How do you do it. Bam. There you are. Another alter did something, now you are up front and how do you explain it? Do you say "hey, it was the other one?"
Or, "oh, uh, I wasn't feeling myself"

I go through this everyday! Especially with my spouse! Ugh! My spouse already thinks I'm fruit loops so it's not that big a deal. But with the rest of the locals, how do you explain the intricacies of the previous tenants? The choice in clothing, the mannerisms, the "strange" behavior?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

How do you do it. Bam. There you are. Another alter did something, now you are up front and how do you explain it? Do you say "hey, it was the other one?"
Or, "oh, uh, I wasn't feeling myself"

I go through this everyday! Especially with my spouse! Ugh! My spouse already thinks I'm fruit loops so it's not that big a deal. But with the rest of the locals, how do you explain the intricacies of the previous tenants? The choice in clothing, the mannerisms, the "strange" behavior?

with me it was a situation of no explanation needed. you see I didnt just suddenly become DID as an adult. I had DID since very young before I was even 5yrs old. what that means is everything that happens because of DID had been happening since I was that young child. it was just my normal. at first after diagnosis I was constantly worrying about explaining and making excuses but then my therapist asked me to watch normal people do they go around making excuses and explanations for things that are their normal..no they just are who they are when they are. as human beings with a thinking brain human beings normally do make have times when they have problems, dont always remember every second every detail and do make mistakes. and they dont always go around saying Im sorry for my strange behavior when what they did was just their normal way of being.

example my co worker always, always, eats her lettuce first then tomatoes. to me thats strange behavior because I stab right in with a fork and eat what ever comes up. but thats just how she is. just because she doesnt act the way I think she should does that mean she needs to make excuses no, thats just her normal.

alters taking control and my not remembering what went on was just my normal all the way until I was integrated. so I never thought about making excuses for what was my normal just like my co worker doesnt make excuses for the way she eats.

[kaliope]

im a bit eccentric...................i get weird sometimes...........or flat out.....im crazy, really i am.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

with me it was a situation of no explanation needed. you see I didnt just suddenly become DID as an adult. I had DID since very young before I was even 5yrs old. what that means is everything that happens because of DID had been happening since I was that young child. it was just my normal. at first after diagnosis I was constantly worrying about explaining and making excuses but then my therapist asked me to watch normal people do they go around making excuses and explanations for things that are their normal..no they just are who they are when they are. as human beings with a thinking brain human beings normally do make have times when they have problems, dont always remember every second every detail and do make mistakes. and they dont always go around saying Im sorry for my strange behavior when what they did was just their normal way of being.

example my co worker always, always, eats her lettuce first then tomatoes. to me thats strange behavior because I stab right in with a fork and eat what ever comes up. but thats just how she is. just because she doesnt act the way I think she should does that mean she needs to make excuses no, thats just her normal.

alters taking control and my not remembering what went on was just my normal all the way until I was integrated. so I never thought about making excuses for what was my normal just like my co worker doesnt make excuses for the way she eats.

Ya, same here. I switch on a dime and I find myself doing something that I'd never do. It's like uh, uh, uh

But I can't speak for the other guy/gal. But as hostess with the mostest, I can't say that's my bag :/

IM ready to declare that im plumb freaking crazy and iVe got no excuse for the things I do because I didn't do them even if I've done them but didn't know it. Story of my life. I own up. Shoot me now.

[flockpride]

AlwaysChanging2,
amandalouise makes a great point about accepting what is normal for us. After a diagnosis, there's inevitably a period of noticing stuff in a new way, but the stuff has always been there. It is your normal. Now you can see it in a bigger context. Yes, stuff that happens can make you feel crazy. Personally, I think identifying with "normal for me" is more stabilizing than identifying with crazy. Hang in there.

happens all the time for us!

[darkpurplesecrets]

You are heard and we get what you are saying. It is hard and when one within does something that is not known or that is not something another would do, someone is left holding the bag and trying to make everything okay again. Most times it is her.

So many times she just wants to disappear, hide, and even no longer be because somewhere she knows it is her but it is not, yet there is no one else there but her and somewhere she takes responsibility for things that take place, problems caused, and misunderstandings that come about.

Normal things that people do just are not normal and can scare us to death causing a chain of events unknown or even triggering a defense as some still are not in this present time, and do not know anything but what they were first created to do. Their job.

