[kimmydawn]

i have so much shame with my increasing awareness and knowledge as my life is opening up to me and memories given. so much shame. i don't know what to do.

i can barely look at the people who think that they know me (hubby included).

kd

[Monty_girl]

Kd, all I can give you is my hugs and Love and let you know you did nothing wrong. Shame is a hard feeling to deal with. Is something like denial, keeps coming back around again. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You didn't choose to be abused or become DID. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Ok? I know it's hard to believe from time to time. Because you say, "if I had only done this, then it wouldn't of happened". But you shouldn't of been put in what ever situation it was to have to say the what if's. None of this is your fault. And no one blames you for what happened. You did the best that you could do in that situation. (Damn I've heard this speach from my T so many times I'm almost repeating him word for word here ) But KD, I care and love ya and we are all here for you. We are thinking about you and let us know if you need anything.
Love Ya's, Monty

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))))

thank you. i love you too.

kd

[Mahali]

kd,

I hear what you are saying. To you it is new. As new as the day you found out. It is a fresh pain. People can't understand how a person can feel such intensity from something that happened "so long ago". But it's not so long ago when the information is new.

I wish I had a magic answer to make it go away. The best I can offer is that it will get less as the time passes. As you talk to T it will get less.

Monty is absolutely right in that you have no reason for shame. None. That doesn't make it go away I know but it is the truth.

You face these people as you always have with strength and bravery. Secure in the knowledge that you are a survivor in the greatest sense of the word.

Take care kd.

Always here for you.

place

[shadowdancer]

i know these feelings well...and i'm sorry that you have to know it too. (((((((((kd)))))))))

if you ever need to talk, kd, i am always here. and i will help remind you that you have nothing to be ashamed of. take care and stay safe.

-shadow

((((((((kimmydawn)))))))

Sorry you are feeling so bad. Don't be ashamed of yourself; we know you are great!

Caroline

{{{{{ kimmy }}}}}

I'm sorry you are feeling this.

Shame is a tough one to deal with.

There is healthy shame and there is toxic shame.

I wear my toxic shame like a cloak.

You can read more at:

http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/tshame.html

Hope you find peace.

Petunia

(I fixed the link, it didn't work before)

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((((((( Kimmy ))))))))))))))))))))))))

I think Monty says it perfectly. You never asked for abuse to happen to you, and you were a child, you couldn't fight against it, and the only way to cope was to become DID, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's the abusers who should feel the shame for doing what they did. Unfortunately you had to bear the brunt of their own failings, but that doesn't make you any worse as a person, instead it makes you stronger since you came through it and survived.

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you (((((((((((((((((((kimmy))))))))))))))))))))
Be safe,
Fuzzy

[Gemstone]

((((((Kimmy))))))

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I feel a lot of shame too.

Take care of yourself. I care.

((((((((((((kimmy))))))))))))
this is a difficult one. i don't know what to do with it either, except talk about it and let it go little by little. be gentle with yourself as you deal with it. you are not to blame for anything that happened or anything you did or didn't do. just be gentle and be safe. deedee is offering her new yellow blanket and stuffie if you need it. she also give you a hug because she knows you are sad. Vicki says hang in there. your are very special to all of us.
w_i

[kimmydawn]

thank you so much everyone. the lifting of denial bites. there's so much i see. there's so much that i don't want to see.

the shame is from subsequent actions. i see it all...

thank you again. you all mean so much to me.

kd

[misty]

((((((kimmy)))))))

larks

[kimmydawn]

ty (((((((((((((larks))))))))))))))

i'm finally on my way back it seems.

kd