[Roseheart101]

Hi!
I haven't been here for ages. Whats going on in my life is that I am getting divorced for the third time and I have a new, super high stress job that I hate. After today, I am in a panic, even though everything is OK. I even told my boss today that I am absolutely terrified, but I can't tell her the reason I am terrified is because I have DID and I have a loopy memory. My marriage broke up partly because I have DID. He said I hit him, but of course I don't remember that. How could I stay with him, if I might hit him? Or worse? And he never forgave me. He just kept bringing it up how horrible I was. I mean there were more problems than that because he is severely PTSD and avoidant. What do my alters think? They are just screaming their heads off. No one is happy.

Hey babe, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. But what can you do? The wheels of motion has been set forth and it's just something that you have to ride out. You most likely will not like the outcome, and we all know what that's going to be. It's all crazy...but the best advice that I can give is to do nothing and let it blow over and see where you are at that time. Obviously it was some really crazy stuff, so don't expect miracles, but we are resilient and we can always pick ourselves up and rise above the ashes. I do it all the time so I know that you can too. Good luck honey. I'm behind you 100%.

[Roseheart101]

Dear Always Changing,
Thank you for your kind words. Your message means so much to me. It feels like you really understand what this is like. Not to complain, mainly because it doesn't do any good, but things are sometimes just so difficult. Thank you for your advice to do nothing, that is the best thing now. I had this thought I should just run in to my boss and tell her everything and end up losing my job. But I will resolve not to do that. Just let it blow over, as you said. Actually, when I read your message I started crying, which is a good thing, instead of just walking around in high panic mode. Now I am relieved. Thanks for your support.

[TheFuZZieONE]

Roseheart101, My name is Jen and I'm new here, so I haven't had the chance to meet you yet. I'm sorry you're going through so much. I wish I had the right words to tell you, but I don't. My advice is to try and remain positive and have faith that things will get better because they ALWAYS do. No matter how much life sucks, it will turn itself around eventually. It can't rain all the time, right?

I remember a time in my life when I was far away from home. A place where I was away from friends, family or anyone who cared about me. I was going through hell and I thought there was NO WAY my life was going to get any better. I was so convinced of this fact that I attempted suicide. But you know what? Life eventually turned itself around and I met wonderful friends, came back home and fell in love. That love didn't last, but I gave birth to my pride and joy. Every once in a while when I'm on top of the world I look back at my suicide attempt and think about how foolish I was to think my life was over then. Life isn't always golden, but its ALWAYS worth it.

I told you that story to cheer you up since I didn't know what else to say. But you're obviously hurting, so I didn't want to not say anything. Life is rough sometimes and it can seriously suck, but you're DID is proof you can overcome anything.

Sending you good vibes and hope you feel better!

*good vibes*

Jen :-)

[likewater]

Hi, Roseheart. I don't know how cool your boss is but you can let him/her know something is going on without disclosing you have DID. Lots of people go through marital issues for example and have extra stress. You could say you have something personal going on. Personally, I wish we could all announce our DID publicly at the same time and then it wouldn't be a big deal bc we'd all do it together. Have you and your husband ever tried it want ed to try marital therapy? It sounds like you love each other and you both could benefit from it.

[Roseheart101]

Thank you Jen, I am so glad you said something and sent good vibes too. I am glad you made it through that bad time and things got better. I am glad you told me that story. The truth is, it helps me not feel so all alone, which is what I usually feel. And I needed to hear that life is worth it, because it doesn't always feel that way to me. And I guess DID is a badge of resiliency, hard won, at that. It just feels like a badge of shame. I really wish I could do some about that. I think that what you said: "DID is proof you can overcome anything" ought to be on a big sign for the world to see. Thanks so much

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by likewater

Hi, Roseheart. I don't know how cool your boss is but you can let him/her know something is going on without disclosing you have DID. Lots of people go through marital issues for example and have extra stress. You could say you have something personal going on. Personally, I wish we could all announce our DID publicly at the same time and then it wouldn't be a big deal bc we'd all do it together. Have you and your husband ever tried it want ed to try marital therapy? It sounds like you love each other and you both could benefit from it.

Hi Likewater,

Thanks so much. My boss is OK, but scary. She knows I am getting divorced. I don't know what would happen if I disclosed my DID. I also think it would be better if it were out in the open. I am actually working for a mental health place, but that doesn't make it any easier. I still find people all the time at work who don't even believe DID exists.
My husband and I talked about marital therapy. We got a book and read some chapters, and even started on an exercise. But in the middle of it, his PTSD set in and he just shut down and didn't want to do it at all. I think there were just too many people in the "marital room." Most of them mine. He didn't like most of them and wouldn't talk to them, and after a while they didn't like him either. I do think therapy is a good idea, but I think it takes both people (or a lot more in my case) to be willing to engage. I realize that sounds like an excuse, I'm sorry. It was just too difficult. Thanks so much for your kindness, it means a lot to me.

My marriage is over with too. I finally accepted my condition real recent which means my alters come out without restraint any more. The Angry Man came out and told my partner everything most of us thought for about a week after a few drinks. Other than the sex maniacs, most of us feel done. It's life can you say. I've wallowed and cried and compromised for years. I'm so done with groveling. Next time we're taking a vote before we hitch up.

[Roseheart101]

Taking a vote is a great idea. Even a giant round table discussion. Or maybe a bunch of round table discussions. Wouldn't it be great if the partner would come to the round table discussion too? Actually that should probably be how to do it.

[TheFuZZieONE]

Lmao at Alwayschanging2 and Roseheart 101! I call it the committee, and it seems they never all agree on the same significant other!

Originally Posted by TheFuZZieONE

Lmao at Alwayschanging2 and Roseheart 101! I call it the committee, and it seems they never all agree on the same significant other!

Lol, the "ayes" have it! Like we'll ever get a unanimous decision in my head!