Normal for most is doing things without bad always resulting or happening, or if it does ways of working it out are possible. But normal for those in our world, the devastation was unending and always came no matter how compliant or good one may have tried to be or even was.

The rules changed without notice and then changed again or even back and you didn't know, and the consequences always came, there was never a way out. Somehow we were supposed to know what one could not possibly know.

The sad thing is, the cost is to the whole even though most within do not and cannot comprehend this, they are just doing their job or doing what they know or were brainwashed to do. But to the one that knows nothing who comes back, tries to fix or correct it all, does not even know what happened, just knows there is something wrong, something happened.

What may be normal to us is not normal to most of the world.

But we are always afraid, always on guard, always ready to protect, hide, and push away. Sad thing, most within only know those things. They do not know anything else, some within are too afraid even of themselves and/or life, are only trying to still survive. They do not even know time has moved. They are hidden and unknown to others. Sometimes are even unreachable within.

They do not have time, do not even know what it is. They only know to survive and quickly do what they know to do; and the one taken over is left not knowing, picking up the pieces, and yes, afraid. Thing is there was no time to think, for some they do not even know how to think just do.

What is normal to most, our normal does not fit the normal of what most the world knows or does. But our normal comes anyways, and the devastation is like a tornado or hurricane that destroys anything in its path, and sometimes is what we are left with. But we cannot blame the world around us now.

For our normal even changed within our normal always leaving us with not even a normal way of reacting or knowing how to. It left us always fighting to find a way to go on. Always fighting to even sometimes breath.

How could anyone understand our normal? It is not an excuse, it is our reason.

Understand? We can no longer ask or hope that someone could.

Echoes

[Ocean5]

Then you start asking what are people thinking of you....it's the worst and isolate yourself. I even stopped picking up packages at my apartment office until daytime staff was gone. Felt so judged. I'd wait till it was just security at night. But judgment was in my mind (least I hope.)

It's not worth it. I'm just beginning to understand this... Now when something is delivered I go pick-it up in last week. Realized they aren't judging me - if anything management feels bad for me (long story...)

Seriously - we didn't do this to ourselves - why should we be ashamed? And who cares what others think, after what we have been through - they have no right to judge and you don't need to explain yourself.

You survived in a way nature intended - there is no need to explain.

And I'm just beginning to realize/accept I've lived with this since a young child - I survived - was successful in past. Never had to explain - I didn't even know my condition.

Sure some people think I'm weird, I confuse others, worried some people, but some of those people loved me and never questioned.

We've made it this far and survived. That's what's important.

I forgot who said it, but whatever you do keep moving forward - even if you have to crawl - just keep moving forward...

I keep forgetting I know more than they do and deal with it like I've ever always done. It was just a wondering I had for feed back from others like what they did to cover up like a really big deal. I have too many "oh ****" moments. That's all.

[TheFuZZieONE]

Originally Posted by Ocean5

Then you start asking what are people thinking of you....it's the worst and isolate yourself. I even stopped picking up packages at my apartment office until daytime staff was gone. Felt so judged. I'd wait till it was just security at night. But judgment was in my mind (least I hope.)

It's not worth it. I'm just beginning to understand this... Now when something is delivered I go pick-it up in last week. Realized they aren't judging me - if anything management feels bad for me (long story...)

Seriously - we didn't do this to ourselves - why should we be ashamed? And who cares what others think, after what we have been through - they have no right to judge and you don't need to explain yourself.

You survived in a way nature intended - there is no need to explain.

And I'm just beginning to realize/accept I've lived with this since a young child - I survived - was successful in past. Never had to explain - I didn't even know my condition.

Sure some people think I'm weird, I confuse others, worried some people, but some of those people loved me and never questioned.

We've made it this far and survived. That's what's important.

I forgot who said it, but whatever you do keep moving forward - even if you have to crawl - just keep moving forward...

Ocean5, VERY WELL SAID!!!

A major part of my life is owning up to what my alters have done. Mine is also a long story, and it affects me every damn day of my life. I'm living in my own personal hell because of it. But like most, I am also a survivor. The difference is that I created most of my trauma myself by putting myself in bad situations and saying/doing outrageous things. I messed up my life pretty bad, and I don't think it's fixable.