Everything is getting so loud. My head hurts and I feel like the others are looking through my eyes. There is pressure beyond what I can explain. I lose so much time. Feeling so small and lost. They are writing but I am afraid to go back and read what they have written. My mind is not my own. Sometimes I feel them coming at other times they just overtake. I feel lost inside and out. I am scared of what all is taking place. We try to go to the garden, just to sit for awhile. The little ones do not understand playing as it was not permitted. We take our drawings and colors but we are afraid someone will come take them or break them up. I come back after time is gone and there are drawings that I do not do. It scares me. I have not shared this before as it makes me feel crazy. I know I am not alone, I never have been. But I always thought that everyone was this way. It seems to be getting worse and I have less control now. I have feelings that I do not understand.

purplesecrets

[Fuzzybear]

(((((( purple secrets )))))) safe hugs if ok...

((((((purple)))))))

[onebody]

You don't know me, I am new. But here's some thots.
Do you have a T experienced in dissociation?
Have you had a recent meds check? if you are on meds.
If your not on meds, there are those that can help thru these rough times.
I feel for you. It must be very, very, scarey
I hope you do have some help with this, cuz it must be hard to function and think.
Can you get extra sessions, or p-doc appt to try and settle this down?
Is there stuff going on right now in your life that is causing this disruption inside of you?
Its sounds like your doing good things, drawing, writing.
Its hard to settle all when alls in a tizzy.
Manoman, wish I could say some magic words for you.
I have a safe place I goto, that is mossy, and soft, and there's a stream to play in, and its very very safe. I like to turn over rocks and find critters and stuff. Its a good place. Maybe some of you can come there for a bit. Or even one who needs a break.
Just a thot. You are welcome to come there.
Take care.

[selfy]

purple (((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs )))))))))))))))))))))))
you can always talk to me. i will still say that i will listen to whatever you wish to say to me, and you cant hurt me with the past. i am ok if u wanna tell me and i know why you chose not to. feel free to go back on that decision anytime.
forever your friend
tc hun
self

[(JD)]

(((safe hug))))

Purple, sometimes activity increases - or the sense of conflict increases - when you are in what some others might consider unsafe territory. If you are in therapy, please tell T of the increase, for therapy it means you are going too "fast" covering too much material.

If you aren't in therapy (and my apologies for not knowing this) then maybe even your being here and posting has upset your system. Some may feel you are not being safe enough, as it's outside the normal for them.

In any event, this type of response usually happens because of changes in your life. Try to look at what changes you have made and see if they are all really in your best interest. The others are there to protect you; that's all they're trying to do, imo.

TC

[SongBirdandDaisy]

((((((purple secrets)))))))

Do you have a therapist? If not, you may want to look into finding one.

I used to think these kinds of "feelings" were something everyone else dealt with too. I thought it was natural. I learned it was natural for people like "us", who found a way to survive and we are all survivors.

Safe Hugs, if okay,

SBD

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((((((purplesecrets)))))))))))))))))))))

So many wonderful ideas, questions, thoughts and suggestions here for you. I hope you can get some relief soon. Know that we all care and are here for you when you need us.



*Gentle Hugs & Hand to Hold*
J

Thank you to everyone--

As I sit here and I try to answer this, my head rings with voices that are loud. Yes, I have a T that is trying hard. Opening up inside is very scary and it is hard as was told never to tell. My safety IRL is very questionable. Hiding seems to be a daily thing. Wondering if the others are allowed without fear of being cast out or what other call evil. Allowing them to have a voice without fear of being in trouble is very real. So many times I have pushed them back and not allowed them to have a voice because it is not safe, but they have something to say. Sometimes I am afraid of what that is and to protect myself from those outside IRL, I find myself denighing my system and everytime it causes an uproar inside. Thank you all for your words and help. I appreciate all of you.

purplesecrets

[onebody]

Geeze i sure feel for you :-(
Are you on meds? They can help. They are not scarey.
Hope you can be safe. Take it slow.
Can you tell the others inside what going on, that its OK?
Can your T reassure them?
Take care, hopefully you can have some times of quietness.