[Luce]

Have you ever had different insiders take videos of themselves and then watch them? We never thought to do it before and we did it and was soooooo weird. We found out some things about us we didn't know! Like who can watch videos of which others..... because we found some can't watch some others at all and we found out some are closer to some others than we knew. And we found out that we still dissociate more than we thought we did!!! We have seen others on video sometimes before of course, but never them videoing to talk to others inside. It was very very very strange. Now people want to keep videoing and talking to eachother. It is really hard to watch some people talking. Did anyone else ever try it here?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Luce

Have you ever had different insiders take videos of themselves and then watch them? We never thought to do it before and we did it and was soooooo weird. We found out some things about us we didn't know! Like who can watch videos of which others..... because we found some can't watch some others at all and we found out some are closer to some others than we knew. And we found out that we still dissociate more than we thought we did!!! We have seen others on video sometimes before of course, but never them videoing to talk to others inside. It was very very very strange. Now people want to keep videoing and talking to eachother. It is really hard to watch some people talking. Did anyone else ever try it here?

many treatment providers across the USA now video tape sessions. my point is yes I have had my insiders take videos and watch them. it was part of my therapy sessions. all that needed to be done was who ever in the system including me had to say was we wanted it done and when. I chose to always have the equipment on record. this helped with many different situations that came up as part of my being DID and other memory related problems. I had a couple alters who would only participate when being recorded and others that refused to participate (refused to answer question or volunteer anything during therapy) if the recording equipment was on, and others asked for it or asked for conformation that the equipment was on or off during sessions.

I and my alters did not find it hard simply because being this way was how we were all our lives. each of my alters had their own sense of agency, some knew about each other there fore were always finding ways to communicate between each other. some left notes on the fridge, some audio recorded, some video recorded, some drew pictures to each other, some made things for each other, some verbally talked aloud to each other. some "asked inside" to each other. but i the body born did not have much co consciousness with the others so it was after full integration that it now makes me a bit uncomfortable because it shows exactly how all aspects of my life was affected by having DID. but over all my alters that had co consciousness abilities always found ways to communicate to \with each other. just part of being DID according to my own locations treatment providers.

[Shaly78]

Yes, I'm that way with reading also sometimes its just like not my business what alter wrote, or I don't want to hear my voice or be on video. I don't like the sound of me although there are alters that are very well capable of this skill....It is very new and excites the anxiety more than I would like. Anyway, it is good to try very different than anything else. I truly understand!

I listened to voice recordings but never videos. The v.r. Gives me the creeps, especially when I don't recognize the voice and thinking it's another person. My anxiety levels spike and I get a sickening feeling when I do.

It's a lot like the mirror thing.

[Luce]

I agree, AC, I think it is a lot like the mirror thing. It is very confronting for some insiders who do not ike to see themselves 'in' this body, and confronting too for the main ones (like me!) that thought our dissociation was more under control than what the videos portray.
As the week has progressed though I have been finding it a very useful tool for communication, and think we will probably continue to use it for this purpose. I have found out quite a bit this week from the videos. I don't know why we never thought to use this before.

Originally Posted by Luce

I agree, AC, I think it is a lot like the mirror thing. It is very confronting for some insiders who do not ike to see themselves 'in' this body, and confronting too for the main ones (like me!) that thought our dissociation was more under control than what the videos portray.
As the week has progressed though I have been finding it a very useful tool for communication, and think we will probably continue to use it for this purpose. I have found out quite a bit this week from the videos. I don't know why we never thought to use this before.

Its very devestating to most of us....we just cant remember what we really look like. We just know how we feel, so visual just sends us into immediate devastation- dissociation, depression, s.h.,

Of course, the guys kinda don't care, but the fems and teens are very hurt.

We just can't handle a dose of reality....it makes us feel most damaged. Thank God for the amnesia and memory issues.

Usually when an Other gets gravely embarrassed....they crawl inside and hide forever. Karen got embarrassed with her teenage frenzy and felt humiliated- all things considered and she has gone into hiding (she's the drama queen freaking). Some of us Others can handle the disgusting, but we are very, very sensitive.

-don't get me wrong....I would so love to try, but none of us can handle it.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Its very devestating to most of us....we just cant remember what we really look like. We just know how we feel, so visual just sends us into immediate devastation- dissociation, depression, s.h.,

Of course, the guys kinda don't care, but the fems and teens are very hurt.

