Originally Posted by lucidity11

Went to my psychiatrist to get my meds renewed, she asked me how I was doing and I dumped out what has been going on over the last three months. I usually say nothing I'm fine how are you. But I just dumped it all out. I felt good later and she was surprisingly responsive.

That's nice of her. My psychatrist for med management gives me that "more than I want to hear" stare followed by an instant change of subject like Goodbye. -_-

We are learning what boundries that we can take and some still to be pushed but to not cross that line with this bod which spells "freedom" to some of us.

[MobiusPsyche]

My little had been depressed and sad and really tired largely.

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

My little had been depressed and sad and really tired largely.

awww..... do you know why?

i hope the rest will take special care with the little one

(((((hugs)))

for the rest of the day today we have had mild suicidal thoughts (more extreme as the day went on)

even thought about harming ourselves but honestly too drained to do it

what happened yesterday
has some posts from our account yesterday that certainly we don't remember posting

hah.. i think someone else logged in and posted them (probably natalie)

we are still feeling suicidal today, but i am in the present. i am aware of everything happening so far

yay go me

actually not sure i do want to be in the present right now

feeling weak and suicidal sucks

yesterday didn't quite go to plan.

lots of gaps we need to fill in

well actually, more to the point, we know what we were meant to be doing (and think we probbaly did it), just none of us remember doing it

the only thing we remember for sure was our host getting freaked out by some purple lights

[lucidity11]

Was at work today and the mean girl was there all day. I just didn't want to deal with her. She was condescending and a little obnoxious. I thought it was Saturday so I went to leave work than she told me it was Wednesday. I work later on Wednesday. I felt embarrassed. I zoned out and bumbled my way through the rest of the day. I have a lot on my mind but I don't think that was what caused me to switch. I actually believe her behavior toward me and the fact that I really can't go back at her made me say **** it and leave. The next two hours are a haze.

[possum220]

The splits are kicking my butt and I am so exhausted. I just with they would stop.

feeling drained and so alone

I wish 1 thing could go right this week. just 1?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Losing way more time than I am comfortable with lately.... I believe I am sleeping?.. I mean I mostly remember going to bed and generally wake up in bed, but still feel ridiculously tired and zooked...then space out, lose more time..so Idk how much sleep am I actually getting?... too many triggers can't even keep track anymore...a lot of days I have just given up trying to even look at a clock anymore... I just give up! :frustrated:

[MobiusPsyche]

My little is feeling a bit better lately. Sleeping with my big teddy bear for several nights in a row seems to have helped soothe her.

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

My little is feeling a bit better lately. Sleeping with my big teddy bear for several nights in a row seems to have helped soothe her.

aww that's good!. i'm glad she's feeling better

just surviving over here

wish we didn't have too, but their we are

[L.P.]

i feel all over the place.

so far we have got a lot done today.

showered, laundry, etc

making ourselves productive

having some suicidal thoughts this afternoon.

only mild

having some problems with reality..

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

having some suicidal thoughts this afternoon.

only mild

having some problems with reality..

((((SHATTERED))))
HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Myself...Something has GOT TO GIVE!
This sleeping business is outta control! Every night I set multiple alarms and wake up to find they have been SHUT OFF!! Also get multiple missed calls every morning don't hear any of them?!!...I know that it could be possible to be doing all of this myself in my sleep...BUT EVERY NIGHT FOR LIKE 2WEEKS NOW??...That is completely unlike me!..and it's messing things up I have responsibilities I am supposed to be tending to in the AM..and I can't wake up before noon at the earliest..unless physically woken up...which if someone is around to do so is still no earlier than 10:30/11 and I'm supposed to be up by 9am!.. doesn't matter how early I think I'm going to bed...apparently someone is waking up at night...cuz I'm tired like I've barely slept at all when I get up around noon or 1pm....I gotta figure out who the heck is doing this!!...cuz it's not ok. And it's not just me it's affecting, other ppl are relying on me now too....This has got to STOP!!

I just went to the store and discovered I stayed inbody the entire time! My anxiety shot up to panic levels kicking off my DR which pretty much was a tranced out outing. Driving wasn't good thank God nobody got in my way.

I'm finally at home on my 3rd beer trying to settle down. I just want to sleep to Monday so that tbe guys can go to work.

[lucidity11]

having trouble with my job. having a lot of anxiety and self doubt. I never have self doubt. I don't like it. But the anxiety is making me miserable. I am pushing through it but right now I feel like I did bad at the job. I didn't but I keep thinking that way. Then it builds and builds until I can't move. I don't like this. not at all

[lucidity11]

I also don't want to have dissociation any more. I just don't want to know about it. It's too confusing and what does it all mean. I want to be who I was before all this when I could work and go outside and be in rooms with other people. I have had two anxiety attacks this past week while waiting with my son in the doctors office. Too many people, too much noise. Too too much.

[Luce]

I have a staff appraisal in a couple of days and I am struggling to stay grounded enough to write it, let alone speak it in front of others. So much lost time just trying to write the silly thing.

This year at work has been a total mess because of bully woman. We did a lot of inner work around the triggers for it recently but it still isn't helping. still find ourselves hiding in a cupboard in a state of terror.
oh boy this appraisal is gonna be a barrel of laughs.

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

((((SHATTERED))))
HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!

we're feeling slightly better.

yesterday, those "mild thoughts", turned in to more serious thoughts and feelings, and we ended up all over the place

today it is loud. very, very loud.

we want to stay focussed though

[magicalprince]

Soo much anger inside. So little support outside. I want a good T again. I'm so tired of not having resources. I'm still not ready for something to give but something's got to give.

*growls at the sterrio*

I have a trapped CD. ugg.

this is not what i need