we got very little (nothing?) done yesterday

room is still a mess too from who ever through stuff all over the place

hopefully today we can make ourselves useful and at least clean the roor

wednesday is the day we order groceries too, so will go online later to do that

[Luce]

I am not getting much done over here, either. I am so behind on my study work (2 essays are overdue, more are due soon) but can't figure out how to get it done. Every day I am like "this is the day!"

... but no. Today was not the day either.

Maybe tomorrow?

Originally Posted by Luce

I am not getting much done over here, either. I am so behind on my study work (2 essays are overdue, more are due soon) but can't figure out how to get it done. Every day I am like "this is the day!"

... but no. Today was not the day either.

Maybe tomorrow?

what are the essays on?

(((((hugs)))). you will get their

[Luce]

Child development. One on language. One on social.

Originally Posted by Luce

Child development. One on language. One on social.

i actually think they sound like fun essays

enjoy

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i actually think they sound like fun essays

enjoy

Me too! I'd genuinely be very interested to read it. Would it help if I proof read before you submit?

[Luce]

We've had time off work to get them done and still can't. It's getting critical. The one who does them loves this stuff. But I can't do it. We are coconscious with the one who does it, but there's too much other stuff triggered up for her to have the space. Everything is all wrong.

Originally Posted by Luce

We've had time off work to get them done and still can't. It's getting critical. The one who does them loves this stuff. But I can't do it. We are coconscious with the one who does it, but there's too much other stuff triggered up for her to have the space. Everything is all wrong.

i know you'll get their. you will, it takes time

how much time do you have left before you need to hand it in?

having an okay day so far.

managed to tidy our room and shower this morning.

now waiting for our next important delivery (48 cans of vanilla coke)

[Luce]

ummm, one was five weeks ago, one was two weeks ago. Other assessments were supposed to be handed in 4 weeks ago. Another essay is due in two weeks. we havent started any of it. there is one a month due after that.
We aren't going to fail because they are not handed in yet. But the workload in con-cer-tina-ing. everything needs to be handed in completed in a couple of months. including the massive amount of other stuff we haven't started yet and should have finished by now.
yuuup, the forecast is lookin pretty grim.

we never even got our cola!. *sad face*

need to talk to amazon today about it

[Septembersrain]

Today I was told by a psychiatrist I may have dissociative amnesia. I'm a little scared.

Sent from my iPhone SE using Tapatalk.

[Luce]

I found out one of the insiders that I don't have co-consciousness with asked ex long term t for a skype session, and ex t said yes. I have no idea who it is or what they want to talk to her about.
We haven't seen ex t in years, although we go through spurts of emailing her. I actually like the idea of skyping with ex t, but as me.
The unknown factor here scares the crap out of me. This could go all sorts of wrong.

Don't really know what to do with myself. Devoid of hope. Wish this weekend could be my last.

Originally Posted by Septembersrain

Today I was told by a psychiatrist I may have dissociative amnesia. I'm a little scared.

Sent from my iPhone SE using Tapatalk.

have some ((((healing hugs))))

[Luce]

Originally Posted by CassyO

Don't really know what to do with myself. Devoid of hope. Wish this weekend could be my last.

All you have to do is get through the weekend, hun. As long as you keep on truckin' there is hope.

The hardest part is getting through the hardest parts.

The weekends are always awful as I posted in another thread- just got to make it through the next 48. I wish I can sleep that long. At least during the week I can focus on the work needed to be done followed by drunkedness bliss afterwards.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

The weekends are always awful as I posted in another thread- just got to make it through the next 48. I wish I can sleep that long. At least during the week I can focus on the work needed to be done followed by drunkedness bliss afterwards.

((((((((hugs))))

[Septembersrain]

I feel very unlucky. Fibromyalgia meds cause me to get depressed. Withdraw causes dissociative amnesia to flare, stress from the pain and anguish keeps me from remembering more stuff. This is absolutely crazy!

