I swear my boss a) knows (and plays on) my DIDishness. and b) Just tried to trick me in to applying for a job.

I'm so confused, and suspicious, and I swear to God I'm not mad!

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Why would your boss do these bad things?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by CassyO

I swear my boss a) knows (and plays on) my DIDishness. and b) Just tried to trick me in to applying for a job.

I'm so confused, and suspicious, and I swear to God I'm not mad!

my suggestion is contact your or a mental health treatment provider. they can help you make a report of discrimination to the right people that over sees your equality act laws.

here in america suggesting, telling or otherwise some one to apply for another job usually doesnt have anything to do with mental disorder. here it usually means

the employee got into some trouble and wasnt doing their job up to standards so the boss no longer thinks they are qualified to do the present job

or the company that the person is employed in is going through legal problems and must down size how many employees that they have

or the company has been sold and the new buyers are making the mangers and bosses lay off\fire people.

but usually bosses here dont trick or suggest the employee get a new job if the company is solid and a person is doing their job up to standards ...

I mean what would a boss have to gain by sending all the employees to other companies/ other jobs...someone has to take over doing the job the lost employee did which means the boss has more work to do, less people working may mean more money but can also result in companies going bankrupt because not enough people keeping the company going.

another suggestion is talk with your boss, let them know what you think so that they can clarify what they were trying to tell you...

you might also want to talk with your doctors because sometimes medications and mental disorders can cause a person to have paranoid thoughts like this.

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Why would your boss do these bad things?

Ew, sorry I should have said - these are good things! I think. But its also weird and disturbing. I have a thing about being manipulated. Im pretty sure (undiscussed with T) that if i perceive I am being manipulated in any way, acts as a trigger. Also, no one has ever really spoken to me about DIDishness. Even my T will not acknowledge who I really am So its very very weird to have them play me and 'experiment' and most of all - understand me. Its pretty exposing to be honest. I've never told them nothing, so to have them kind of say to me - Hey, you, with the DIDishness - we see you. Its harder for me to deny. How can I be making it up when two relative strangers figure it out for themselves? It was horrible at first because they really did experiment on me but now one in particular has such a deep understanding of me and uses that to get the best out of me. (most of the time, anyway ) I feel very very lucky. And vulnerable!

The other boss is the one who recruited me in the first place, and he's a total entrepreneur and is always setting up new businesses. I had this weird phone call that day from a recruitment agency on my work phone, asking me to apply for a senior management position within a new start up company. The way they spoke, the words they used - he sounded just like my boss. Literally used the same lines that he used to hook me in to my current role (not the kind of the thing that normally would enter this kind of conversation). I've done a bit of research and I know the person that would connect this recruitment agency (which consists only of one person) to my boss. Also, any other recruitment agency in the world would call on my personal phone- no one has my work phone number. So its a nice thing that it happened, but I don't understand the coyness (they wouldn't say who was doing the recruiting, wouldn't send me a job description, were really coy about it). So that makes me wonder if this was a test or something from my bosses. Most of me thinks its for real, with some element of testing included. either way - ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGH just stop manipulating me and playing puppet master and just have an open / honest conversation! Things like this shouldn't make me angry but they do. Why can't he just ask me what they want to know?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I get triggered when i think people are manipulating me too. For me it being asked lots of questions. Idk. Like they words they use or they way they ask or just that i dont understand why someone would,ask me that..i guess. Idk like they are fidhing for stuff to use against me or something. I know even tho they act all stupid about it that my family knows if they asks certain questions in certain ways using certain words, that the dum blabber mouth will take over n no one else can get thru until they tell dummy to be quiet like they didnt ask for any iinfo at all! But they don't think we have any "real" illnesses just that we are lazy and on drugs. No one i know of uses any drugs! And i have asked our T and SO and they both say no too..n no stranger has ever come up to me and acted like i would want drugs...so i know our family uses our DID against us! Also we had a T over a yr ago who was bringing in interns and asking me to sign my name like 3xs a session and asking all sorts of dum obvious questions like if we really did have DID then how come...or why do..and then kept telling me that i was pretty much like,exactly the same as ♡??!! And so then no way we have DID... and im like lady why do you keep trying to insist i dont have DID when I never asked n dont give a rat butt about any of this dum crap i just want to talk about our SO!! Come to find out after she quit the office n we were seeing another T who was filling out paperwork stuff for us, she put down like a bunch of codes n i asked what they ment n she showed me the comp screen it,was a list of our dxs and first one DID! So im all wtf?? Asked who dxd that n she clicked a couple more screen and said our last T dxd it like 2yrs ago! New T was all im sure she told you that n im like nope last time i renember seeing her i think was only like 2wks b4 she quit. She talked down to me like i was some dum kid n was all i really dont think you hace DID i mean do you know how rare that is? N im like no i dont. I dont care about dxs n stuff like that for the million xs. Your talking to the wrong gurl lady! New T was all shocked n told me yeah she read our Dxs b4 she met us but its pretty obvious. So weird! Why do Ts lie n keep stuff that isnt theres to keep! More manipulation! ~♦