We just can't handle a dose of reality....it makes us feel most damaged. Thank God for the amnesia and memory issues.

Usually when an Other gets gravely embarrassed....they crawl inside and hide forever. Karen got embarrassed with her teenage frenzy and felt humiliated- all things considered and she has gone into hiding (she's the drama queen freaking). Some of us Others can handle the disgusting, but we are very, very sensitive.

-don't get me wrong....I would so love to try, but none of us can handle it.

I can only imagine how much harder it must be for all of you. We only had / have a few male alters (female body) and I am not really aware of them getting any air time these days, so as far as I know that isn't an issue for us. I can totally understand why the fems and teens in you find mirrors and videos too confronting. I would too in their shoes.

We don't give hugs to people very often but we are sending some to all those fems and teens in you!!!!! I am sending some cheering up ones and some happy ones.

And this too. cos, you know - cool.

Originally Posted by Luce

Have you ever had different insiders take videos of themselves and then watch them? We never thought to do it before and we did it and was soooooo weird. We found out some things about us we didn't know! Like who can watch videos of which others..... because we found some can't watch some others at all and we found out some are closer to some others than we knew. And we found out that we still dissociate more than we thought we did!!! We have seen others on video sometimes before of course, but never them videoing to talk to others inside. It was very very very strange. Now people want to keep videoing and talking to eachother. It is really hard to watch some people talking. Did anyone else ever try it here?

no

doubt something like that will ever happen.

[cheshiregrins]

I've never videotaped myself but I do always record therapy sessions. (I decided to do this after I realized that I could never remember sessions and it was a complete waste of time.) When I listen to them again when I'm in a different state it is unnerving- like who is that person?!?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

A while ago we had a major damn break and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE started pouring out in rapid cycles. It was aharshly rude awaking cuz for a eriod of yrs before i had actually come to truly believe i was singular! Anything i didnt remember or couldnt explain i had chalked up to drinking and lots of quick answers were provided when questioned. Not that anyone was lying per say but more just covering up idk outta fear of lossing our SO or if they were trying to protect an image of wholeness that had been created..... any ways back on topic.... It started with a selfie on my phone. Scared the crap outta me! To this day as far as i know no one has claimed that pic. Nothing raunchy just a normal pic sitting on the porch, but thos eyes! *shutter. Sent the pic to my SO and his response was u look pretty..my response was WTF?! THATS NOT ME! He was obviously confused but then "my other half" reemerged. ( Call her that cuz she is the best and longest known to me. We used to be co concesous/ aware. She showed up, our SO already had known her by her indiviual name from way back when we met. I was completely out for a day and had no clue. Thought i just fell asleep. After that more came tumbling out and asked my SO to start documenting as a lot of parts were unknown, or had not been in a long time some since childhood. So yes there are many voice recordings, a few vids, and lots of pics, texts, and notes. Some are terribly disturbing, some just weird, some, though still embarrasing to me at times, ive come to accept that they are important to other parts.. so even tho i would come to at times and look thru my stuff get angry or embarrassed and start trashing evidence, eventually i have cometo terms with that i have no right to start just chucking others belongings or correspondence. Sometimes i look back thru and find stuff missing, i can only hope that we are not all being disrespectful to each other and that things that have been more recently deleted was cuz the part it belongs to decided they didnt want it anymore. Still look back at that pic from my porch from time to time and its still creeps me out... now our SO doesnt record us any longer and other than stuff that is normal for another parts, we do not make a habit of recording ourselves.sEmbarrasing, disturbing, down right shocking and sometimes gross...yes, but overall it has been essential to our process and really helpful actually to keep a sense of time not being just "lost".

[Luce]

Lostinthewoods, I can relate to that! That sounds similar to what is going on for us. We have been living as a singleton for a while, though knowing that the others were here, but feeling like that were more a semi-integrated part of me. Then the dam burst and things shattered again for a bit. We have never used video much before, but I made one, simply because I wanted to send a message to t from *me*, but then everyone went crazy on making video messages there for a while. It was quite confronting - both because we haven't done the video thing before, and also because they haven't been acting independently for a while. It was so very strange to see them on video and to see that they really are very different. Seeing the switches happening on video was very new for us too.
One who does her job well came and deleted everything again. She has always done that!
I have found that it has been a useful tool in some ways too. I have sent messages to others, they have sent messages to me etc. It has been confronting to realize that all is not as well as it seemed, though.