[evie114]

My therapist's first name is Madalyn. I see her every Monday @ 1pm for the most part. This Monday she really pissed me off because she accussed me of not being honest with her during that session. When I had just finished telling her that I had been suicdal as well as homicidal the Sunday before. I told her that I had considered seriously giving my daughter up due to financial problems. I told her that I had had a fit of anger and threw a glass bottle and smashed it to bits and then I threw a box of cereal all over the kitchen. Then I went into the car by myself and just sat there trying to calm down so I could go to church but I was just to pissed off to drive anywhere safely so I came back in the house slamming every door possible. Then she asked me all of the main questions like if I was safe now and if I would try to committ suicide with the car and a bunch of other stupid questions that I guess she had to ask.
But then she comes out of her face saying that I am not being honest with her. I said " what the hell are you talking about I just told you that i was suicidal & homicidal and to angry to drive safely, thinking of giving up my kid,what else do you want me to tell you?"
She says well I don't know how your system works and I don't think you are being honest about that part of you. Well I started to laugh. she asked me what was so funny? And I said that I would rather not say. She gave me permission to say anything that was on my mind so I called her a prying *****. To my surprise she was happy with that because she said at least it was honest like if nothing else I said during the session was honest. That pissed me off too.
I don't know what she wants me to tell her. how can I tell her how my system works if it is a mystery to me. All I know is that I have D.I.D. and she is a specialist in the field why do I have to tell her what I don't know myself. Isn't she suppossed to help me to understand my sytem so we can find out together how it works. If I knew the answers why would I need her. She wanted me to tell the phychiarist what I told her but my appointment was yesterday and we had a snow storm so they cancelled my appointment until next month. She asked me to stay in touch with her by e-mail but right now I don't have anything to say to her.
If anyone can relate to my frustrations with Madalyn please message me or pm me.
Thanks for listening.

Sincerely
Evie

((( evie114 )))

How long have you been seeing this T?

You said...

"Isn't she suppossed to help me to understand my sytem so we can find out together how it works."

It sounded to me by her challenging your honesty (in regards to being suicidal) that she's trying to do just that.

"She says well I don't know how your system works and I don't think you are being honest about that part of you."

Try thinking of this as "I want to believe that you are being honest with me, but I don't know how your system works."

Maybe she was just looking for reassurance that you would not harm yourself or others?

Maybe you should email her and tell her exactly what you said here.

[kimmydawn]

Hi there. I'm sorry it was such a confusing session. I'm also sorry to read you'd had such a difficult time.

It sounds like maybe her anger was do to concern for you? Also, she might have be attempting to reach the part/parts of you that were close the day before to discuss, or a part that would best protect during those times in the future?

There are many things that could've brought on that response, but I think it would be good if that was the first question at the next session.

I hope you keep us informed.

Be safe,

KD

[Calm]

Hi evie,

You called her a "prying b****". Is it a possible there is a part of you who is very protective and feels it's necessary to keep other parts hidden. The motivation behind this behavior might be to keep them from being hurt again, unwanted exposure or maybe a deeper level of trust has yet to be established. Simply a thought I wanted to share. I do hope your system has a way to keep you safe.

Calming thoughts I wish for you,
Calm

[mlyn]

there is a reason we are told not to depend on humanbeings alone, pretty sure.