questions: dissociative disorders version

No problem, I'm just trying to understand the basics so I can relate to what friends and people on PC are saying. Not trying to get personal with people or pry into their lives. Having CPTSD myself I've found that educating people on what my condition is makes it easier for both of us to communicate and support each other. It's that not knowing about the condition that make people assume things about people and their conditions that are not necessarily true. So knowing more about this would certainly make me more comfortable with being around someone who say they have alters. Does that make sense? I'm not sure I would know if I had an alter, would I?

Quick question: I've seen CPTSD referred to as complex PTSD and combat PTSD. I have both, incidentally, but which are you referring to?

Yes, makes sense. There's a bit of discomfort that I experience in answering questions about what I might call fringe groups that I belong to though. Not that the questions are bad or wrong, but because I feel as though I am speaking for my entire group.

For instance, I am a Buddhist in America. Not just in America but more specifically, a very conservative, very rural, evangelical Christian community. For most, I am the only Buddhist they will ever meet. So whatever I say Buddhism is, it'll likely be the only information that they use to form their opinion about Buddhism.

In the same way, while DID is more common than most might think, most of us don't advertise. And so, my personal experience with DID might be very different than someone else but in explaining my experience, even with this caveat, many people think they understand the DID experience via my personal explanation - when I am just one (or four, depending upon how you look at it) individual having an individual experience.

Nevertheless, I'm glad that you are asking questions.

Lessee...

Do you celebrate individual alters birthdays? (It is the body's b-day today)

I have Complex PTSD, within the past 4 years found that this was my diagnosis. It was triggered after finding my dad after his suicide, then past traumas came flooding in. Things I thought I had dealt with in the past.

A good friend is Buddhist and one of the kindest most understanding people I know. So with you saying you are I know for sure you are a kind person.

Like most things people explain something through their eyes and experience. It doesn't mean it's right or wrong information it's how they interpret their experience. I may explain my CPTSD, my symptoms, and they may be different that someone else but they are in fact my symptoms. So the thing is when someone explains their DID that's their experience and not something someone else would experience in the same way. I like to think I'm open and accepting of all people and that may be why I want to understand more about alters that I want to be able to understand when someone talks to me about them. If they need a shoulder to cry on I will have some idea on how to console them. In the past I've heard many say they didn't believe in multiple personalities, but I think that's unfair to label something untrue just because you can't use your senses to observe this condition. I didn't think people would mind answering the questions since this is a public forum and that they may want to be heard and want understanding from others. Maybe someone else will read these posts and get a better understanding themselves. Too many people are judging others these days and a lot of it comes from not knowing that person as a person. We all need to do better with that, I think
The birthday thing is a good question. Hope you get an answer.

Happy Birthday my alters did not have individual birthdays, everyone had the same birthday as the body. the way my system was comprised was because of the abusers code of do not tell. which means if my alters celebrated different birthdays then people would have noticed that they were there and that the extreme trauma/ abuses were happening\ had happened. telling secrets (the abuses/ trauma's) was not allowed by the abusers under threats of harm to me and my family. even after I was placed in foster care for my protection through out the prosecution of my abusers that abusers code of conduct off do not tell was held to. the type of extreme trauma/ abuse I went through created alters that self harmed and suicidal should secrets be told.

my point each alter celebrating different birthdays than the body would have resulted in disclosure of their existence and the trauma's abuses. not to mention it would have looked and sounded really weird as a child going to school and when triggered switched into an alter that said "todays my birthday, Im going to have cake when I get home" and then the next day or week at school getting triggered by something that resulted in dissociation to the extreme of alters and saying again "todays my birthday I'm going to have cake and ice cream and presents" can we say instant phone call from the school to my parents saying I was hallucinating and delusional.

theres other reasons too why my system did not celebrate birthdays other than the body such as their birthday (the dates of their creation/ coming into being) was the result of the extreme trauma\abuses/ emotions that they held for me because as a young child I was unable to deal with those things in a non dissociated state of mind. their celebrating their birthdates in my system would have been like celebrating being abused/ traumatized...can you see my alters now.... Rainy or any of the other alters in school saying todays my birthday I was born when this and that happened to Amandalouise.

my alters did not want to remember when they came into being and what caused them to come into being. they had their own jobs, purposes reasons for being created, how much control they had and other issues like this that make up what here where I am is called sense of agency. celebrating their creation and what led up to their creation was not part of that.

see what I mean, it would have been really strange all my life from the moment of their creation to the moment that they integrated if my alters celebrated different birthdays.

Happy Birthday Yagr!!! I hope your day is amazing! 

Trace, please forgive me for being rude and questioning your intentions. I have not been in a very good place for a few days and that is not something I would normally do. I need to put myself in time out from the forum when I am feeling that way.

It is very caring of you to want to understand, so that you can be a person of compassion for someone else. It is very hard to explain to someone what your internal world is like and how it was put together. Words are the hardest thing for me sometimes. It is very frustrating for me that there is no one in my life right now that understands, or that I have the words to explain for them to understand.

