[catcoon]

<font color="purple">Right now I'm in a pickle... Don't know what to do.

I've been busy with this baby part for about 3 weeks now.

Went inside and formed a HUGE group hug that included all the parts hugging me, hugging Tooty, hugging baby. Picture a chrysanthemum with ((((Cat[[[[Tooty{{{{baby}}}}]]]])))) and the rest of the parts around us. Well, now a huge explosion has happened. Baby's total sum of being is being spread to all of the parts, is reverberating around with all of the horrible experiences of the past... all the emotions... all the body sensations.... multiplied within all the parts.... and I'm feeling all of them at the same time.

It's totally unbearable. I can't stand much more. I've been in this place for 24 hrs now. Talked with my T who says "Bear it, you're tolerating it, guess it'll have to wait til we see each other again on Thurs, can't see you before then." I'm so frustrated... can't stand this any more. Won't see me early.

Why is this happening now? Why must it continue so long? Is this the end of the parts? Does anyone have any ideas?

Anyone out there? Anyone listening?




</font>

Im listening catcoon.

I dont necessarily have any advice for you but wanted to let you know we care.

[catcoon]

Thanks for listening Rainbowzz. I really appreciate it. Right now I'm overwhelmed with it all, but do appreciate the fact that I'm not alone.

[January]

(((((((((( Cat ))))))))))

I don't have any answers, but I care.

Hugs,

Jan

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((catcoon))))))))))))))))) I am here. I am sorry I have no advice but wanted you to know you are not alone.

[catcoon]

Well, I'm still experiencing it all, but am in a better state mentally, I guess?

I am "tolerating" it. That sounds so bad, "tolerating myself', but that is exactly what I'm doing. Plodding on....one foot in front of the other.

Thanks Jan and Bipolar bear! Hugs back to you!
love,
cat

I don't have any answers for you either. I don't know what is going on.....
But we're here sitting with you as you go thru it.
Keep hanging in there.
w_i

[(JD)]

fusion? I think it must feel terribly strange for you! Perhaps a mind over matter idea will help, that it is all of you anyway... what has always been there for you, as you?

In answer to the one question, it might not be forever... fusion often takes a few times of coming together and breaking apart a bit and coming back together etc... it may sound and feel disconcerting... but like any new thing, it can be for the best

[catcoon]

Thanks w_i and _sky. I do appreciate your positive thoughts. Still sitting and tolerating. But less than 24 hrs til therapy, so maybe my insiders will talk then?

Will keep in touch.

cat

[(JD)]

Do you journal? Let your insiders talk that way? Good wishes.

[Jennifer1084]

Just thought I would let you know I am listening, even though you don't know me, haven't been around in awhile.

Jennifer

[catcoon]

<font color="purple">A quick update about what happened between the time I wrote the first post and right now. I am a whole person now. Still aware of the essences that parts had, but no longer are they separate. We are finally one! I have such a terrific sense of peace and serenity now. The turmoil all ended yesterday at 12:30pm my time (FL). I was sitting in my car and it was like a ripple of energy went through my hands to the steering wheel and through my feet to the floorboards, then quiet inside, no more struggling, no more separateness, peace and serenity.

I spent the afternoon getting my hair cut and frosted, then went grocery shopping, went to my best friend's house and had supper, then went to therapy where I told therapist about what happened. We then kind of reminisced about the past 13 years of therapy and all the things that I've accomplished in that time. Laughed about some of the things that have happened in therapy. Cried tears of joy for the unity I was experiencing and cried for the separateness being gone now. I have been up all night just being. Not doing anything. Just having a sense of wonder about all of me right now.

Thank you all for your encouragement and support, it helped me through to the other side. I have certainly learned the only way out is through.

[silver_queen]

That's really great, catcoon!

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
catcoon said:
<font color="purple"> I have certainly learned the only way out is through.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> amen....that is true for many. glad you've found a way that works for you.

[(JD)]

Good to hear you are having such success. Please do remember that sometimes there can be a slight splitting or shifting, a kind of undoing for a bit, and then going back together as one. It might take therapy over an issue, or it might just happen automatically. Don't be discouraged if it happens, ok?

[bipolar_bear]