Sent from my iPad Pro 9.7 using Tapatalk.

Originally Posted by Septembersrain

I feel very unlucky. Fibromyalgia meds cause me to get depressed. Withdraw causes dissociative amnesia to flare, stress from the pain and anguish keeps me from remembering more stuff. This is absolutely crazy!

Sent from my iPad Pro 9.7 using Tapatalk.

(((((hugs)))))

I've been in T for two years now, and even though it was my T that pointed out (ever so subtly) to me that I was DIDish, he just won't actually say it. He'll mention 'dissociation' but he rarely mentions parts, and never actually says - you have DIDish. Despite this its pretty obvious to both of us that there are many parts and Im pretty high up the DID spectrum.

Anyways, with the exception of a brief conversation here or there, Ive never spoken in depth to anyone outside of T about the abuse, or the DIDish, or anything. Until today.

A friend of twenty years came round to visit. Its been a few months, and I warned him Im not doing well at the moment. Well, as soon as he walked in the door we hugged, and I just completely broke down. That was it. Many hours of talking followed, and I eventually managed to get out "I'm in pieces" and looked at him meaningfully hoping he would get what I mean.

He didn't bat an eyelid, looked me straight in the eye and said "I know. I've known since the first day I met you".

WTF! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME! OMG! It took another 18 years for me to figure it out!!!!

Im so blown away by the conversation. I do feel better for it, definitely. But Im also completely freaked out. He said he didn't know if anyone else knew. But he's not even close to being a shrink or anything. He's an electrical engineer! If an electrical engineer can figure it out. Has everyone else?! Why didn't I? Ive not been talking to people about because I thought they wouldn't believe me. But what if they've all known all along?! I just don't know what to think of this.

We just went on a 3 hour bike ride! Its definetly a guy thing, but I'm glad that we are exercising and burning calories.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

We just went on a 3 hour bike ride! Its definetly a guy thing, but I'm glad that we are exercising and burning calories.

Nice! Sounds like a great way to spend a few hours.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by CassyO

A friend of twenty years came round to visit. Its been a few months, and I warned him Im not doing well at the moment. Well, as soon as he walked in the door we hugged, and I just completely broke down. That was it. Many hours of talking followed, and I eventually managed to get out "I'm in pieces" and looked at him meaningfully hoping he would get what I mean.

He didn't bat an eyelid, looked me straight in the eye and said "I know. I've known since the first day I met you".

WTF! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME! OMG! It took another 18 years for me to figure it out!!!!

I bet that took a lot of courage! I'm so glad he was so supportive of you... I get the impression you needed this right now. having that one non-T person in your world who knows can make a big difference.

We have only ever had one non-DID/T friend that we have told, and we had a similar response. Validating and scary at the same time.

Have you ever asked your T outright?

Originally Posted by Luce

I get the impression you needed this right now. having that one non-T person in your world who knows can make a big difference.

We have only ever had one non-DID/T friend that we have told, and we had a similar response. Validating and scary at the same time.

Have you ever asked your T outright?

Validating and scary - you are spot on there, and again with the needing it - The last couple of weeks have been amongst the worst of my 40 years, and I did it on my own. This evening Im feeling so much stronger. But at the same time its a bit of reality check. When no one knows, it might not be true. Ive spent the past two years mostly thinking all of this was me just being attention seeking. But if he realised 20 years ago. The day he met me... Ugh. Thats so much harder to deny.

As for asking my T outright- Yes, Ive asked him twice. Even though he talks about my parts and does refer to them and to my dissociation, he has never ever said he thinks I have DID. Part of that is because Psychotherapists in the UK aren't allowed to diagnose, but he also said as long as I was smoking weed (I was a pot head for many years) he couldn't say whether what I was experiencing was down to drugs or not. I haven't asked him since I gave up - I guess until this afternoon I was leaning towards the 'Im just attention seeking' option.

My chat with my friend already has this hazy unreal value to it *GRUMP*