[Luce]

hello. we are being very switchy. someone very hopeless wrote some things. then I came out. I don't know why. we are not doing very good today. we are supposed to be doing other stuff but we cant do it. someone wants to die very much.I feel a bit scared. we are trying to find something or someone but we cant find anything.

yesterday we watched a lot (a hell of a lot) of TV

our internet connection went down in the afternoon and we'd caught up on everything so we just ended up watching any old random stuff that was on

felt mostly good yesterday though- and today we had a bit of problem in the morning (talking), but we're not suicidal at the moment and that helps us a little

still no sleep though

[catman8989]

Was really disconnected yesterday. Today it's better. Hope everyone has a good day. Happy health.

[Luce]

Welcome catman.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Originally Posted by lucidity11

I am sorry to hear you are going through so much. I know how important sleep is. I have gone through periods of time when I slept four hours a night if lucky. I do have a part who likes sleep and when they are around we sleep quickly and get about 6 hrs. I only need about 6 hours. My t also told me about an herbal sleep aid called Melatonnian. It's non narcotic and works well. I use that when I start staying up until 2 and 3 am. Maybe that will help.

Thanx Lucidity
That's pretty much how things operate here as well. Finally got a good amount of deep uninterrupted sleep last night...but that always comes with a price to pay! Today's cost is foggy, fatigue, and mild nausea. yuck.
Have tried Melatonin before..ineffective for me at least. Yesterday had to take 2mgs of Klonopin in afternoon and another 2mgs @ approx. 12am before sleep was possible...not good. But sometimes just gotta do what works cuz if we had gone another day w/o sleep...be probably be starting to hallucinate by now! least we dodged that pitfall for now. *sigh*

OH yeah almost forgot!
Got the results back from the genome swabs today. Looking forward to next Pdoc visit to discuss the science behind all of it.

[catman8989]

Originally Posted by Luce

Welcome catman.

Thank you. I like nice welcomes.

[Luce]

Feel like I am hanging on by threads. Tiny little lifelines that don't really help at all, but I just lie in wait for the next one anyway. Because if I don't do that then there is nothing.
I don't like the thoughts that are rampaging through me. But they are all I have.

natalie (our angry dominant one) is convinced that we're being watched by the FBI, and is trying to get the rest of us on her side.

no idea where this suddenly came from. just

[Aardwolf]

We're not getting on well today at all.

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

Thanx Lucidity
That's pretty much how things operate here as well. Finally got a good amount of deep uninterrupted sleep last night...but that always comes with a price to pay! Today's cost is foggy, fatigue, and mild nausea. yuck.
Have tried Melatonin before..ineffective for me at least. Yesterday had to take 2mgs of Klonopin in afternoon and another 2mgs @ approx. 12am before sleep was possible...not good. But sometimes just gotta do what works cuz if we had gone another day w/o sleep...be probably be starting to hallucinate by now! least we dodged that pitfall for now. *sigh*

OH yeah almost forgot!
Got the results back from the genome swabs today. Looking forward to next Pdoc visit to discuss the science behind all of it.

I am glad to hear you got some sleep. Hope all the pdoc stuff works out

[Luce]

Have just come back from the new therapist - 2nd time I have seen her. Today I asked her what she knew about dissociative disorders... she said she has worked with quite a few people with disassociative disorders and in fact has several other disassociative clients currently, so although she wouldn't say call herself an expert in disassociation she has had 'quite a bit of experience'. I was understandably skeptical and asked her what her understanding of dissociation is. She summed up by saying "disassociation is what happens when you are remembering a traumatic event and lose touch with the here and now. 'You disassociate from what is going on around you.'" At which point I asked her if she knows any therapists in the area who specialize in treating clients with dissociative disorders.
Seriously people. Come on!

we are feeling calm.

just very depressed

Been feeling blah for a long time now.

yesterday was so depressing

no music, no tv, no noise at all.

that's how depressed we were

made a shocking confession about our family, which we feel pretty guilty about, but what ever

no sleep

feeling emotionally disturbed this morning

watched our soap opera and it involved a murder.

uggg

[Luce]

You okay, SS?

Originally Posted by Luce

You okay, SS?

not really, but what can we do

just pretend to survive, I suppose

we are all over the place today (though maybe that's exagerating,) but at least 3 of us have shown themselves in various situations (including a very angry natalie, who is not too pleased about what happened with the mental health worker and the FBI)

if you don't know what happened, check out the " other mental health discussion"

[Luce]

oy vey. I hope you can find your voice about that SS. Not cool.

[lucidity11]

Spent the day with my sister. Best time. I haven't done that enough.

[Luce]

Last night we skyped with our DID friend whom we haven't seen for nearly 20 years. For nearly 3 hours. It was wonderful. Just what we needed. We had forgotten how supportive it was to have a friend who 'knew'. Knew what it was like, knew about us, knew about the challenges, about everything. And we had forgotten what it is like to see it in someone else, and to be able to empathize and understand, because , well, you know too. And we had forgotten how empowering it was to normalize it. To not be a freak. To be okay in who(ever) you are, and know you don't have to pretend you're not switching, but you can just be, in whatever form that takes.
I am so grateful she contacted us. So many *good* changes for us in this week that has been, and things are going to get better now.

[catman8989]

Staying up late for the weekend cause I always do. Hearing all sorts but trying to ignore what he is saying.

I am so glad it went well for you, luce. did you organize to talk again?

catman, how late is late?

I stayed up all weekend too (or I have so far), because i've not been able to sleep

you know, because imsomnia's just like the coolest thing in the word, not

[Luce]

yes we are. How can you get some sleep? what is the block to sleeping?

today, alicia is especially happy

a couple of months ago, we pre-ordered her the dvd of the lion guard (I think their's only like 6 episodes on it), she really wants it to arive- it can't come quick enough for her.

not really any news for the rest of us. just the start of another average week