[Darbypar]

Yesterday, I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with DID and prescribed Ambiral. I finally accepted that there is a voice in my head that tells me to do bad things to myself and my family. I always thought I had an overactive imagination... I drew a picture of this other person in my head and I almost threw up when I was finished. My husband was quite alarmed especially when I told him that she often tells me to harm our young daughter.

Now, I'm not allowed to drive, be alone, have my credit cards or even know where my medicine is. If I have a headache (which is constantly) I have to show my hubby how many I take. I understand this is for my own good and for the kids, but I hate not having control over anything!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Darbypar

Yesterday, I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with DID and prescribed Ambiral. I finally accepted that there is a voice in my head that tells me to do bad things to myself and my family. I always thought I had an overactive imagination... I drew a picture of this other person in my head and I almost threw up when I was finished. My husband was quite alarmed especially when I told him that she often tells me to harm our young daughter.

Now, I'm not allowed to drive, be alone, have my credit cards or even know where my medicine is. If I have a headache (which is constantly) I have to show my hubby how many I take. I understand this is for my own good and for the kids, but I hate not having control over anything!

Im a bit confused I have never heard of that medication. so I just called my pharmacist. he says he hasnt heard of anything with that spelling the closest he could come to was ambral which here that medication is sold under the name Metronidazole which is an antibiotic. Antibiotics dont work for mentla disorders they are for bacterial infections.

when I did an internet search for the drug under your spelling there was nothing anywhere online about such a drug. usually when a new drug comes out there is a website for that medication telling what it is, whats in it, recommended dosages its marketed in, color of pill, or liquid, precautions, adverse affects, and where to buy it. So now Im even more concerned.

as far as I know (from having DID, Dissociative disorders and from working in mental health as a therapist for a hospital and crisis center) there is no medication for DID. there is medication that will help with PTSD symptoms (anxeity, depression, stress, ...) that some people with DID have. these medications are antidepressants, antianxiety, and antipsychotics.

maybe you can tell us about this medication and where we can find information about it.

Im sorry that you have DID and have violent alters which have caused your family and treatment providers to put such limitations upon you. keep working with your treatment providers, in time maybe you and they will be able to get your violent alters co operation with being safe.

welcome to psych central.

[dazeofdolphins]

Interesting. You sound so "normal" to me within the scope of DID. My friend has DID with constant headaches. Her doctors inject her head with Botox every couple of months and that seems to help a lot. She also has restrictions placed on her driving, meds, and knives. She is still getting to know her altars and she is learning how to be safe with herself and others. What has helped her the most is finding a T who specializes in DID in addition to having doctors who actively work as a team with the T. Meds have not seemed to address her diagnosis, only her symptoms such as extreme anxiety and sleep problems. I suggest doing some research to get a good team on board to help you. If you can afford therapy 2-3 times a week, that may help, too. Hang in there and stay strong. You can get better with the right support system in place

[darpsych]

\i have DID and have met/know many and none of us have those kids of restrictions. hope this helps.

Originally Posted by Darbypar

Yesterday, I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with DID and prescribed Ambiral. I finally accepted that there is a voice in my head that tells me to do bad things to myself and my family. I always thought I had an overactive imagination... I drew a picture of this other person in my head and I almost threw up when I was finished. My husband was quite alarmed especially when I told him that she often tells me to harm our young daughter.

Now, I'm not allowed to drive, be alone, have my credit cards or even know where my medicine is. If I have a headache (which is constantly) I have to show my hubby how many I take. I understand this is for my own good and for the kids, but I hate not having control over anything!

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Darbypar

Yesterday, I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with DID and prescribed Ambiral. I finally accepted that there is a voice in my head that tells me to do bad things to myself and my family. I always thought I had an overactive imagination... I drew a picture of this other person in my head and I almost threw up when I was finished. My husband was quite alarmed especially when I told him that she often tells me to harm our young daughter.

