clarification...

*Please be careful reading this, could trigger*

I am attempting to figure something out below, so I am combining two posts here from another post by someone else and one of them being my own. Then the pink one is my current post. I may have to start again if this question is not clear. Perhaps that is what I am doing?!*sigh*

This is my original post: This is a question that we just not know what to do with and want to say but find it hard to.

When we think we can not longer stand the emotional pain...there is...internally a part that we could post what it looks like but we not want to and not want to scare no one.

She/he/it looks pretty hurtie but we had a our therapist at last session ask us about...it was well needless to say not a question we wanted to look at...but we did.

So the question that comes out is that we don't actually look like this part when we are done but we definately have the beginnings of you know hurties that we know means we are almost going to if we not be careful. So, question is that when we look at all the hurties this part has we not see a result on our body but, you know could be various forms, like falling down, or over exercise, or doing dishes and you know a knife in sink, stuff like that.

So, we want to soothe her/him/it but well it is so diverse we can barely find all the kindnesses to extend to it and at times like recently we just wanted it to be not still internally with us but there it was...Hi we say...but it don't talk or nuthin'. We want to incorporate her/him/it but only can extend "I'm sorry's" and try to remember it be there and that it no longer has to carry the hurties or make new hurties.

Not wanting to scary anyone...but just lookin' to understand.


This is my current post: So, just to claify about this from the above post...sorry that was another part trying to ask on our behalf and I'm afraid it's not all that clear.

Have you ever meet a part internally that carries most of the pain? How have you decided to help that part. What about current pain emotional and physical or otherwise. What have you done with it?

How do you meet and talk to that alter that specifically did not speak because that was not it's job? I don't want to ignore this alter but I also do not want to greet and take back all the pain either.

Yes, in therapy some of the emotional pain is dissipated and yes we are not opposed to certain meds for pain but the questions remain. What will this alter look like if there is no more pain to carry and old pain is relieved. This alter is not necessary part then. Beleive it or not there is a sadness around this.

I remember when it became known to me. We had been studying some other eastern religions and we saw for the first time...like sending the pain away and there it was gone. But not true really gone, just waiting inside as a part to receive all the hurties. Now I want to release her from this task but am slightly afraid what will happen to any unresolved pain. Will I be able to hold it. I will need to do this, that Anderson suggests as an ongoing thing:

This is where I am quoting Anderson's post: "WE no want to hurt others but people have been coming out asking what to do for parts that self harm. We are writing this to put into writing how we help each other internally. But these ideals may even work for people with out D.I.D./M.P.D. We just sorry we are hurting to bad to talk about it in chats. Those that SI do so when they hurt the most and for us we can separate when we write but our feelings are more attached when we talk about it. ………………………………........................
When we started doing this we picked the smallest scare now at the time we knew how it was made but it was not connected to a specific event. With this scare we treated it with herbal creams but Scare cream can be used to. If you can add some lavender oil it will be calming and it helps to encourage new skin growth. Liquid gel Vitamin E is the cheapest way to start. It softens the skin and it will encourage healing even on a fresh cut or wound. Whether the target is fresh or old we treat it the same way now. When we are calm we make positive affirmations statement that we repeat while treating the area.
For example:
“Even though I (WE) feel this pain, I (WE) totally love and accept our/myself as I/We are.”
“Even though I (WE) hurt my/ourselves in pain I/we still love this body and accept it.”
“Even though I/WE feel angry for the pain I/we feel, we still love this body for the joy it will bring us in the future.”
“Even when we hurt this body from emotional pain, we totally love and accept it. We forgive ourselves for the pain we caused it.”
“Even though others have hurt us because of this body, we still love and accept this body as our own”
Just by going “Even tough…………., I/we still love this body.” It is a beginning, a place to start the healing of body and mind. The scares we see are only the physical marks that we bear from encounters that none of us want to remember. But when you let the body knows that it is still loved, the mind will accept it when you are ready to accept it yourself. By applying the creams to all the areas but just focusing on one mark you may be able to start the healing but to tackle all at once it was to overwhelming for us. So we closed our minds apply the cream to all areas. Then we just focus on only one area. By taking it in small groups we are able to handle the pain that came with the acknowledgement of how they had come to be. When the pain of acceptance became to much we started to take baths with oils of lavender, clary sage, cedar wood, and sweet marjoram. (Use only a few drops in bath water) When in the baths we would think of it as a purifying ceremony. We would play healing music and use candle light. We allowed our self the space to let nature heal that which we did not want to accept. There have been times that we cried the whole time from the pain then we would calm down and almost fall asleep because we started to focus on the smell, sounds and the light. Even the warmth of the water was calming when you put yourself back into the womb to be reborn anew. None of us can change the past but we can choice to be reborn again to a new life, a new beginning. The hardest part of letting go is the ability of letting go of hope for a better past. Of accepting that those that hurt us will get their own just deserts maybe not on our time but they will on universe time. There are very few people that can quite any coping technique over night but after each time you hurt your self or even before are better to take care of self. You will start to trust you’re self and be able to start new ways of dealing with the pain. We will try to write other ways that work for our friends to but we just wanted to share one way of self help. This is from all of us."

