. I don't experience things like "syble" or others that I read about. I question that I even have DID except that there sure are 2 distinct alters that show up. I think i am just plain crazy. Anyone able to help out???
White Iris

(((((((((((((((( white iris ))))))))))))))))) thank you for your candid post. most to all DID'ers continually question their dx's...or even consider themselves liars. i don't know why, but i do it as well. i think, "you big liar. you just made that up." that's not an insider. that's me. i also have questioned my dx for other dx's.

what it boils down to is...i have others inside this body with me...that share/take time. you explained that you know most of the time. that's great! co-conciousness is what i hope for...all of the time. i experienced it (i think) with my father's passing.

another point, alot of DID'ers aren't like "sybil", or alot of these books/movies that make the media. remember, these are extreme cases. not a good comparison

the things that you don't know about...it would seem that others are hiding things from you. if it were me, i would cancel the credit card. you might have lost it and someone might have plans for it.

you're "normal" for DID. that's great! it sounds like you have very lax walls right now with the awareness that you and your others share. you seem to know alot. however, for everything you know there might be that much more there that you don't know. stick with your t and learn more about yourselves.

again, ty. i needed this post.

kd

White_iris, just remember that every person dx'ed with DID is different then the next. No two DID systems are ever the same. And everyone goes thru denial. There are many days that I just can't believe in anything. After I was dx'ed another T in the clinic I was going to had told my T that I was just seeking attention. My T was very sure of the dx of DID. But sometimes it's in the back of your head, " But was that another T right". Even though he had never seen me. So just remember that things you read about may or may not apply to you, because no 2 ppl with DID are ever the same. I in some ways can relate to Sybil, but not in everyway. I'm ashamed to say I have actually watched the movie. Can't believe I'm admitting that But there is one part where Sybil believes that she's making it all up and is in denial of the dx as well. I think being in denial at times is just part of it.

The "headaches" are one of the signs. I get mental ones, I would tell people, My head hurts. That means I'm switching. Most DID people have 'headaches'. I know some of what goes on, then other times, I don't. I just know I'm not me. I go to my husband sometimes (more lately 'cos going thru a bad time) & say to him "I'm not me".
Denial, oh yes, been there. This is meant to be funny so take it lightly- Anytime I say to myself, Hey, I'm not DID, I'm not like Sybil (I hate when people compare people to Sybil yet I do it to myself to get my own goat). I don't lose "that" much time. I just have a wild imagination. I'm creative. I like to talk to myself. (& answer) But no, I'm not DID.
Then I would get a mental kick. A "So, you think we aren't here huh?" Then I would start arguing w/ them & they would say, Um you are answering your own question. We are here, we exist, we are real.
My mind's kinda going oddly lately, so is my grammar. But I understand. I do. Even if my words are coming out in gibberish.
Love,
RM

I found my credit card!! IN a coat pocket. Still can't find my shirt. The weirdest thing happened. I was journaling and I started getting a headche then I'm watching myself write and my handwriting became real angry and so did what I was writing. I was writing what I was hearing in my head--and boy is someone MAD "...stop telling or I will have to do something...be quiet and stop talking..." I have an appt with my T in about an hour. I'm going to show her

I'm scared now--I don't know who is mad at me. STOP STOP NO MORE SHE CAN'T TALK ANY MORE NO MORE