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  #1  
Old Oct 11, 2010, 04:30 PM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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Having a very hard time holding on. I watched a movie last night that was very triggering. Since then those inside have been in turmoil and someone inside is in distress. Focussing and staying present are becoming extremely difficult.
Having dizzyness, nausea, dreamlike world, & headache. Not to mention the feeling of emotional pressure and anxiety.
I don't know if this is making any sense, but I am very sleepy and cannot lay down yet. Too much to do. I am weary adn feeling very alone, atm.
I feel like I am about to explode from the inside out.
JACOB will not let me talk to anyone.
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  #2  
Old Oct 11, 2010, 04:53 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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(((((((( Nupoet )))))))))

Can you use your best grounding/coping skills. Sometimes it helps to ground yourself by touching objects around you. Touch the fridge, worktop, sink, etc.

Remind all of you that you are safe now, write it on a post-it note in bold letters and stick it on the wall, door etc.
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  #3  
Old Oct 11, 2010, 05:16 PM
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purple_fins purple_fins is offline
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Nupoet

Sorry a movie upset you.... ugh... I so relate to that. (happens to me so much)
It's very hard to find the ground then.

Please try and take some time to calm the insides.

peace to you

fins
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need some support, plz
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  #4  
Old Oct 11, 2010, 05:33 PM
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JustAPixie JustAPixie is offline
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(((( Nupoet )))

I do not know enough to give you real advice, but I'm thinking of you and hoping that you can find some calm in the storm.
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  #5  
Old Oct 11, 2010, 06:47 PM
Anonymous43209
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  #6  
Old Oct 11, 2010, 06:51 PM
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Hunny Hunny is offline
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((((Nupoet))))

A holding pattern is very familiar to me.

I really like what Pegasus said, a nice cold drink of water might help too. Sometimes there are figuring out times and they are pretty confusing but they help down the road in sorting stuff out. In meantime know you are not alone.

Hunny


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nupoet64 View Post
Having a very hard time holding on. I watched a movie last night that was very triggering. Since then those inside have been in turmoil and someone inside is in distress. Focussing and staying present are becoming extremely difficult.
Having dizzyness, nausea, dreamlike world, & headache. Not to mention the feeling of emotional pressure and anxiety.
I don't know if this is making any sense, but I am very sleepy and cannot lay down yet. Too much to do. I am weary adn feeling very alone, atm.
I feel like I am about to explode from the inside out.
JACOB will not let me talk to anyone.
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“Science without religion is lame.
Religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein

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Nupoet64
  #7  
Old Oct 12, 2010, 04:46 AM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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TY all for the words of advice, the hugs and the hope. After the second Ativan and hubby coming home with hugs of safety, I sat and looked at it.
1. movie was trigger
2. movie was about SA to a small girl
3. movie was about a mother blaming the small girl
4. movie was about incest
5. who inside went thru these things? Holds the trauma?
6. Little Girl is in distress. ( she is 3)
7. watched another movie ( since that is what started it).
8. watched The Secret Garden and gave her snacks
9. Little Girl still upset, but not in distress

We are feeling better. There was a switch last night when I was supposed to be asleep. The body is very tired. But the talking is what woke me. I almost fell off the bed trying to roll over. It was Little Girl. She layed me down on my side of the bed, but there was only room there for a Little Girl, lol. I had to hold the side of the bed to keep from falling off. Hubby in middle of the bed, only does that when I get out of bed....looking for me in his sleep. Now I get to hunt for the colored pictures in the coloring book, or the drawing or new poem.... Whatever she did while I was asleep. Maybe she watched her movie again. Idk.
Thank you guys so much, you are very helpful...my friends.
We have T today, so hopefully we can find some calm. But it is MUCH better than yesterday. Much graditude and support.
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....the axe soon forgets, but the tree remembers forever... (Chinese fortune cookie)
  #8  
Old Oct 12, 2010, 10:10 AM
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Hunny Hunny is offline
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Nupoet,

What a fine list you have made hopefully to help sort stuffs out. I do lists, more in my head now. Here is hoping that this type of experience can be used as a bit of a spring board in your therapy today or down the road. Thankfully, you were able to make safety happen for yourselves. Hunny used her glasses this morning getting up as it appeared we were starting down the worry road. There is possibly something pretty big coming up in our life, in a good way tomorrow so with the anticipation there is some anxiety.

We did used ativan in the beginning too, but once took two b/c we thought one was not working and oh, oh, we 'splat' were out for hours and it was our friends birthday She drove us around the beach and to the icecream store and we were entirely asleep the whole time, lol But at the right time they can help somewhat.

