[Amyjay]

Urrgh, my session today was awful. So dissociative and switchy, I couldn't stay grounded at all. What a waste of time.

[Gr3tta_0]

I have so much going on and i want to get upset and cry about it to relieve some of the overwhelming-ness, but i just dont get to. I cried the other night but it wasn't me and it didn't help me feel better at all.

[TrailRunner14]

I called my mom to wish her a happy 4th. There is no emotional connection there.

I so wish there was.

Just saying.

[anais_anais]

I hope shattered sanity is ok somewhere

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

I hope shattered sanity is ok somewhere

I was thinking of SS just a bit ago. Me too!

[Solnutty]

Me too

[Solnutty]

My wonderful friend came to my therapy session today. My T wanted to meet her, since I trust her so much. Sire thought it was so strange to be speaking with two people who know him. He said it felt like a crowd my friend remembered so many things I had forgotten that it really highlighted my memory loss. It's amazing how much I forget about even the recent past. It was good, though, and validating. I feel very wealthy and very thankful.

The more aggressive male parts have been out most of the week...they take over and it feels so permanent at times....but now they left. Why?

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

I hope shattered sanity is ok somewhere

I hope so too

very very triggery week, mainly concerning family but other stuff too.

wednesday it got so bad we actually called a chrisis line (which we don't do too often), because to be honest, we find them to be unhelpfull (but that's another thread we may or may not post)

we are still very suicidal, and would very much like to end our lives

but we are here

[Solnutty]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

very very triggery week, mainly concerning family but other stuff too.

wednesday it got so bad we actually called a chrisis line (which we don't do too often), because to be honest, we find them to be unhelpfull (but that's another thread we may or may not post)

we are still very suicidal, and would very much like to end our lives

but we are here

I'm so deeply thankful that you are still here! If I could come over for coffee and hugs I would. You have my support

[Gr3tta_0]

Apparently, i never know whats going on. It makes me varying degrees of angry or upset.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

very very triggery week, mainly concerning family but other stuff too.


wednesday it got so bad we actually called a chrisis line (which we don't do too often), because to be honest, we find them to be unhelpfull (but that's another thread we may or may not post)


we are still very suicidal, and would very much like to end our lives


but we are here

I'm so happy to see your post.

My heart is sad for what you are having to deal with. ((( hug ))

I wish I could join Solnutty and come and sit with you. I'll imagine it in my mind.

Please take care!

[Amyjay]

I am glad to see you posting again Shattered Sanity but sorry to hear you have been feeling so awful. Is there anything we can do to help?

[Solnutty]

I'm starting graduate school today. I got through my undergrad stuff with good grades in the midst of a raging marijuana addiction, a very strange lifestyle, and obvious switching, so this should be easier, right? I'm the part dedicated to career and education and I'm glad I don't have to share this hat with any other parts. I'm nervous and excited because I love school. It was my one way of obtaining consistent praise as a child. Sire teases me, referring to school as my "sweet elixir." There are so many unknowns ahead. I guess we will just have to see how this goes.

Originally Posted by Solnutty

I'm starting graduate school today. I got through my undergrad stuff with good grades in the midst of a raging marijuana addiction, a very strange lifestyle, and obvious switching, so this should be easier, right? I'm the part dedicated to career and education and I'm glad I don't have to share this hat with any other parts. I'm nervous and excited because I love school. It was my one way of obtaining consistent praise as a child. Sire teases me, referring to school as my "sweet elixir." There are so many unknowns ahead. I guess we will just have to see how this goes.

it will be fine.

let us know how it goes

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I am glad to see you posting again Shattered Sanity but sorry to hear you have been feeling so awful. Is there anything we can do to help?

give me a magic potion where by I can drink it and restart life from scratch.

about the only thing I can think of.. thanks for your concern

[Solnutty]

My car keeps breaking down and I'm broke. Headaches much. So much to say, but I'm tired.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Solnutty

My car keeps breaking down and I'm broke. Headaches much. So much to say, but I'm tired.

(((Hug))) friend.

yesterday we watched a programme on dimentia.

this young boy filmed his grandad's life as he went through the diffrent phases of the illness

shocking programme.. it's all so sad

of course no sleep last night, and so far all we've done today is eat our bacon for breakfast.

that's how exciting our life is right now

bad, bad, and bad.

nothing needs doing, nothing we really want to do. guess that means we just sit here watching the world go by.

Possible trigger:

our abusers contacted us early this morning... so you dead yet?

urg. not yet, but don't worry, we are working on it. you'll get your wish soon

tomorrow we are meant to see our therapist at 2 PM but of course we're not because she's away... ugg

[Amyjay]

How long is your T away for shattered sanity? Do you have other support in place while T is gone?? I don't like the thought of you alone with your family contacting you like that. That doesn't seem very safe?

My T is leaving her practice in a few weeks and I am transitioning to a new T. It is very hard. Very very hard. There is a lot of switching and a lot of extreme reactions. I see new T for a short session each week to ease the transition. We don't want to leave T. ;(

[TrailRunner14]

**** Trigger *****

I'm in such a bad place.

My neighbors are messed up on drugs. Heroin. Other bad stuff.

It started last week. We stepped and took care of the kids. They are 18 and 14.

We cleaned up the house and they were in a safe place.

They were so tired of going through the craziness of it.

The parents got bonded out and came home. They promise they are going to make better choices.

My heart is screaming/crying.

I can't do anything.

My heart is very sad.

Been very very very busy with work and mother who is leaving this coming Sunday