Who am I at night????

Every night after about 6pm I feel like I become more emotional. I become more sad, upset and tired.
I don't even get up out of bed until about 9am, so I don't know why I get like that.
The arguments with my S.O. are always at night. The feelings of self-loathing and inability to handle anything emotional is at night.
It has gotten so bad that I am at the stage where every time I say something I have to add "I feel like this NOW, at this very second. I may not feel this way in an hour or in a day, but..."
This is frustrating for my S.O. because my thoughts and feelings on subjects change so drastically from one hour/day to the next.

I wonder if anyone else is this way. I mean, it's not like any of my others come out. It is still me, I just know that they impose their thoughts and feelings at times too.

When I take the Ambien (sleeping pills) I get worse. I forget things really badly. I forget what I ate or said or even if I make love to my S.O.
I have tried not taking it, but then I can't sleep.

UGH, sorry...I'm rambling a bit.

I just would like to know if I am alone in feeling like I have different emotional states throughout the day.

I understand...

Regarding the ambien, the few days I took it the dr. explained that it was very important that I be in the bed ready to sleep before taking it or things like you described could happen. However, my cousin takes it and would be in bed, go to sleep, then wake up and do things... I hope you find a resolution or alternative that works really soon.

I do as you do...late at night. I enjoy when others first settle down and the boy is in bed. However, when it gets closer to my going to bed, my mood/feelings/thoughts change. I don't want to go to bed at times.

I know why I don't want to... There is a reason.

I can't say why you might have the same difficulty, but unless I'm in a REALLY GOOD PLACE, I have to be literally passing out to go to bed. If I'm not asleep immediately, I have to get right back up. This isn't all the time, just when I can't do my self-care.

I understand...

KD

Thanks KD. I seem to be ok if I am watching TV or just hanging out, but the minute things begin to get emotional in anyway, I get upset, things get really emotional and I usually end up crying so hard that I hyperventilate.
Things that were ok in the morning are not ok at night.
I have such bad insomnia and I won't even get to sleep unless I take meds.
I think the evenings are more difficult because of my past. Lots of negativity at night and fear of falling asleep.
Maybe that has just followed me into adulthood.

im sorta the same way..at night.. its like feeling like my sanity part of me gets pushed to the back. and im just raging inside.

- know what you mean

Thanks, it really helps knowing I am not alone in this.

I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster and it gets all confusing and frustrating. As you work through T, it will become more manageable, at least that's what I experience. I kind a found a way for it to all work.

And then the upsets come and throws everything intoa st9ir again. I guess tha'ts why we all have each other.

SBD