Lost

I can't find "adult" help within me. I need to ask people on the outside to help me with something, coping with triggered feelings. But they cannot see that I am little and need guidance because I look very grown up. How do you explain that to people, that I may look grown up, but am really very young and scared? I want someone to take care of me, but in reality I am an adult who should know what to do. I am the orphan because I am all alone. I don't want to be abandoned again, but I don't feel like I should exist because I should be grown up, I am ashamed.

Thank you for listening to me.

Hi Complic8d.......
It is hard for me sometimes to have an adult present...So..I think I understand if not hugs if its okay

(((((compli8d)))))
This was hard on us to when we first moved to this town we came to find refuge. The hard part was that DID was no accepted nor was the way we had dealt with it in the past. But when pushed come to shove it was my earlier training that saved our lives and got us back to gether again. The fact that their are people around us that like to go tell tails of black gossip did stop us from healing for a little while but when we found a safe place for our son. We no longer had to endure the Bs of self centered people.
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The reason That I am saying this is because we had to break the silence. We finely had to go to certain people that we had learned to trust and say "Ha, I need help from you and this is what I/WE need you to do." This was not an easy choice and yes we did find out that we did trust to easily at times. But if it had not been for the ones that held my younger parts and surproted them like their own children. I do not honestly know what would have happened to us.
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When we first found the group of people that accepted us we had to go to them and tell them. That you may not understand this but when I was a kid I was serverly abuse by my family and their friends. There are times that those memiors are so strong that I start acting like I am a child again. I need you to help me by showing this part of me that it is worthy of love and acceptance. The adult in me may not remember but as this part learns that it is safe. Then the memiors of you allowing that part to know more then violence and abuse. It will start blending with me. This is how We can heal from the abuse that no one want to accept but is real to us.
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We may still have to relearn trust these people over again but it was still because of them and the memiors that they gave my young alters that kept us here and help us to heal from those that would hurt us to keep us slave to a rumar instead of helping us to heal.

Hey, small peoples inside Complic8d, it is so good to read and see you. I am not sure where your adult has gone but you you surely are not lost...maybe just misplaced. I have talked to an adult Complic8d before and I know she would probably like to talk to you but it just will take some time. You have gotten triggered you say and you want someone to look after you. Can you post here again, soon?

Kasva and Anderson are so 'spot on'. It is hard and will take some time to trust but I'm pretty sure you can find your adult help soon, inside and out. Also, it probably helps to have your caring family around but it might take a bit more time to really get them 'in on' the whole picture and for that trust to take place. In the in-between time there are lots of adults here who can maybe help you figure out the 'triggers' a bit.

Thanks for typing and for bringing yourselves here.

Hunny

(((((kasva)))) ((((((anderson))))) (((((Hunny)))))

Thank you for responding. I'm a little embarassed of the above post. I don't really like my parts sharing their thoughts and feelings. Abandonment is obviously a huge issue for me. The "orphan" really felt like she was all alone and no one would want to love her, and if they did it wouldn't last. Things in real life are playing this out right now, so I am having a hard time. Thank you all so much for your support and acceptance. It means so much to all of me. I have therapy shortly and will try to address this. I'm still afraid of what t will think. Acceptance is huge and ..... ok, not needing to feel triggered too much right now, so I am going to stop.
Thank you all, Love to you all!