Originally Posted by Amyjay

How long is your T away for shattered sanity? Do you have other support in place while T is gone?? I don't like the thought of you alone with your family contacting you like that. That doesn't seem very safe?

My T is leaving her practice in a few weeks and I am transitioning to a new T. It is very hard. Very very hard. There is a lot of switching and a lot of extreme reactions. I see new T for a short session each week to ease the transition. We don't want to leave T. ;(

the only support I have accept for her is here.

I know that sucks, it sucks big time, but what can I do?

if people hadn't spent their entire time invalidating me and treating me like dirt, maybe i'd have more support

it's that simple

crap day yesterday, accept for a cd ariving of relaxation music (a CD we don't remember even ordering)

crap day today so far

all this lost time is really freaking us out.

we're so confused

Mother just bussed out this morning. A few of us is glad to see her go, others not. I think she gets us somewhat, but yet not.

[Gr3tta_0]

I hate not remembering

[Amyjay]

I hate the day to day memory problems and not being able to keep track of anything but I have very mixed feelings about remembering abuse stuff.

I wrote an email to my T and she came back with a really really nice response. it was hard. Because it feels like it can't be real or authentic. Why would she say such nice things? How could they even be real???

[TrailRunner14]

It's after 1. I hate night time. I can't calm myself.

I know I need to go to be but I don't want to.

Today was so good with my family. I hate how this comes in.

It makes me so angry.

I'm going to go to bed.

Night.

[Amyjay]

Very triggered. Want to write to email t and tell her I quit. I don't want to go to therapy. I want to tell her I lied. I want to tell her it was me pretending to be an other. I want to tell her there are no others here. I want to tell her nothing happened. I am scared. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't like where this is going. I just want to live a normal life without any of this. None of this is real. I want it all to go away.

[anais_anais]

I am so sad

Brrrr it was hot today. 93 here with no clouds. It's amazing how we can block out discomfort and pain.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

I am so sad

(((Hug))). I hope you are feeling better.

[Solnutty]

I'm still here. Missing this forum and all of you.

like the poster above, still here

very little has happened to make our lives worthwhile, (you start the day, you do nothing, the day ends and you struggle to sleep), that's our days, but sometimes good things happen.. like today we got a new digital tv channel we wanted and it made us smile

[anais_anais]

I am still sad

I think I did a good job the past few days distracting myself. Today is harder to do that.

I haven't had much issue with switching or losing time lately. But that means that I feel everything.

The anniversary date of the fire is coming soon and both my therapists are away for the month.

Originally Posted by anais_anais

I am still sad

I think I did a good job the past few days distracting myself. Today is harder to do that.

I haven't had much issue with switching or losing time lately. But that means that I feel everything.

The anniversary date of the fire is coming soon and both my therapists are away for the month.

that's going to be difficult to handle.
well I hope that during that month you will come on here and talk when need to.

this is why we are here

as for us, well, it looks like we're going to be looking for our 10th therapist

quoting an email we got from our current therapist yesterday:

Possible trigger:

hi,

I am back now from holiday.

how have you been the last few weeks?

this is just a quick email to say that i've been thinking, and I don't think I can work with you anymore, it's just not working for me. your life is so complicated.

well, yep, it is.. and believe it or not, that's why we have a therapist.

we're not going to bother responding, as we now know it's over

back to square 1

looking for our 10th therapist

Yep, still here. Just not enthused about posting much anymore. It seems like the med reduction has taken the joy out of most things, but it is neccessary.

[Sarah Bee]

Wish we could sleep through the night for once. Always tired, dragging our feet. Trying to sort out lots of internal stuff, even leaving little messages for each and every part, which was nice...

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

as for us, well, it looks like we're going to be looking for our 10th therapist


quoting an email we got from our current therapist yesterday:

Possible trigger:

hi,


I am back now from holiday.


how have you been the last few weeks?


this is just a quick email to say that i've been thinking, and I don't think I can work with you anymore, it's just not working for me. your life is so complicated.

well, yep, it is.. and believe it or not, that's why we have a therapist.


we're not going to bother responding, as we now know it's over


back to square 1


looking for our 10th therapist

I'm so sorry that happened to you! Sounds like someone you don't need to work with anyway!

I hope you can find one that specializes in DID and understands how how complicated it really is.

(((Hug))). Friend.

[anais_anais]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

that's going to be difficult to handle.
well I hope that during that month you will come on here and talk when need to.

this is why we are here

Thank you SS. I think I will be here A LOT.

I post mostly in the psychotherapy forum

I am blasting them all away with my persistant and continuing presence.

[Amyjay]

I am supposed to go see the new therapist but I don't want to. We are supposed to meet just for 15 minutes but i don't want to go to her room and I don't want to talk to her. I want to stop therapy when my t leaves and not see anybody.

I'm here at work trying to figure what's really going on...like maybe my head is making up these others and playing the parts. I wonder if it could do that.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

I'm so sorry that happened to you! Sounds like someone you don't need to work with anyway!

I hope you can find one that specializes in DID and understands how how complicated it really is.

(((Hug))). Friend.

I hope so too.

but from past experiences, it's not going to be easy.

I often feel no one really wants to work with us at all

[Sarah Bee]

we're mostly doing ok, but that's on the outside. inner stuff is different and we feel guilty that some of us don't feel so good when things seem to be going well for the people who are fronting

[TrailRunner14]

Well.

Husband had issues at work today. I went for a walk and came home to them.

Of course he said that he doesn't bring work home, but, there it was. Hum.

Not me right now. He went to bed wondering what was wrong.

Whatever.

Hopefully I can come down from this and get some sleep. This sucks!