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by CassyO

Ew, sorry I should have said - these are good things! I think. But its also weird and disturbing. I have a thing about being manipulated. Im pretty sure (undiscussed with T) that if i perceive I am being manipulated in any way, acts as a trigger. Also, no one has ever really spoken to me about DIDishness. Even my T will not acknowledge who I really am So its very very weird to have them play me and 'experiment' and most of all - understand me. Its pretty exposing to be honest. I've never told them nothing, so to have them kind of say to me - Hey, you, with the DIDishness - we see you. Its harder for me to deny. How can I be making it up when two relative strangers figure it out for themselves? It was horrible at first because they really did experiment on me but now one in particular has such a deep understanding of me and uses that to get the best out of me. (most of the time, anyway ) I feel very very lucky. And vulnerable!

The other boss is the one who recruited me in the first place, and he's a total entrepreneur and is always setting up new businesses. I had this weird phone call that day from a recruitment agency on my work phone, asking me to apply for a senior management position within a new start up company. The way they spoke, the words they used - he sounded just like my boss. Literally used the same lines that he used to hook me in to my current role (not the kind of the thing that normally would enter this kind of conversation). I've done a bit of research and I know the person that would connect this recruitment agency (which consists only of one person) to my boss. Also, any other recruitment agency in the world would call on my personal phone- no one has my work phone number. So its a nice thing that it happened, but I don't understand the coyness (they wouldn't say who was doing the recruiting, wouldn't send me a job description, were really coy about it). So that makes me wonder if this was a test or something from my bosses. Most of me thinks its for real, with some element of testing included. either way - ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGH just stop manipulating me and playing puppet master and just have an open / honest conversation! Things like this shouldn't make me angry but they do. Why can't he just ask me what they want to know?

I have to say I think you might be over reacting here. From what you have said it all sounds pretty normal. I suggest approaching this in sense of curiosity and avoid doing anything rash. Discuss it with your therapist perhaps?

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I have to say I think you might be over reacting here. From what you have said it all sounds pretty normal.

Sorry MoCS - Im gonna need you to expand a little. Which bit am I over- reacting to?

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I suggest approaching this in sense of curiosity and avoid doing anything rash. Discuss it with your therapist perhaps?

Lol I don't have any issues making a decision with this one Im not in interested the role, as apart from a likely increase in pay there is nothing about it that will be taking me in the direction I want my life to go in. I have already declined. I get calls from recruitment agencies asking me to apply for particular roles quite a lot- Weekly at the moment (my industry is desperately incestuous anyway) Thats why I know this one was so bizarre, because I have a large number of basis of comparisons! The practicalities are easy to deal with - its those damned feels i take issue with!

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

But they don't think we have any "real" illnesses just that we are lazy and on drugs.

My family are the same When a Consultant Neurologist diagnosed me with me Myalgic Encephamylitis my mum told me I was "lazy" and to "just try harder." It would have been easier to take if she hadn't spent 20 years as a mental health professional with a thorough understanding of somatisation

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

So weird! Why do Ts lie n keep stuff that isnt theres to keep! More manipulation! ~♦

OMG that first T sounds terrible! Im so sorry you had to experience that. I don't know how I would have handled her - probably very badly! I agree about T's. I don't think my T lies as such. But he has all these thoughts and opinions about me, my life, my future, my treatment, that he doesn't share with me, and I hate that. ITS MY LIFE, MY BRAIN, MY FUTURE, and its my money paying him! I want to know whats going on in his brain as much as he wants to know what is going on in mine!

[Shaly78]

Planning purposes what if she knows about Didishness, better cover your tracks. Don't insult her intelligence with recent movies out about tDID, with popular actors and actresses. What industry you work in? Manipulators have there place your feelings should be validated isn't a overeaction at all. Prepare the system to take on the new role and it should come with anxiety. A good company will do their part to prepare. Now if you barely holding on and know this is a total overwhelm, how will get out of this manipulation to the new job if u let the forceful alters fears make the decision to please boss...Hmmm something to think about.