Mostly we had to make a 'safe' place...we loved those safe places and continue to make 'new' ones which work most of the time...one of favourites was a walk through a flower garden with lots of colours and scents and white benches to sit upon.
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“Science without religion is lame.
Religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein

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Nupoet64
  #9  
Old Oct 12, 2010, 01:30 PM
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justdontknow justdontknow is offline
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Nupoet,

I hope you are doing better after your terrible ordeal with the movie. Just know that we are here for your support as you have been there for ours. Lots of safe hugs, warm fuzzies and positive thoughts from the Hotel.

Cris and the Hotel
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Nupoet64
  #10  
Old Oct 12, 2010, 05:03 PM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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Thanks everyone. I had T today. We talked about all of this and other stuff. Little Girl is calmer now. I wish she would talk and tell me her name. She has only said one thing to me in all the time I have known of her (25 years I have known of her)...that was "Momma!" She yelled that when she saw someone that looked like Mom after Mom passed away. It was a very hard time for her.
I am blessed to ahve found this sight and all the wonderful people here...thank you all so much...

Hunny, my Ativan is only 0.5 mg...very low dose. But the anxiety was so bad, it did not make us even a little sleepy....just reduced the anxiety to a managable level. We were too anxious to even meditate or clear our minds or anything, it was really bad. Little Girl was hysterical.
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....the axe soon forgets, but the tree remembers forever... (Chinese fortune cookie)
  #11  
Old Oct 12, 2010, 05:52 PM
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invisigirl invisigirl is offline
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glad to hear things have calmed down. been there myself a time or two...
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need some support, plz
wife. mom. swimmer. writer.
trying to live life in spite of depression, dissociation, and PTSD.
member of a club that no one wants to join...
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  #12  
Old Oct 12, 2010, 09:43 PM
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DancingAlone DancingAlone is offline
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dear nupoet64 (a "jewel" of a gal ),
i'm so sorry to hear about your reaction to the movie. personally, i just can't watch movies anymore, haven't in years. they are what you say, triggery. you may be over it by now, i am so very late posting anything these days (computer damage, etc.). anyway, this is an excerpt from one of dear dps's chat outlines about "creating safety" that i hope may help you my dear. take care, you are loved.

[begin quote]

(5.) Establish A Protective Procedure

(a.) Calming Music
(b.) Candles
(c.) Safe Objects (a stone, flowers, stuffies, something given to you by a safe person in the past or present)
(d.) Special pillow
(e.) Comfort Clothes---Soft fuzzy blanket
(f.) Pictures
(g.) Sitting area (rug, chair, things that make you feel safe or the little’s feel safe)

[end quote]

wishing you all the best today. take care.

always
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Nupoet64
  #13  
Old Oct 13, 2010, 01:08 AM
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Hunny Hunny is offline
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Nupoet, Thank you for letting us know how you are doing after the appointment. Your Little Girl sounds so lovely...we have one not talking with words to muuuch to this day, well only a few words we must admit and the baby doesn't really say words but that is okay too. Say Hi.
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“Science without religion is lame.
Religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein

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Nupoet64
  #14  
Old Oct 13, 2010, 11:09 AM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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Location: Texas
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We are doing much better, today... TY ALL!! Trinity, ty for the tips and kind words.
Little Girl gave me her name....Jean....she is Little Jean. We are calmer now. She still doesn't talk, but she gave me her name, finally.

Everyone here is so kind, ty all for the hugs and fuzzies...I LOVE fuzzies.
I have a fave chair, fuzzie PJ pants, fuzzie blanket, fuzzie stuffed animal, fuzzie hubby, lol. I LOVE fuzzies.

Today is much better and Little Jean is back to her normal level offear...she carries the fear for us. Poor thing is so tiny.

Much love and hugs to my wonderful friends here...
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....the axe soon forgets, but the tree remembers forever... (Chinese fortune cookie)
  #15  
Old Oct 13, 2010, 01:56 PM
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justdontknow justdontknow is offline
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(((Nupoet)))

This is wonderful news. Hi Little Jean. It is nice to know your name. More fuzzies to you Nupoet (we have PLENTY to spare at the Hotel).

Cris
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Nupoet64
  #16  
Old Oct 16, 2010, 08:30 AM
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krazy_phoenix krazy_phoenix is offline
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(((((((((((nupoet)))))))))))))
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- Ned Kelly
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  #17  
Old Oct 20, 2010, 03:38 AM
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Rhiannonsmoon Rhiannonsmoon is offline
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We have always supported you Nupoet, always and that will not stop. I hope that you feel much better soon
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Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you
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Nupoet64
  #18  
Old Oct 21, 2010, 10:33 PM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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Thank you all...you all mean so much to us....many hugs...
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....the axe soon forgets, but the tree remembers forever... (Chinese fortune cookie)
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