[Twisted_Soul]

I should have known that after a few days of feeling clear and feeling a bit more hopeful that in the end it would all go away. The Monster is really doing all things possible to sabotage anything good in my head. I am starting to believe that the meds I am taking are poisoning me and that in due time the Monster will kill me.
The Little girl is so scared. She needs to be validated but isn't getting anyone to help protect her right now and I am not able to because I am battling the Monster.
I wish all three of us could just go away!!!

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))


Please hang in there..... my MONSTER got bigger before I was able to shrink it down to its true size - years of counseling to integrate ME (and them) back to one.

YOU are the one that must show the little one that she is safe and protected.... remember she is there (was created) to keep you safe - now it is your turn to make her feel that security is now hers to have.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Do YOU ever talk to HER? - comfort her?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[kimmydawn]

Soul,

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. When do you see t again. Can you call?

I've never dealt with anything similar to what you're explaining. I wish I had more.

Can you call t?

kd

[Twisted_Soul]

?????????????? How do I protect her????????????????? I am the one who let her get hurt in the first place!!!!!!!!

I tried several times to contact T yesterday. No reponse as of yet.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

((((TS)))))))))))))

Try to remember that the little girl was created by you to protect you. Her feelings and actions are based upon a little girls perspective doing an adult job. If you can, while you're trying to get a hold of T, compartmentalize everyone, tell the little one if you can, even if it's repeating the words to yourself, that you have not forgotten about her, that you will do what you can to keep her safe - hang in there - I wish I had more for you. Kind of fighting the monster myself right now.

Hugs - Anne

[Rhapsody]

No - Sweety.... she came into your life because YOU got HURT.... she was created to protect YOU.... she holds your fears & wounds from the past.

You can protect HER now - by talking to her, comforting her with gentle words and a hug, let her know that she is safe now and that the past abuse will not happen again.... that she is safe to feel and to cry as she needs. She will not leave (or integrate) until she can feel and know that you will OK without her there to still protect you from hurting.

YOU and the ALTERS are BEAUTIFUL together..................................

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Rhapsody]

P.S.

Create her a SAFE PLACE (with in your mind - visualize it) where she can go to when she feels scared or unsafe - let her know that no HARM will ever come to her when she goes there....

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Gemstone]

{{{{{{ Twisted Soul }}}}}}}

[kimmydawn]

After coming back and reading, and waking up some , I think that I understand...

At times like this it's really important to remember that whoever is there is there for a reason. Monster might carry the pain and hate associated with past. I really don't know, but can you ask inside what it is the "monster" feels is needed right now?

(((((((((((soul)))))))))))

be safe,

kd

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

Can YOU create a SAFE PLACE (room) for her to go into when she feels scared or unsafe.... a place where no HARM will come to her (or you) when she is there.
My room was in an old Victorian House, the room was so pleasant and warm with lots of toys, dolls, cars, lace & ruffles and millions and millions of paper for coloring.... the bed was big enough for all my kids to crawl up on together, for safety.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Twisted_Soul]

Safe place...yeah. Sometimes I forget that in T did an exercise about a place I enjoyed being at. It was the Pacific Coast in Oregon. I will try to use that to help ease the situation.
I have a hard time understanding the Monster, Little Girl and my the adult are all one and all connected because it makes me feel very disconnected!!

Keeping safe at the moment!

[hillbunnyb]

Everybody has given such good advice, I just want you to know I'm here caring, too.

[January]

((((((((((((((( Twisted Soul )))))))))))))

Many, many hugs,

Jan

[Twisted_Soul]

This is how my intense self hate grows...
My T did call. And I was a moron. And I acted like a baby.
I hung up on her when she said she meant to call me back but got busy and forgot.
Then I texted her to cancel my next appt and also said I couldn't reschedule. And, I told her to TEXT me only to confirm she got the message.

She of course did phone me right back then. Had a difficult time verbalizing all the feelings I was feeling because basically I just felt like I have all my life >>> I am unimportant and worthless.

Dammit. I am really no use.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

sorrry, didn't mean to confuse anyone. I guess I'll just be quiet.

[Twisted_Soul]

((((ANNE))))
You didn't confuse me. I got a head that does that all on it's own.

[Rhapsody]

Dear Twisted Soul,

Have you found your little one a SAFE PLACE yet.... if so, will you describe it to me - I would love to hear about it.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Twisted_Soul]

My safe place is very quiet and breezy and cool. It is me sitting on a bunch of large rocks on the beach of the Oregon Coast. (I had gone there as a teenager and remember to this day how peaceful it was for me.)
If I close my eyes I can go back there and feel release of the Monster, the little girl feels so protected.

[Rhapsody]

That is good to hear..... thanks for sharing your SAFE place with me (i love the beach and the sound of the water hitting up against the rocks).

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> May I ask what her name is?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Twisted_Soul]

I just call her Little and then my name. It isn't like she has a different name, it is me.

[Rhapsody]

YES.... she is YOU - I was just wondering for some of my little ones and bigger ones wanted their own names, but that's KEWL.... little one she shall be.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[wanttoheal]

((((((((twisted soul)))))))) Im sorry that i do not understand but i hope you feel better soon. im sorry you are so angry. maybe you can do some drawing or something to feel better.

[Lexicon78]

If this little girl was small, where were the parents? It's their job to protect her! You were her, of course, and you needed protected.

I'm so sorry you are struggling so much.

[Evangelista]

Monsters are so scary !!!! You are brave to fight it for your Little Girl...hopefully she will know that you are trying to protect her..although she must feel very alne and scared..you are doing your best..B safe inside out..

[(JD)]

I hope your T didn't let you cancel. IMO Ts who work with those who are DID expect to be "hung up on" from time to time.

I hope the Monster will soon be able to share why the monster actions... and agree that you seem to be doing a good job of protecting your Little Girl while battling the monster. Maybe that's what the monster feels she is doing, and is misunderstood because of the monster actions?

How are you doing today?