[Roseheart101]

Hi,

I am sure this question has been answered before, so please forgive me for asking it again, but I just wanted to ask what others do when they feel so depressed, but they don't know what the reason is. I have been working with my T for about a year, and we are making headway, but it is slow. Tonight and often I feel just horrible. I am supposed to save it to work with my T on it, not deal with it on my own, but it is just leaking out.

And also, I feel bad when people tell me there is no such thing as DID. I can't even tell them, because they don't understand and they are not people I am close to, but it is distressing. Actually I never have told my family either. I don't know how to tell my kids and grandkids. Heck, I am still shy to tell my psychiatrist. I need to do that

I worry too that things will show at work or school. Like when someone asked how long had I been a nurse, and I said, ten years, err no fifteen years, uh no ten years, no fifteen years. It is so embarrassing. Or someone asks me how many grandchildren I have, and I get mixed up and can't exactly remember. I know the answers but then when they ask me I go into nervous mode and can't remember the right things to say. That happens a lot.

Anyway, my main question, is what do any of you or your alters do when the nasty depression creeps in. I am on antidepressants, I am taking care of myself, but it doesn't solve everything, that is for sure. I just need a bit more coping and caring. So any suggestions you have will be appreciated.

Thanks,

Roseheart & Bobbi Jo

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Roseheart101

Hi,

I am sure this question has been answered before, so please forgive me for asking it again, but I just wanted to ask what others do when they feel so depressed, but they don't know what the reason is. I have been working with my T for about a year, and we are making headway, but it is slow. Tonight and often I feel just horrible. I am supposed to save it to work with my T on it, not deal with it on my own, but it is just leaking out.

And also, I feel bad when people tell me there is no such thing as DID. I can't even tell them, because they don't understand and they are not people I am close to, but it is distressing. Actually I never have told my family either. I don't know how to tell my kids and grandkids. Heck, I am still shy to tell my psychiatrist. I need to do that

I worry too that things will show at work or school. Like when someone asked how long had I been a nurse, and I said, ten years, err no fifteen years, uh no ten years, no fifteen years. It is so embarrassing. Or someone asks me how many grandchildren I have, and I get mixed up and can't exactly remember. I know the answers but then when they ask me I go into nervous mode and can't remember the right things to say. That happens a lot.

Anyway, my main question, is what do any of you or your alters do when the nasty depression creeps in. I am on antidepressants, I am taking care of myself, but it doesn't solve everything, that is for sure. I just need a bit more coping and caring. So any suggestions you have will be appreciated.

Thanks,

Roseheart & Bobbi Jo

I like to go to the gym or take a long walk. Exercise helps with relieving stress and increases endorphins which relieve some feelings of depression. And exercise can be as little or as much as you can do without injuring yourself. Some just need short walks to get out of the house and into the air. Anyway I hope this helps. Feel better.

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I like to go to the gym or take a long walk. Exercise helps with relieving stress and increases endorphins which relieve some feelings of depression. And exercise can be as little or as much as you can do without injuring yourself. Some just need short walks to get out of the house and into the air. Anyway I hope this helps. Feel better.

Thank you so very much. It does help. And thank you for helping.

[avlady]

yes a long walk, or short one could help, i usually go in my yard too, one thing which i havn't done lately because of the snow. you could also read a book if you don't feel like going out.i just also turned my radio on that seems to help too.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Roseheart101

Hi,

I am sure this question has been answered before, so please forgive me for asking it again, but I just wanted to ask what others do when they feel so depressed, but they don't know what the reason is. I have been working with my T for about a year, and we are making headway, but it is slow. Tonight and often I feel just horrible. I am supposed to save it to work with my T on it, not deal with it on my own, but it is just leaking out.

And also, I feel bad when people tell me there is no such thing as DID. I can't even tell them, because they don't understand and they are not people I am close to, but it is distressing. Actually I never have told my family either. I don't know how to tell my kids and grandkids. Heck, I am still shy to tell my psychiatrist. I need to do that

I worry too that things will show at work or school. Like when someone asked how long had I been a nurse, and I said, ten years, err no fifteen years, uh no ten years, no fifteen years. It is so embarrassing. Or someone asks me how many grandchildren I have, and I get mixed up and can't exactly remember. I know the answers but then when they ask me I go into nervous mode and can't remember the right things to say. That happens a lot.

Anyway, my main question, is what do any of you or your alters do when the nasty depression creeps in. I am on antidepressants, I am taking care of myself, but it doesn't solve everything, that is for sure. I just need a bit more coping and caring. So any suggestions you have will be appreciated.

