Noise?

Does it ever get so so so so so noisy in your head? Today in therapy, I know T and I were getting really close to something - something that would push me towards more healing - and it got SO loud in my head that I couldn't go on. It's voices, but I can't pick anything out. Like a crowd at a baseball game or a party or something. It makes me strain and strain and strain to hear, and it gives me a horrible headache.

And how do you get it to quiet down? T and I moved to sit on the floor and something about that shift quieted things down. But I kind of think maybe we just got lucky.

Blah.

yes this used to happen to me. I would not be able to make out any words so my therapist would hand me the box of crayons and a pad of paper and say draw what its like and I would draw. and as I went along we talked about what I was drawing and writing. eventually she was able to make sense of what she was seeing and know what my internal chatter was trying to say. then we knew what steps we had to take in order to quiet things down.

I am sorry about the nose I know we can get reall loud. I think it should become wight noise just like at school or in a crowed. It might become better but I reall dont know. We wish you the best. Hope it gets better for you.

Firefly

((((treehouse))))

Thank you for posting and I am so sorry you are going through this at this time. I can answer that there are times when things get so loud within my head that it hurts and I cannot hear anything else. At times it gets to the point where they step in front of my eyes and I cannot see. When things get so loud at times the others are seeming to push foreward and there is a pressure in my head that really hurts and until either I, my friend, or my t ask them to step back and that they will be heard too they almost seem to almost break out through my head.

Whenever I get really close to something that is really scary and hard for all within to face sometimes they will push as it is also them facing the memory. Sometimes they need to feel safe and if they do not they are pushing and being loud to get me to listen and hear them. So many times when I used to deny that they were present or existed (back when I was trying to have anything but DID) and I would say they did not exist, my head would become so chaotic and loud from those within letting me know they were there and were not going anywhere, and until I stopped denying them and accepted that they were there the noise did not stop.

When we get close to something and it is something we have not talked about before sometimes it gets very loud almost as if they are not wanting me to go there or they are not feeling safe and are afraid to let anyone know. It sometimes has to do with the threats we received back then and if they feel we will be in trouble or hurt they will become very loud almost as if sounding off a warning that lets me know they are not feeling safe. If I try to talk with them and allow them to let me know what they are feeling then many times it calms down.

I know that for me there is now a difference as to what it used to be when I first knew I had DID, now there is communication within and those within feel safer and know who we are talking to. Before there was no safety and they did not trust or believe we were safe. The headaches were and are very real. Sometimes I still get headaches when we are approaching something that is very hard and when we have never talked about it with anyone. I think they are just protecting us all and many times protecting the system.

For so long that was what they did and they took what I could not so to continue to protect me and what they held they would do what they needed to do to keep us safe. What to do about the headaches I am not sure. Getting to the point that I could communicate within and ask them to step back, to assure them we were okay, and telling them they would be heard too helped. I know there was and still is nothing I can take to stop the pain for it is not a headache that medication can help.

Try to breath hon and know that you are not alone in this. Know that we are here and listening. Listen to yourself and trust yourself and your system. They need to have that safety and feeling of being heard too. I know it is hard and those headaches really hurt and are real. Hope you will keep us posted in how you are doing. Know we care and are here for you.

Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

((((Treehouse))))

I am sorry things are noisy for you right now. Yes it does get awfully noisy in here for us too. Please know that you are not alone. Sometimes we just have to let things be and they work themselves out and quiet down. Please take care of yourself, all of you.

Faith

Hi Treehouse,

Yep, it gets noisy sometimes. I call it living with a committee of diverse people of different ages, jobs, issues IN THE DARK. All the voices and nothing to see to help us. It was necessary back then, bummer now. I spent tons of energy trying to keep the inner folks quiet and "normal" around my spouse (yea, like that worked so good)

As the host I blew off my insiders for a long time and just tried to live for me. That WAS REALLY BAD AND MADE FOR LOTS OF DRAMA AND BAD EXPERIENCES. So....

I finally began to "talk to my head". I try not to slip up in public, as I already have enough labels and can do without anymore. Once I began to listen, then I began to understand and feel and then to care. We get along better now and I really want to know them and get them all the care they need.

I can talk for ever but I had a tornado kind of session with my T today. Lots of wind, noise and debris - but it all came out alright in the end.

Communication is VERY crucial to achieving a peaceful life

Leslie the Host for Multipixie9

Hi treehouse,
when we are scared or facing somthing that effects the whole we still have a loud inner debat. but now that most of us are listen to we have it chilled out some. When we first started getting others to work together we used drawings and journaling to help those within to work together. We hope things calm down for you. just know that we be sitting with you and all within.

yeah, it's happened to me before, when more then 3 voices myself included start talking in my head at once my brain starts to hurt @_@