questions: dissociative disorders version

question:

do you like to stay up late?

Yes! I love to be up when everyone else goes to bed. I can think then. There is nothing that I have to make sure is ok. I can sort my thoughts out and no one is asking me to do something.

What is your favorite part of your day?

My favorite part of the day is when everyone else is in bed.
As a child we liked that too. Used to go outside in the world and feel safe with no one else in the world. Like in the middle of the night. After all the people gone. When theres no one but you. I used to Be then.

If you could get rid of ONE dissociative symptom today, which one would it be and why?

Derealization. It's like I'm stretched between two places and I can't completely get a hold on either one. My day floats by and I'm trying to pull myself out of the fog. It's a place I do not like and it's so hard to get out of the fog once it sets in.

What "clears the fog" for you?

For me it is music. Play a little Slipknot, or Adel, or Three Days Grace. I love music. Wish I could play an instrument. If I get some money I'm definitely going to buy an instrument.

Who is your favorite author?

Kurt Vonnegut Jill Paton Walsh Stephen King Keri Hulme Ben Elton Don Tillman

Who is your favorite artist?

My favorite author is Brennan Manning. he speaks truth to my heart and my soul. I also like Beth Moore. She speaks my language.

I'm not familiar with the authors you listed other than Stephen King. I read his books in my younger days.

My favorite artist. I'm thinking music, because of the earlier post.

Kari Jobe. Crowder. Laure Daigle. Danny Gokey. Mercy Me, Casting Crowns

I can't pick just one. Their music is where I find my center.

Do you have something fun planned for the weekend coming up?

Ermmm. Study. For-real exams begin on Monday.

How often do you see your T? Is it enough? Too much? just right?

Good luck on your exams. If it's ok, I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

I see my counselor once a week. There is a part of me that wants to talk with him everyday. That's not really good for my recovery and healing. My moments that I've had of realization were on my own and in my space. I've shared them with him. Other times I'm stuck in a place and he helps me work through it.

In reality it would not be helpful for me to see him more often. I do make progress working through things in my space and then we talk about if.

Can't think of a question. Someone please ask one.

So. A question.

I'm checking out a yoga studio tomorrow morning. I hope it's a good experience. It helps me a lot in my own, I am just looking for social places that are safe. I so hope it turns out to be that.

Do you like/enjoy/practice yoga?

Nah. I am staying at a place that has yoga classes and yoga training and I tried it once. Ouch. The downward dog just about killed me.
And, bodies. I don't like bodies - mine or anyone elses - being visible. So it was a little too much.
This body is aging and a-changing. Sucks when the younger ones swing on monkey bars and stuff. : \

A question; does any one n you like to play on slides, swings, see saws or monkey bars? We have a middle aged body but have a couple of ones who play. Today one of them went down a water slide in full view of people. 0_o.

yes.

not so much slides, but swings/ seasaws

and who can forget the roundabout (not so much a classic playground toy, but they do still exist in some playgrounds)

question:

what would be the idea of your perfect day if you could make it happen

I don't know I can't even think what a perfect day would have in it. Because whatever might be perfect for one would be excruciatingly boring / triggering / overwhelming or some other form of 'too' for another. Even a 'perfect day' without any of the others wouldn't be perfect because it would be lacking in so many ways. So I can't imagine any day that could be perfect.

If you could do any one thing today - anything in the world - what would it be?

I would be at a beach house that is all mine for the day. I would get up early and watch the sun come up and just hang there all day, with no worries, anxiety or fears.

Of course, there would be an attendant that I felt safe with, to bring me whatever I wanted. Right now I'm thinking strawberry margaritas and I could drink as many as I wanted and not suffer the after effects, only that sweet spot of relaxing and not caring.

When it starts to turn evening, my attendant will build me a fire and roast oysters, shrimp and lobster over the fire for me. Yum!!

Then, my husband will come and sit with me by the fire, he doesn't like seafood, and he will be in a wonderful frame of mind and we can sit and talk by the fire. Maybe we will stay there and watch the sun come up.

That is what I would do! Sounds like utopia to me.

Same question! What about you?

Riding a horse in the woods with the temperature somewhere between 50 and 75. It's 25 here now, so not likely.

Do you like scented candles?

I kind of do. But sometimes they smell bad. Some smell good. I like the diffuser better.

Do you get scared by loud noises?

yep... especially any type of alarm.

oh and don't even get me started on crying babies.

on a scale of 1 to 10, with 0 being not at all and 10 being totally satisfied, how satisfied are you with your life so far?

I am probably a 2 or 3. And that's being positive.

Do you ever feel that your body is too big? (And I'm not talking about normal body image issues of not feeling good about looks or size.)

i'm not sure.

I certainly have a lot of image issues, but i've never looked at it from a diffrent perspective

what was the last movie you watched, and what did you think of it?

Ruh Roh last week I felt that. It was like my physical body felt too "big" too grown. I was trying to figure it out. I'm glad you you asked that!

I checked out a new yoga studio yesterday and it was really great! They heat the room to 80 degrees so you sweat. It helps detox you. When I got home I felt very calm and here. I went to bed early and slept for 14 hours.

That too big feelings is not with me today.

Luce I don't like candles because I can smell the chemicals in them when they are lit. I like diffusers too! My favorite mix to put in is Balance, Patchouli and Cedarwood. It's very comforting.

Kecanoe. The ride through the woods sounds very nice! I would enjoy that too!

I can't remember the last movie I saw. There is one coming out March 3rd that I do want to go see. "The Shack"

Do you like to go to the cinema and see movies or do you watch them from home?

I just wanted to thank you for answering. I usually don't post questions because I often get a No or Can't relate and then it's on to the next question, so it feels like another place to come and get rejected, even though I know it's just that someone answered a question that doesn't apply to them and nothing more. So I just wanted to thank you. This is an issue that bothers me. I will talk to my therapist about it, but it helps to find out if anyone else knows what I mean.

Now...so that your question doesn't get lost, here it is for the next person:
Do you like to go to the cinema and see movies or do you watch them from home?

I prefer to watch at home with all the comforts of being in absolute control of everything.

We feel 'too big' often too. It can be distressing for some littles. A few weeks ago one alter had the experience of 'becoming older' (how the heck does that work??) and had the experience of suddenly feeling much taller than she was used to. Very curious.

Do you have parts that never want to get older?

TR, it sounds like the yoga experience was very grounding for you! That's awesome.

Exactly!! That is what it feels like. It feels like I'm a giant physically, compared to what I feel like inside. It's quite an odd feeling.

Yes! My experience with the yoga was awesome. I plan to keep it up.

It does feel that parts of me are afraid to grow up. I think the best thing I can do is be understanding and show care and compassion. Those are the words I hear. It's quite different when I get caught in the midst of it. Hopefully the guidance and strength that those parts of me need will come and become stronger in me.

We just got back from celebrating my babies 18th birthday at a Japanese hibachi restraint. It was yummy!

Where do you like to go to celebrate special occasions?

18! Wow! They grow up so quick
I don't remember celebrating stuff in the same place..so I guess no. But I love hibachi! It's tons of fun watching to chef do all the cool tricks!
-Holly♡
Is there a talent you wished you could do?