[darkpurplesecrets]

Have been awake all night for the third night in a row. Mind is running and running. So tired, but sleep is seeming far away. Not sure if anyone even cares, if it is even important. Feel expendable and worthless, no longer needed if ever was. Wish life would just stop.

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

Have been awake all night for the third night in a row. Mind is running and running. So tired, but sleep is seeming far away. Not sure if anyone even cares, if it is even important. Feel expendable and worthless, no longer needed if ever was. Wish life would just stop.

no sleep sucks.
even though we have books, dvds, etc, we still feel unsure of what to do with ourselves at 2a.m in the morning.

everything just seems so pointless

spent the day checking emails, (so far)

surprisingly large amount, given that barely anyone has my address/

Soooooooooo wound up today. Usually Im pretty blah most of the time, but today Ive been flipping between End of the World, and Hopping Angry ALL day. Its exhausting.

Why do I feel go-conscience is a curse...like a carrot hanging from a string from a stick in front of my face that I can't reach?

I feel like a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs with Parmesan cheese and ketchup and jalepenos and picante sauce.

Sounds good at first, but it's full of pain afterwards. :/

another sleepless nightt here.

got a movie to watch today, water for elephants

that's if the others don't interfere

been quite switchy lately

oh yeah and it's tuesday so should be getting pizza.

[Gr3tta]

Had nghtmares all night. Finally decided to just get up at 5am.

Have been talking to my sister a little about my past. I actually named someone (very scary) because i had to warn her to keep my niece away from that person. I'm glad i said smething, but it put my anxiety through the roof and stirred up everyone inside.

[darkpurplesecrets]

Does it really matter? Everyone else does, just not us. Watch and see. Day is night and night is night, and we are trapped in both. Nothing really matters at all.

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

another sleepless nightt here.

got a movie to watch today, water for elephants

that's if the others don't interfere

been quite switchy lately

oh yeah and it's tuesday so should be getting pizza.

well so much for the movie..

put it on, but bleh..

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

well so much for the movie..

put it on, but bleh..

The book is excellent! But i was super disappointed by the movie. Agree: bleh.

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

The book is excellent! But i was super disappointed by the movie. Agree: bleh.

i couldn't see it because of the others interfering

oh well i'll watch it another time

I'm feeling depressed. The future is mush. I even wonder if I'm really bipolar. Every time I go off meds, **** gets too crazy real fast, but here I am depressed.

The body's partner is leaving. We can't afford this place, and the kid is only a junior in h.s..

Life has been steadily heading down hill, but recently picked up speed. Sigh.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I'm feeling depressed. The future is mush. I even wonder if I'm really bipolar. Every time I go off meds, **** gets too crazy real fast, but here I am depressed.

The body's partner is leaving. We can't afford this place, and the kid is only a junior in h.s..

Life has been steadily heading down hill, but recently picked up speed. Sigh.

the future really scares us

though it's another thread entirely. i'm pretty sure their's so many that have their doubts, and it's horrible. not knowing what you're going to do with yourself

[Gr3tta]

Have T today. Scared to tell her whats been going on in the past week, but know i should. I just hate recounting unpleasant events. And I'm very fearful about some this week. I know she might be able to help, but its still scary.
Will gladly take some pocket riders.

agoraphobia really acting up today. (despite not leaving the house, andn ot having plans too), the anxiety has been a lot.

tried to distract myself with watching game shows.. only worked for a while

[Gr3tta]

T pulled a no show on me! At first i was pissed, but now i am getting really worried if she is all right. She's never done anything like this before.

I've been feeling faint and dizzy for a few days. I'm also seeing waving in the outer corners of my eye. It was suggested that my blood pressure is high.

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I've been feeling faint and dizzy for a few days. I'm also seeing waving in the outer corners of my eye. It was suggested that my blood pressure is high.

I think it sounds like it could be low!
Confusing - sorry!

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

T pulled a no show on me! At first i was pissed, but now i am getting really worried if she is all right. She's never done anything like this before.

Turns out my appt is for tomorrow. Not sure whos error this is, but st least i still get T this week.

[IB splitting]

I have been feeling lost lately, I recently had four new alters come out and two sub-alters. It's been very busy in my mind, and my job that I've been with for the last 12 years is on the line. We do not deal with change very well. I'm real scared right now.

[Kiya]

feeling more alone than I've ever felt; with a brand new t and with pnurse quitting. with trying to get services for mom and her trying to re-enslave me. with her providers not seeing past the veneer, and my providers practically non-existent.
I alternate between hopelessness/despondency and determination to get healthy and get as far away from my mom as possible.
no one can understand my mom or see the danger that lurks there. she's soooo good. I almost believe her. I've been crying all night (even while running - and I haven't run in years- trying to outrun her long shadow).

[Georgia Bridge]

I not sure how this forum stuff works... you are the first person I've posted to. Can't sleep and reading how this total stranger going by the name of Kiya/wise elder has been crying all night. So many years of sobbing and constant sobbing going on just under the surface in my life... so I guess I wanted to say I'm thinking about your situation, though it's kinda hard to know really because I haven't read any of your past posts.

Originally Posted by Georgia Bridge

I not sure how this forum stuff works... you are the first person I've posted to. Can't sleep and reading how this total stranger going by the name of Kiya/wise elder has been crying all night. So many years of sobbing and constant sobbing going on just under the surface in my life... so I guess I wanted to say I'm thinking about your situation, though it's kinda hard to know really because I haven't read any of your past posts.

hi.

welcome to PC.

it's good to see you

how are you doing?

as for how the forum stuff works, you did fine. you just reply to any of the threads you want to reply to (like you did in this thread), or you can start your own and have other people reply to you.

if you need anything, you can contact me- i'm part of the comunity support team, so yeah... you can just click on my name and message me.

lol

as for how we're doing, really struggling with the anxiety and complication surrounding who we actually are and who's living life.

not as simple as it seems in some circumstances

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Turns out my appt is for tomorrow. Not sure whos error this is, but st least i still get T this week.

Now I've had too long to get panicky about it. I hope i can still talk about what i need to.

Pocket riders appreciated!