questions: dissociative disorders version

The "protector hitch hiker" that sneaks into my session times, when I meet with my counselor. It's a sneaky and quiet part. I know it's there, when my fingers and feet tingle.

How bout a lighter question.

What's your favorite kind of pizza?

It distorts and fragments my memory of what we talk about. I feel like I'm there and all is well, but afterwards I can't put it together. In my heart I know it's purpose is to protect and not harm. It knows no better. I just can't get to it and understand it.

It actually makes me sad to think of the protector trying to do it's job, not understanding that things are different now. For the most part.

Sympathy for protector parts is a good thing according to my various ts. A sign of progress.

I like black olives, mushrooms and extra cheese. That makes me want some!

What is your favorite desert?

We are so grateful to our protectory parts. They were so big and strong doing big tough jobs even when we was still kids!!! How awesome is that?

I like apple crumble with melted ice cream. Yum yum yum yum yum.

What is your favorite christmas treat??

My protector parts have been an amazing gift to me!! It seems that that they frighten me when they come forward, and I don't understand them or am able to connect with them. They ARE awesome and I've learned that it is a slow process to get that connection.

This one seems to have been there from the start. I'm referring to my fingers and feet tingling. Other parts have come forward, but that part is still elusive. It feels really protective.

I'm still thinking about my drive tomorrow to my counselors office.

Rambling. Sorry!!

My favorite desert.

This may sound really weird, but I don't really like sweets. If I thought of something that would be a celebration treat, I would say it would be an antipasto plate. That sounds so weird, I know. I love all kinds of olives and cheese. I'm seeing some grilled shrimp and Prosciutto. To me that is an awesome treat!!!

So, have you ever tried shrimp and grits dressing? What is your favorite kind of dressing? Two questions. Sorry.

Shrimp and grits dressing? Ewwwwww! The US has some odd.... 'food'. (Canned cheese? Jet propellant fueled marshmallow whip? Dressing with grits in it?? 0_o )

I like garlic and avocado dressing.

What was your favorite pet?

quality street chocolates to answer best christmas treat

we have them every year (sometimes even 2 boxes)

best pet?

a hamster we had when we were little which we named harvey

ended up escaping behind the sofa.. little rascal.

what is your happiest memory of childhood

Happiest childhood memory.

I've been searching my mind for one. It's greatly disturbing me that I can't come up with one. I don't want that to be so.

I'm rationalizing it to be because of the "place I'm at right now." There have to be some good ones somewhere. I pray I find them.

Do you like to play in the snow?

I haven't been in snow very much. There is a mountain nearby that gets snow on it and one time I was up the mountain when it snowed. One time the father person got a boot load of snow and brought it back to our house and we made a snowman in the front yard but it melted pretty fast.
there ya go a happy memory and snow all at once.

Does it snow where you live?

Multitasking is a gift!

It snows here sometimes. There is usually a snow event (1-2 inches) once a winter and it usually happens in January or February. When it does snow, everything shuts down because people don't know how to drive in it. A lot of times it's mostly ice instead of snow.

I would rather build sand castles instead of snowmen. When my feet get cold, I'm done.

Found some pictures tonight and was sorting through them. Hum. Is that really me?

When you see yourself in pictures, does it look like you, to you, in the picture?

Sometimes it looks like me-me and other times it looks like other-mes! It all depends on which me was there when the photo was taken! Some of us we can recognize easily (cos even tho we look different to how we see ourselves we each wear the body differently) and sometimes none of us coconscious ones know who was in the picture. But we know when it was us or not.
Recently we showed our DID friend who we just got back in contact with some old photos and she could tell who was who straight away too. We could also tell who was who in the pictures she showed us of all of them. Alters just look different. its just the way it is!! And all this written by me who is not the same me that you usually see here!

Have you forgotten some big "normal" events in your life? Which ones?

That makes total sense and it was kind of the way I was thinking looking at these pictures.

Your question surprises me. I was in that train of thought already. I friend tagged me in a picture on FB of her wedding. There I was! I have no memory of it. None. I recognize the look on the face of the one in the picture. She's not there. That brought to mind 2 other friends that I was a bridesmaid for and I have no recallable memory of it. Nothing. Some part of me knows it to be true but I can't remember anything about it.

That's not "normal" events, but it was events that were or should have been special to me, that aren't there.

Do you have a support group, other than here on PC? I've probably already asked this question, but I'm so looking for friends like me. I value you all and thank you for your friendship here. It's anonymous and I so need a group or person that I can talk to and be myself and real. Being real brings it into reality. Hope that makes sense.

I don't, just have here, but we also now have our old friend again. We skype with her and it is wonderful. So freeing to be able to 'just be' and to be understood. We pretty much had no contact with her for over 16 years. And one day out of the blue she emailed us.

Does anyone else have a support group or person???

btw that's kind of what we meant by 'big normal' events.

well, we do have toyah (mental health manager), but we don't speak to her often.

that's all really, just this site and it's sort of sad that more people outside can't support us.
how has this week been for you

Yes, we got 9 inches on Sunday. That is unusual for here-to get that much snow. Usually it is a couple of inches.

I like to ski and I find that I rarely dissociate because I have to be focused on my body.

Have you ever skied?

no.

what is your greatest acheevement (in all your life)

My boys.

They are pieces of my heart. I haven't been the perfect mom, and I have made choices that have not been the best for them at that time. They are older now, 20 and 17, and we have a great connection. My relationship with them now is the closest I've ever come, to having a real relationship with anyone.

Do you like eggnog?

all these years, i've thought that it has real eggs in it

so you know?

i've never tried it

too scared to try it

(lol true story!)

what is the best time of day for you

I have never had eggnog, I have skied once, and my greatest achievement is still being alive.

The best time of day for me is.... late at night I think. That's OUR time.

Do you write poetry?

My best time is late at night too. It's quiet. I can sort out my thoughts and there is no one asking me if I'm ok.

Several years ago I wrote poetry. It came to me so easily, then it just quit coming. I don't know if I could write poetry anymore if I tried.

Do you enjoy cooking?

NO! I hate it!!! All of us do!!!! Dishes and housework too - blech!!!!!!

Does anybody cook meals for you???

I do most of the cooking. I like to cook. And I like to eat. But I don't like cleaning up.

Do you like the ocean?

Yes and no. The ocean is really dangerous. Beaches can be beautiful. And serene. Emotional and moody at times, too. Sand is totally annoying. Rock pools are fascinating. Waves can be exciting.... or terrifying.
We live 5 minutes away from the sea.
And never visit it.

Do you like purple?

I suppose it's not bad, but certainly not our first choice.
do you dislike cold weather?

I would rather build sand castles than snow men.

I'd rather be hot than cold! When my toes are cold I'm done. I'd much rather have my toes in the sand on the beach than in boots in the snow.

Do you have someone in your life that you trust with everything that's in your thoughts and heart?