Thanks,

Roseheart & Bobbi Jo

before I was integrated the first thing I did was contact my treatment providers. by doing this my doctor, therapist and psychiatrist were aware that I was in active depression..

from there ...

my doctor would do a physical to make sure the situation was / was not a medical issue...there are many medical and normal issues that caused me to be depressed and not know why...lack of sleep, poor diet, not enough fluids....

my psychiatrist would make adjustments to my medications because sometimes I would develop a tolerance for the medication or the medication dosage or kind was too much or not enough or wrong meds now...

my therapist and I would talk about things like when does this feeling hit me, what does it feel like mentally and physically, whats going on in my home life, whats going on in my love life,.....

eventually the reason behind the feeling depressed would show itself.

in the mean time my treatment providers and I would set up contracts / emergency plans just in case they were needed should the depression slip into self injury or suicidal thoughts/plans/actions.

On rare occasions my feeling depressed for no reason would turn out to be my becoming co conscious of an alter that was depressed. in these situations my therapist and I would talk about the same things as above and she would have me do whats called...sit with the feeling...which was allow myself to feel it/write about it/ draw it/ and other ways of expressing it...over all we considered my being able to feel an alters depression as a good thing because it showed I was healing enough to be able to handle the feeling of depression on my own with out having the alter hold that emotion/feeling away from me. sometimes my therapist and I would sit together with me wrapped up in a soft blanket and my therapist holding me while I let myself feel that depression and cry if the need be.

[Permanent Pajamas]

I just go to bed and sleep it away. That's not a good strategy though.

[yellowted]

i usually hide in bed with a vodka and orange diluted with lemonade and a pacifier i tend to chew my finger knuckles, so to prevent me blistering them I try to chew a pacifier instead when in bed,

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

before I was integrated the first thing I did was contact my treatment providers. by doing this my doctor, therapist and psychiatrist were aware that I was in active depression..

from there ...

my doctor would do a physical to make sure the situation was / was not a medical issue...there are many medical and normal issues that caused me to be depressed and not know why...lack of sleep, poor diet, not enough fluids....

my psychiatrist would make adjustments to my medications because sometimes I would develop a tolerance for the medication or the medication dosage or kind was too much or not enough or wrong meds now...

my therapist and I would talk about things like when does this feeling hit me, what does it feel like mentally and physically, whats going on in my home life, whats going on in my love life,.....

eventually the reason behind the feeling depressed would show itself.

in the mean time my treatment providers and I would set up contracts / emergency plans just in case they were needed should the depression slip into self injury or suicidal thoughts/plans/actions.

On rare occasions my feeling depressed for no reason would turn out to be my becoming co conscious of an alter that was depressed. in these situations my therapist and I would talk about the same things as above and she would have me do whats called...sit with the feeling...which was allow myself to feel it/write about it/ draw it/ and other ways of expressing it...over all we considered my being able to feel an alters depression as a good thing because it showed I was healing enough to be able to handle the feeling of depression on my own with out having the alter hold that emotion/feeling away from me. sometimes my therapist and I would sit together with me wrapped up in a soft blanket and my therapist holding me while I let myself feel that depression and cry if the need be.

Dear Amanda Louise,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful suggestions. I have been putting off making another appointment with my psychiatrist but I think that I will do that on Monday. My therapist is well aware of what is happening. We have a contract for me not to to deal with things on my own. He always reinforces that because I think he understands more of what I am dealing with than I do. I am not self injuring, at least not actively. Just not wanting to eat. Just a lot of thoughts of self injury. On and on.

I think I will try some self-expression too. Last night I spent some time just drawing without focusing too much on the outcome, that was soothing.

Again thank you. I can't tell you how much your suggestions mean to me.

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by yellowted

i usually hide in bed with a vodka and orange diluted with lemonade and a pacifier i tend to chew my finger knuckles, so to prevent me blistering them I try to chew a pacifier instead when in bed,

Thank you Yellowted for your reply. I think I like to hide out in bed too. It is safer in so many ways. I think using the pacifier to prevent chewing your finger knuckles is great. It is safer.

Take care

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

I just go to bed and sleep it away. That's not a good strategy though.

I don't know PermanentPajamas, at least it is safe from a lot of things. I have done it a lot of times myself.

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by avlady

yes a long walk, or short one could help, i usually go in my yard too, one thing which i havn't done lately because of the snow. you could also read a book if you don't feel like going out.i just also turned my radio on that seems to help too.

Thank you avlady,

I think getting out of yourself is a good idea too. Just to let the bad thing pass through and let the healing over time work.

Thank you.

[jax01]

I would add this to the list of things to do: remind yourself it dosen't last forever. no matter how deep and dark it may be, it's not permanent. not if you are working on it.

there's a limit to what meds can do for you, and therapy too. Sometime you have to feel it. I hate that saying "sit with the feeling". But some times you gotta.

It always reminds me of when Neo wakes up on the ship with Morpheous, and asks him why his eyes hurt, in the movie The Matrix.
Morpheous tells him "because you've never used them before"

it's okay if that doesn''t make sense to you. it dosen't to make much to me either


jax

I'm sorry you feel so depressed. It's hard enough to deal with the DID let alone feeling awful. I tend to stay in bed, which is not a great idea, but it keeps me alive. Good luck to you.