Now, I'm not allowed to drive, be alone, have my credit cards or even know where my medicine is. If I have a headache (which is constantly) I have to show my hubby how many I take. I understand this is for my own good and for the kids, but I hate not having control over anything!

You did the right thing telling your husband about your thoughts. It is good to have someone on your side. Maybe by sharing your thoughts with your therapist it will enable you to work with your alters. I am somewhat new to my diagnosis but it has eased my mind. It has helped me to recognize that what was a cluster of conflicting and confusing thoughts is actually alters communicating with one another. Now, you may be able to work with them by getting to know them. Take your time and don't worry about the label. We are all different and work with our alters in different ways. One thing I did find is that my ability to work with my alters is the result of the anti anxiety and anti depressant medication I am taking. When I go without for a day or two I start to think at a hundred miles per hour and get stuck, nothings gets done. I hope this helped Take your time,

[Nammu]

((((((Darbypar))))))

When I was first diaganosed I had confused thoughts/pictures/images of my only daughter. I told my T I could "see" me doing things to her but it was not possible for {me} to do those things as I was not physically built that way. They took this very seriously as they should!! -----to make sure she was safe----It was only a short time--weeks/months of therapy for me before they figured out very quickly what was going on.

(not me--it took me much longer to understand--I fought the process--(I just wanted the world to stop spinning and let me off---too much lost time--too many crazy mixed up dates and people and places were out of my control)

It took time and communication with what I came to understand was my "alters" who held the memories to get the full picture. It was not {me} doing things but my abuser--it was not real, it only seemed that way-I was relieving/reliving/flashing the past. I can not say that this is what you are experiencing! We are all different-As unique individual groups, as individuals, as our experences and our pesent, our futures are all completely and uniquely our own.

My daughter looked exactly as I did at 1 1/2 until puberty, then she changed into her own very beautiful self. If you put my black and white photo next to her color photo and we looked like twins as you could not see that my hair was audburn not copper red and my eyes brown not blue. Twins 24 and a half years apart. Memories were bleeding though and I wasn't crazy--I wasn't going to hurt her, I lucked into good a T and P-doc who understood what was going on. I thought I was going crazy and was going to hurt my daughter-I never did. But they made sure by makeing sure we were both safe those first few weeks/months(?) I can never be sure of time. It did not seem long to me-I wanted her safe, so their insistance that I would not harm her puzzled me as they were sure long before I was. But they understood what DID was, and I was refusing to accept it, I just wanted them to stop the crazy-help me get my absolute control back-yeah I was a control freak, everything had a place, and everything had a place!!Thats how I kept my world safe, though my childhood--I could not sleep unless I was excatly in the center of the bed, my head between the two pillows, the covers complety smooth so that I was "invisible" and I had to fall asleep befor the lights went out or else I had to stay awake all night-----then it all went insane and strangers insisted they knew me, I "woke" up in strange places, dressed in clothes I would not be caught dead in-"suits and heels" "pink" someones bed!

But I did have to learn to trust the T and P-doc, learn to communicate, with my alters-(not something I wanted to do-I just wanted them to go away)-I will not say I was the best client/alter-I didn't like being DID, I just wanted a "normal" (what is normal-after such a beginning?) life.

It does get better. All of us here(in the PC---PsychCentral world) are different, I'm now intergrated-my life is not prefect-but it is so much better than it once was. For me it was hard work. It was all such a strange concept--I'm still learning!! Some here are not, some are working to be intergrated, some are not and are working/ learning to live as a group.

PC is the one place tolerance is not a dirty word, nor is acceptance. People have dissagreements but that is ok. It is ok to be who you are believe what you believe but allow everyone the same right. This is a good place to come.

I had entered this, then I was going to add a bit about medicine and it went blooy. So if this is a 2nd post, I apologize-it went back to some early pre-edited version-I'm very bad at typing.

About medicine, My alters had different reactions, I'm not sure if now-as intergrated I'm allergic to PNC or not but my P-doc said better safe than sorry. My safe docs went with very little meds, back then it was klonopin and valium and sleeping pills. Other P-docs tried to medicate alters into submission with every psych drug available, leaving me a zombie, w/ a lot of medical problems. Currently when things get difficult I use a beta-blocker like propranolol, it works very well for me.