I have not been diagnosed. I’ve been working with a counselor for 3+ years, with the original reason being anxiety. It soon came clear that I was experiencing dissociation due to childhood emotional neglect and trauma, which continued into my adulthood. I don’t really consider myself to have “alters” but there are “parts of me” that I “feel” their emotions and can feel/hear (internally) their thoughts. There have been things that have happened, that I don’t have memory of and there have been times that I was like a passenger, witnessing/watching what was happening with no way to stop it.

The way that I see it is like there was an explosion, and I was shattered into pieces. I feel like I am in the process of going back and finding the pieces (parts of me) and helping them understand that the traumatic moment they are stuck in, is past. I try to show them compassion and understand why they are so afraid, then I want to unburden them and take them somewhere they feel safe. We have accomplished this with several parts and it is so freeing when it happens.

I agree that too many people judge, without understanding. I feel that I did that to you, and I again sincerely apologize.

As for the birthdays, I’ve never thought about it but thinking about it now, I don’t believe I would like to celebrate the day they were created. It seems that would be a sad day to me.

Question: How do other parts first appear to you?

[QUOTE=Trace14;5567165I didn't think people would mind answering the questions since this is a public forum and that they may want to be heard and want understanding from others. Maybe someone else will read these posts and get a better understanding themselves. Too many people are judging others these days and a lot of it comes from not knowing that person as a person. We all need to do better with that, I think [/QUOTE]

i agree there are too many people in this world that judge others, if there were not there would be no need for the discrimination laws

but I also wanted to point out that I have found its normal for people on psych central to make judgments. for some its their mental disorder telling them to beware, they are out to harm me. for others they have already been hurt in the worse situations possible so its normal to be on guard. its normal for people to put up their guard when someone who does not have the same mental disorder comes along and starts asking questions with out giving of their self.

I dont mind answering questions but I admit it does get to feeling uncomfortable when someone who does not have the same problems I do starts grilling me about my problem with out giving of themselves in the same respect. my mind starts with the judgmental questions... what is their motive, are they going to try and hurt me, what are they going to do with my answers, are they writing a research paper on DID, are they gearing up / leading up to taking what I tell them and perpetrating fraud with their own treatment providers...

these questions and more run rampant in me when someone who admits they do not have the disorder but are focusing on learning every little detail.

I also admit I was one of those people that came on psych central about 7 years ago like a windstorm, asking questions and overwhelming people wanting to know everything and wanting to supply everyone with all kinds of info, most of which people were not ready for. I learned to slow down, not only take but also give. let people get to know me and my problems. not to overwhelm people with my wanting to learn with constantly asking questions but not giving of myself. It was scary opening up to others but in the long run it went a long way is people not judging me and accepting me and my problems and yes over time people learned I had no ill will in my asking questions.

the best advice I have for people who want to learn and ask questions is not only ask questions about Dissociation and Dissociation disorders but also give of your self too. Dissociation is a problem that comes with many normal, mental and physical health problems so every human being at some point has experienced it. they may not know what it was called but its there people dont have to have DID to post in the dissociative forum so dont worry that you dont have DID. there are other ways to give of one self then being DID here.

question....

what advice do you give to people who want to know about yours or a dissociative problem/ disorder?

You were not rude at all. Don't even think that I know this may sound odd to some that I want to personally understand alters to be more compassionate with others that do. It's not that I'm researching for a paper or something I'm not in school, nor do I want to have alters or claim that I do. It's nothing like that at all. Like I said before if people understood alters maybe they would not be so judgmental of people that have them. You or anyone else is welcome to ask me anything about CPTSD and I will answer to my best ability. A lot of people don't know about CPTSD, especially since it's not in the DSM. We usually fall under a sub topic of PTSD.

I don't have alters, I don't think, I don't know if I would know and maybe that's just due to my not understanding but right now I feel pretty sure I don't.
I can relate to the "there was an explosion, and I was shattered into pieces" For me it's like I'm a puzzle that has been dumped on a table. Trying to get the pieces together to make the picture whole again. It's a lot of work though. I get my treatment through the VA. Do you? That's where I'm doing the PE therapy. That watching the life go by sounds like the detachment associated with PTSD. I explained mine as being in a bubble, just floating around watching the World carry one and I'm just an observer. Sound familiar. I also isolate a lot. My main communication with people is through the computer. Not the life I really want but I'm working on that

I'm very sorry for your loss, but frankly, I'm happy for your awakening. You seem like a person who is dealing with it head on and that can only lead to increased happiness.

I will try to live up to your faith in me, thank you.

Best reason I can think of. You sure you're not a Buddhist? j/k

Agreed.

I'll make this easy by answering my own question. June 24th is Sonseearae's birthday and it will be a party for the ages. We have big plans. Lori and Micah share the same b-day - February 27th and there are two parties on that day....they are too far apart in age to share a party. As for me....not so much of a big deal these days. Turned 52 today and all I wanted for my b-day was a nap.

Happy Birthday!!!! You are about to catch up with me LOL no not Buddhist just raised as a caring, non judging person, with respect for all life, I think my mom was a Shaman in a past life As far as dealing with Dad's death and all the other trauma's I want to feel better and get back to a life that I can enjoy and be happy again. I know it's going to take some work and going to be hard but have to keep my eye on the prize at the end.
Have a wonderful birthday!!!! Sounds like there are going to be a lot of partying coming up Enjoy!

New thread is here https://forums.psychcentral.com/diss...ml#post5569176