[Shaly78]

started a novel trying to get balance not overwhelm us, at same time feel kind of sad need a emotional release to seem a little more normal...

I'm like in a lost spot, so doomed feeling. Caring has gone out the window. I feel so like a statistic...the numerical meaning of my life.

[darkpurplesecrets]

Understand statistic feeling Also sadly like a project, one that no longer even matters. It feels like we are poison. Hugs seem so far and few between anymore. Maybe we really don't deserve them. Today feels dark, as though the night is not ending. Maybe it would be best to just disappear. Wish someone could step inside for even a moment. They might understand us then. We are not bad, but we feel like it. Just keeps pushing and pushing. We often wonder if anyone is afraid of losing us as we are afraid to lose someone(s). Maybe it doesn't really matter. It feels we are already lost.

it's been a reasonable day for us (despite the usual nightly confrence) preventing sleep.

Today's much better. Mood wise, I don't feel stabile anymore, it's starting to get erratic. Like ths morning, I almost broke down and cried, but the next moment I was fine, like a quick dip in the line of quasi stability. I'm med sensitive, it hurts. I can feel it grating on my nerves and brain. I can't take APs, they near send me into convulsions.

Off meds I was a moody B, but at least I felt unmedicated- clean and natural.

Today's much better. Mood wise, I don't feel stabile anymore, it's starting to get erratic. Like ths morning, I almost broke down and cried, but the next moment I was fine, like a quick dip in the line of quasi stability. I'm med sensitive, it hurts. I can feel it grating on my nerves and brain. I can't take APs, they near send me into convulsions.

Off meds I was a moody B, but at least I felt unmedicated- clean and natural.

[sepia officinalis]

Hi, just got here. Got diagnosed a few months ago. Think I've finally figured out what having this condition means for me. Thank you to my good friend, you know who you are.

Hi sepia, welcome to PC!

I'm sorry for the DX, but also I'm glad that you now know so that the healing can begin.

Please keep coming back, for I'm so looking forward to hearing more from you!

My history and cache got erased last night. This iPad couldn't connect with PC, it said something about timing out. So, I went to settings and was wondering if I wanted to clear it or not, then my hand shot forward and pushed the button. Littles likes to push buttons to see what happens. I finally got back on this morning! Lol

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

My history and cache got erased last night. This iPad couldn't connect with PC, it said something about timing out. So, I went to settings and was wondering if I wanted to clear it or not, then my hand shot forward and pushed the button. Littles likes to push buttons to see what happens. I finally got back on this morning! Lol

we always clear our history after every session

because it makes the brouzing faster

not a bad day for us today as far as the switching.

i'd say today so far is pretty productive

[Gr3tta]

I felt faint like i was going to switch all morning. In the end i let go and let it happen. We were able (my wife and i) to address a grievance he had, had some fun together. Afterwards i felt much better.

We're doing alright. The only issue is that our Protector had gotten this idea in her head:she wanted to reveal our condition. I don't know why, but we've managed to talk her out of it. We think she was just really angry. We've been having flashbacks these last couple of days.

Our family doesn't know about us. Our host works hard to keep us hidden, especially the littles. And we work hard so as not to appear too different from our host. So, it came as a shock to us, that our Protector wanted our mother see what her treatment of our host caused. She wanted to throw all our hard work away. If Mother treated host properly, we wouldn't have been here! We like being here.

our grandad's in the hospital again.

this time it's a nose bleed that they can't stop...

I've been dizzy for days now, especially when I look up or stand up too fast. I need to go get a blood pressure check. Will do in a bit.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I've been dizzy for days now, especially when I look up or stand up too fast. I need to go get a blood pressure check. Will do in a bit.

i hope that it goes well.

hugs

[Gr3tta]

I've been switching all day , but for a purpose. Just leaving me tired and slightly disoriented. On edge. I literally jumped in the air when a breeze blew a tree branch towards me.

The guys are trying to run the body, shutting the rest of us out. Rob has been the online person instead of me Susie. he's kinda a matter of fact kinda guy, like a dictionary.

We had our blood pressure checked, it was like 159/80 once, then 149/100 next.

We're going to see the doc soon.

our brother left today for a 2 day trip to jourzey.

so we're all sort of relaxed about that

he can be annoying even at the best of times

bad night again last night (what's new?)

as i'm typing this planning my tv viewing for the day

looks like my soap opera than an agatha christie programme

[Gr3tta]

I am trying to establish my front porch as a safe place. One of my alters immediately runs away - on foot, sometimes even gets on a bus!- so i don't know her at all. I know she needs to leave the house, but if she could feel safe stopping at the front porch, maybe she could talk to my wife and some of her story could come to light.

We've been discussing this amongst ourselves, and we think that our present work situation isn't any good for us, so we are thinking of retiring and finding a job working for another for a break. Usually jobs only last a year for me before I have a crackdown, then decide that we are going back into business for ourselves again.

Omg! I went to our doctor, and I finally found the office in another part of town. I was bugged that I had to drive all the way over here. I'm sitting in the waiting room and it's finally like sinking in that I've been here before. Blood pressure was high, but it never fails that I get better when I make it to the doctors office. :/

[IB splitting]

So I'm going to be five O on the 27th. What is strange though is I see people around my age or older and I think man I'm glad I'm not that old. So I'm guessing that the reflection in the mirror is not what it appears. I just don't see myself at this age. In (my) mind I feel like 18 or something where did all this time go.. I just can't figure it out. We can be any given age at any given time so strange..I'm not sure who is in the mirror, is it really me??

Bite to remind the bitten...

been mostly a positive day for me.

feel content today

I've been mostly ill

It's our fault. This insane compulsion to drink to I'm dead is killing me. I think I need lockdown to just break this cycle. I was heading home last night not wanting to drink, and then I walked into a store and bought a 12 pack without thinking all dazed like. It's like I realized what I did once I was driving away drinking a beer.