May today be a bit better than yesterday. Learn a little bit more each day, and if you forget--thats ok, you can learn again tomorrow!

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Im a bit confused I have never heard of that medication. so I just called my pharmacist. he says he hasnt heard of anything with that spelling the closest he could come to was ambral which here that medication is sold under the name Metronidazole which is an antibiotic. Antibiotics dont work for mentla disorders they are for bacterial infections.

when I did an internet search for the drug under your spelling there was nothing anywhere online about such a drug. usually when a new drug comes out there is a website for that medication telling what it is, whats in it, recommended dosages its marketed in, color of pill, or liquid, precautions, adverse affects, and where to buy it. So now Im even more concerned.

as far as I know (from having DID, Dissociative disorders and from working in mental health as a therapist for a hospital and crisis center) there is no medication for DID. there is medication that will help with PTSD symptoms (anxeity, depression, stress, ...) that some people with DID have. these medications are antidepressants, antianxiety, and antipsychotics.

maybe you can tell us about this medication and where we can find information about it.

Im sorry that you have DID and have violent alters which have caused your family and treatment providers to put such limitations upon you. keep working with your treatment providers, in time maybe you and they will be able to get your violent alters co operation with being safe.

welcome to psych central.

My first thought was sodium amytal, which is a barbituate. It's the "truth serum". It was used in the old days for DID. It may be used to procure diagnostically—or therapeutically—vital information, and to provide patients with a functional respite from catatonia and mania.

It goes by amobarbital, also.

It's been taken off the market a good bit as it's been known to create false memories.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

My first thought was sodium amytal, which is a barbituate. It's the "truth serum". It was used in the old days for DID. It may be used to procure diagnostically—or therapeutically—vital information, and to provide patients with a functional respite from catatonia and mania.

It goes by amobarbital, also.

It's been taken off the market a good bit as it's been known to create false memories.

Yes Ive heard of "sodium amytal"

Yes some countries no longer have it on the market but here in america it is still available as an IV medication for many things..

it isnt and wasnt used as a treatment for DID. sometimes the courts will order a victim who has DID to be given it to find out if their DID is real or therapeutically induced in cases where the victims are prosecuting their abusers. Sometimes inpatient mental health providers will use it on their DID patients to see if the patient does have DID, or a patent (with any mental disorder not just DID) needs help in remembering their past.

it was (and still is) used for inducing hypnotic relaxation for uncovering repressed memories.

it was also used for helping witnesses of crimes recall forgotten details of crimes. It is still prescribed and used in America (USA) for sedation, sleep aid, control epileptic seizures, hypnotic, Antidepressant, pre surgery sedative, sedative for medical procedures example sometimes this is whats given before ECT treatments, gastro-esophageal procedures, brain surgery where they need the patient to be awake during surgery but feeling no pain, anxiety...

sodium amytal also helps in criminal cases. This medication is still very much in use in America (USA)

I think I just messed up my wording a little. It is used for repressed memories and DID is about repressed memories. Therefore it is used for DID??

Sometimes I get really offended by your responses to things. Like you try to be the therapist here, but I'm not looking for therapists, I have one. I'm also not looking to be talked down to on a constant basis, it makes the entire board feel unsafe. And it's not just me I've seen you talk down to. I think I'm just the only one who will say it.

I say "I think it's sodium amytal" and you say "O I know about sodium amytal you don't have to tell me about sodium amytal, here's a whole history on it". I was just trying to help you figure it out... And then when I say I don't appreciate when you do something, you tell me it's because I have transference issues with therapists and because you are one. First of all, I like my therapist. Secondly I don't see you as a therapist, I see you as a board member. I have no proof that you are even a therapist, and until I see it, I will always see you as just another board member. And because I don't care enough to see proof, you will always be just a board member. People lie all the time on the internet. It happens. So you are a board member. I am here to converse between people with DID, it bothers me when someone interjects (in other circumstances also) with talking down to me. It really bothers me.

