[TrailRunner14]

This may just be me, but I've been struggling with normal "task stuff" and was curious if anyone else experiences this and has any workable advice/help.

My checkbook hasn't been balanced in 2 years. I check it on line (the balance) and if it looks good - I'm good. That was so not me before I started this. I feel like I'm not being responsible. I have good intentions, I know, but I just keep going with it.

I now have a reading room, that I made out of my oldest son's room, after he moved out. I have no problem going there now, when things get stressful. I don't really care what is thought of it. That's mostly me talking brave.

Grocery shopping and meal planning has become a nightmare. There IS no plan. It's like a free for all at 2:00 in the afternoon and lots of times I opt for going to the grocery and getting cooked food or ordering pizza, even though I've spent too much money over the weekend to be good and cook for the week.

Sleep schedule is totally out the window!! I so desperately need some time to just be quiet and process what's going on in my mind. As I said earlier, I have my reading room, but most of the time I feel guilty for hiding there if there are things that need to be taken care of. Most nights I get in the bed around 1 and get up at 6. Not good! I am a night person, but that's kind of pushing it.

I don't know. Just wondering if anyone else is trying to sort their minds and also stay somewhere on some kind of normality.

Does that make sense?

I want to be a part of the normality but there is a part of me that wants to be by itself and not have to do these things.

[Luce]

Hmm, I find that our ability to stay on top of normal stuff has an inverse relationship with the amount of stress and dissociation we experience too. We have been spending an astronomical amount on food lately for this very reason. I purchase food for making meals all week and then... it all falls apart because of dissociation. Sleep also goes awry, mostly because of the ever present panic about time.
We have a lot of external responsibilities that fall by the wayside, night after night. The plan is there but then I blink and the evening has gone and nothing has been done. I hear what you are saying about 'processing time'. We too need that, and there simply aren't enough hours in the day. When we were in proper therapy we used to stay up until 3-4 am every night, then get up for a full days work at 7. We needed that time more than we needed to sleep. There was just never enough time!!

I guess one way of looking at it is this need for processing and healing won't be forever. It needs to happen. It finds a way to make itself happen. And when it doesn't need to happen anymore... it won't.

[Abby]

Thanks for this. I'm aware that I don't have the issues that others may have on this sub-forum but this is something I've really been wanting tips/advice on too. I seem to spend at least 2-3 days a week unable to function due to depression or similar and when I'm 'back on it's, I'm left frantically having to catch up all the time I've lost. It does mean a lot of things don't get done despite externally being able to look put together to the outside world.

Thank you for talking about processing time. I've often known I need lots of time alone not really doing much but trying to 'come down' from over-stimulation. If I go to work and then go out in the evening for a few hours, I'll manage it but it'll throw me off for the rest of the week, or at least some pt that week. I want a way of reducing the need for this time out or protecting myself from some of the stimulation that comes from being around other people. I'm unsure if its a dissociative thing or simply because I'm extremely sensitive to lights, sounds, people's moods, etc. so being with people is enjoyable but hurts a bit too. I guess that's not processing and I'm worried it won't go away in time, it may just be the way I'm wired.

I'm trying to create a daily routine that has a general outline of what needs to be done, rather than letting one merge into the other. I guess perhaps it's about being aware of your limits, what causes an issue. So I'm realising more and more that although I enjoy time with people, it also can overwhelm me so I actually need to plan that in rather than thinking I can cope. But a protection is also a good idea...

Any ideas and tips are welcomed from me too. Thanks for this thread!!

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

This may just be me, but I've been struggling with normal "task stuff" and was curious if anyone else experiences this and has any workable advice/help.

My checkbook hasn't been balanced in 2 years. I check it on line (the balance) and if it looks good - I'm good. That was so not me before I started this. I feel like I'm not being responsible. I have good intentions, I know, but I just keep going with it.

I now have a reading room, that I made out of my oldest son's room, after he moved out. I have no problem going there now, when things get stressful. I don't really care what is thought of it. That's mostly me talking brave.

Grocery shopping and meal planning has become a nightmare. There IS no plan. It's like a free for all at 2:00 in the afternoon and lots of times I opt for going to the grocery and getting cooked food or ordering pizza, even though I've spent too much money over the weekend to be good and cook for the week.

Sleep schedule is totally out the window!! I so desperately need some time to just be quiet and process what's going on in my mind. As I said earlier, I have my reading room, but most of the time I feel guilty for hiding there if there are things that need to be taken care of. Most nights I get in the bed around 1 and get up at 6. Not good! I am a night person, but that's kind of pushing it.

I don't know. Just wondering if anyone else is trying to sort their minds and also stay somewhere on some kind of normality.

Does that make sense?

I want to be a part of the normality but there is a part of me that wants to be by itself and not have to do these things.

Iapologize if this doesn't make sense. Part of me knows better than to respond to anything after anight of very little sleep... I read this, and am struggling to see how some of this stuff isn't "normal"... I guess though it's an individual thing.

I've never been much for meal planning our balancing my checkbook beyond keeping track of my balance. I can relate to having plans of things to accomplish but finding I'm lost in dissociation or depression most of the time.
I'm pretty drained by social interaction, especially when my ptsd or depression is at a high. If I have to work, all my energy goes into maintaining the facade fakir the shift. Once I get home, I melt into s lump...