Also, I could go to a pain management and also to Crew's chat on pain? It is what I would call a little more than a small concern I/we have.

Sorry to go on and on about this...it's been a concern that has resurfaced as of late.

Love,
Hunny

(((((HUNNY)))))
The reason our pain is so stong is because there are those that have used our fear againts us. There are those that honestly thought they were helping us heal but the truth is that non of those that wanted anything to do with us in person did not want to help but create more pain for us. That is why we are hurting so much. The biggest waight on us now is not the past pain but the pain of the present abuse of not having no one to trust face to face not to try to hurt us. We even told someone yesterday our biggest mistake is two fold we went to mentil health to get help they told eveybody we were not going to recover so a group of men desided to use my pain to their advantage. The second mistake was believeing that anyone could accept me for who I am and help us heal in safety. This is not true for everyone here this was based on what happened to me and how those around me choice to see the truth.
As to you inner part, start doing healing time. That is when we take a doll or even use your grand children. But during this time picture the part and say to that part as I treat this...... That is how I am treating you. When taking baths or doing something that makes you feel good just say "As I am doing this, this is how I treat you." Make up some positive statments. You can help this part deal with the paiin it hold with out being connected. We told one person to hold a doll or stuffie and think of the part that was in so much pain. Then say to the doll and part as I love this..... I love, accept you, and thank you for caring the pain that I was not able to bare my self. This is where if you can see that this part is a valuble yet seperat till that part has heal from the extrem pain that joining is so much easier and softer.

((((Anderson))))


Thank you for the words for the healing time. I can see me/us doing this and I can let you know how this layer of the onions skin looks sitting on the ground...no longer wrapped around me like a vice.

To be believed and believe. Thanks to those who believe me, thanks to myself for believing me. Thanks, Anderson to you for believing me.

Love,
Hunny




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Thank you for the words for the healing time. I can see me/us doing this and I can let you know how this layer of the onions skin looks sitting on the ground...no longer wrapped around me like a vice.

((((Hunny)))) That is much like what our Nana would say. There were times that we were crying as a child that she would come up to us and asked if we were done peeling the onions. We would look at her wiping the tears from our eyes asking what she was talking about. That was when she told us. When we are taking out the bad reeds in our inner baskets that is very much like peeling an onion. When you cut into it the smell will make you cry and hurts like heck but the end results tast so much better for the tears. We Hope that which we make after peeling all these onions is well worth all these tears my wister in spirit,

((((((((((Anderson)))))))))))

My thought is that you were amazingly beautiful, in your inner spirit before all these atrocities of your childhood and even in this day. We honour your Nana, for her incredible wisdom and thank her for helping you to help yourself to keep safe while removing each reed. The protection, comfort and love she gave to you extends to all of us here too. It is too wonderful for me!!!!

Love,
Hunny

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Sky,

Thank you for the hugs and for this. It is good to be reminded to pace ourself/ves. I really like the question to ask our alter: "Is it okay to know?". It kind of shows a respect for that part that I/we kind of had on the edge of our honeycomb and is not intrusive into their life.

That was then and this is now is kind of a quote/mantra we use frequently, too and am grateful for your reminder with these obvious worried /fearful parts around these pain issues. (a recent experience brought us to the rembrance of the pain issues).

A smoother lifestyle is also for me/us a lifestyle of perspective attached to it...time and distance being important aspects albeit perhaps not or never fully integrated these two aspects create an ability to harmonize gently.

Safety in the present is so important for me/us or my 'pain' part would keep getting re-injured and working on internal healing be made impossible. I/we have secured the most safe situation than ever before in our life/ves. My/our life remains in flux however and therefore safety may change at any given time, although we look at that like it could be for anyone.

The picutre of our pain now looks quite different than what it originally appeared to us when we first drew her. Due to the nature of the part she will always look painful but how can I express except to say with therapy she now looks less painful.

It appears that Sky's ability to 'see' or 'get it' exists despite other obstacles.

Thanks again .

Love,
Hunny

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Dear Hunny,

I have nothing of advice to offer you, but just wanted to let you know that I'm listening and sending you love and light.

Peace to you and the hive,
kp