And you'll tell me "Well block me". But that's not how I work through things. I don't ignore my problems. I work through them.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

I think I just messed up my wording a little. It is used for repressed memories and DID is about repressed memories. Therefore it is used for DID??

Sometimes I get really offended by your responses to things. Like you try to be the therapist here, but I'm not looking for therapists, I have one. I'm also not looking to be talked down to on a constant basis, it makes the entire board feel unsafe. And it's not just me I've seen you talk down to. I think I'm just the only one who will say it.

I say "I think it's sodium amytal" and you say "O I know about sodium amytal you don't have to tell me about sodium amytal, here's a whole history on it". I was just trying to help you figure it out... And then when I say I don't appreciate when you do something, you tell me it's because I have transference issues with therapists and because you are one. First of all, I like my therapist. Secondly I don't see you as a therapist, I see you as a board member. I have no proof that you are even a therapist, and until I see it, I will always see you as just another board member. And because I don't care enough to see proof, you will always be just a board member. People lie all the time on the internet. It happens. So you are a board member. I am here to converse between people with DID, it bothers me when someone interjects (in other circumstances also) with talking down to me. It really bothers me.

And you'll tell me "Well block me". But that's not how I work through things. I don't ignore my problems. I work through them.

lydia I took most of my reply to this to pm because I did not want to detract from this thread.

Im sorry that you feel this way.

in general and not only for you my brief reply is

Yes I would say place me on your blocking list. this site has this feature to protect ourselves from what we perceive to be triggering and harmful to ourselves. I am not offended by anyone that may need to place me on their blocking list for their own well being. even I use this blocking feature for my own well being here. from my point of view protecting myself online by using this blocking feature isnt running away from / ignoring my problems. I place this in with the knowledge that I cant control other people, I cant control what others say, post to me or what posts they reply to, i can only control and protect myself from harm. this protection feature for me comes in very handy especially when Im having a day when my dissociative symptoms are activated.

Im doing my part by choosing to remain moderated so that I and the psych central team can be assured what I post is correct and not my trying to be someones therapist here. And I use the protection features this site has to protect me. I cant control whether others do their part by using the protection features of this site or not.

I also never tell anyone online that they are having transference issues. my standard reply is always -

Im sorry we cant tell you what the problem is in you, all we can do is tell you whether we have the same problems and what our own treatment providers called it in ourselves, and then I tell about when I had the problem my treatment providers called it transference, bipolar, depression, anemia... what ever it was called. I know it irritates some that I wont tell them they are having transference or whatever may be but this site doesnt allow us to make a diagnosis.

im sorry if someone told you, your dissociative symptoms was transference.

Again Im sorry you feel that way.

there is something I want to clarify in regards to my post---

your quote of my post was not accurate. I did not state what you quoted. I simply stated that I have heard of that drug.

after that yes I did give a brief explanation that this drug is still used in the USA. I did so because there are many different countries, cities, towns, locations, mental agencies and many different members here on psych central.

some places dont use that drug

but there are places that still ***do*** use that drug.

Since the drug was mentioned I thought it would be nice if people knew what it was and why it was still used.

Originally Posted by LydiaB

I think I just messed up my wording a little. It is used for repressed memories and DID is about repressed memories. Therefore it is used for DID??

maybe in your understanding and location this statement is true.

but here where I live and work that statement would not be.

here where I live and work DID is having two or more alternate personalities that take control and the person has a certain type of memory loss - the host doesnt remember but the alters do.

so here where I live and work the mental health community believe in order for a drug to be used for DID that drug must treat DID - example since your question centers on repressed memories since this type of memory loss that is with DID is one where the alters have the memories the host doesnt, the drug must integrate the alters so that the host gains back the memories that the alters hold separate. no drug at this time can do that not even this one unfortunately. maybe someday but not yet. At least thats the belief here where I live and work.