Sorry I don't have much advice, I can just relate to having things fall apart.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Luce

Hmm, I find that our ability to stay on top of normal stuff has an inverse relationship with the amount of stress and dissociation we experience too. We have been spending an astronomical amount on food lately for this very reason. I purchase food for making meals all week and then... it all falls apart because of dissociation. Sleep also goes awry, mostly because of the ever present panic about time.
We have a lot of external responsibilities that fall by the wayside, night after night. The plan is there but then I blink and the evening has gone and nothing has been done. I hear what you are saying about 'processing time'. We too need that, and there simply aren't enough hours in the day. When we were in proper therapy we used to stay up until 3-4 am every night, then get up for a full days work at 7. We needed that time more than we needed to sleep. There was just never enough time!!

I guess one way of looking at it is this need for processing and healing won't be forever. It needs to happen. It finds a way to make itself happen. And when it doesn't need to happen anymore... it won't.

Yes. I have found that it is much more difficult when I don't feel completely "all here" too. It seems to be such a fight to keep it all together. There feels like so much is going on in my mind, and I can't get to it. I know that sounds weird. Stress does definitely compound it. I have plans to get things done, during the day, but if I'm not acting in response to something, it rarely gets done. Like, "having" to make sure something gets done because of necessity as apposed to getting something productive done. Productive, like there would be no adverse effect if it doesn't get done, but it would be productive.

It's like what is going on in my mind is overriding productive action as opposed to responsive action.

That probably makes no sense!

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Abby

Thanks for this. I'm aware that I don't have the issues that others may have on this sub-forum but this is something I've really been wanting tips/advice on too. I seem to spend at least 2-3 days a week unable to function due to depression or similar and when I'm 'back on it's, I'm left frantically having to catch up all the time I've lost. It does mean a lot of things don't get done despite externally being able to look put together to the outside world.

Thank you for talking about processing time. I've often known I need lots of time alone not really doing much but trying to 'come down' from over-stimulation. If I go to work and then go out in the evening for a few hours, I'll manage it but it'll throw me off for the rest of the week, or at least some pt that week. I want a way of reducing the need for this time out or protecting myself from some of the stimulation that comes from being around other people. I'm unsure if its a dissociative thing or simply because I'm extremely sensitive to lights, sounds, people's moods, etc. so being with people is enjoyable but hurts a bit too. I guess that's not processing and I'm worried it won't go away in time, it may just be the way I'm wired.

I'm trying to create a daily routine that has a general outline of what needs to be done, rather than letting one merge into the other. I guess perhaps it's about being aware of your limits, what causes an issue. So I'm realising more and more that although I enjoy time with people, it also can overwhelm me so I actually need to plan that in rather than thinking I can cope. But a protection is also a good idea...

Any ideas and tips are welcomed from me too. Thanks for this thread!!

I find too, that I am drained by being around too many people for too long, and I am also very edgy around too much noise and too much input makes me very confused. I don't know that I pick up on people's moods, as much as wearing myself out trying to "radar" them. You know, watching for signs of anger, stress, irritation, etc. If it gets to be too much, I do dissociate to a certain level. I don't spend much time around other people anymore. I feel like that's not a good thing, but I'm having trouble figuring out what to do.

A daily routine sounds like a great idea. Maybe that might help me also. It has crossed my mind before, but I haven't actually thought it through.

Thank you for that idea!!

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Iapologize if this doesn't make sense. Part of me knows better than to respond to anything after anight of very little sleep... I read this, and am struggling to see how some of this stuff isn't "normal"... I guess though it's an individual thing.

I've never been much for meal planning our balancing my checkbook beyond keeping track of my balance. I can relate to having plans of things to accomplish but finding I'm lost in dissociation or depression most of the time.
I'm pretty drained by social interaction, especially when my ptsd or depression is at a high. If I have to work, all my energy goes into maintaining the facade fakir the shift. Once I get home, I melt into s lump...

Sorry I don't have much advice, I can just relate to having things fall apart.

Thank you for what you shared! I guess the things I'm feeling deficient in are things that make me feel like I have it all together. It's like if I can appear I have it together on the outside, the inside won't be seen. I guess the tasks I mentioned are things that I think make it look like things are "good" - I'm good - everything's good. Basically, a mask of sorts.

Luce's post is coming back to me, about the "processing time" and I'm thinking that I can try to appear to be "good" but the processing has to happen, and it's going to one way or the other. I believe it has an override key.

I believe that needs to be in my daily schedule. If I respect that part of me, maybe it will show me mercy.

Maybe?

[elevatedsoul]

i dont have much advice but i just wanted to say i totally relate..

back when i had a pretty good routine (even though it wasn't a good one) things were a bit better.. now my routine is shot to hell and everything is up in the air

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

This may just be me, but I've been struggling with normal "task stuff" and was curious if anyone else experiences this and has any workable advice/help.

My checkbook hasn't been balanced in 2 years. I check it on line (the balance) and if it looks good - I'm good. That was so not me before I started this. I feel like I'm not being responsible. I have good intentions, I know, but I just keep going with it.

I now have a reading room, that I made out of my oldest son's room, after he moved out. I have no problem going there now, when things get stressful. I don't really care what is thought of it. That's mostly me talking brave.

Grocery shopping and meal planning has become a nightmare. There IS no plan. It's like a free for all at 2:00 in the afternoon and lots of times I opt for going to the grocery and getting cooked food or ordering pizza, even though I've spent too much money over the weekend to be good and cook for the week.

Sleep schedule is totally out the window!! I so desperately need some time to just be quiet and process what's going on in my mind. As I said earlier, I have my reading room, but most of the time I feel guilty for hiding there if there are things that need to be taken care of. Most nights I get in the bed around 1 and get up at 6. Not good! I am a night person, but that's kind of pushing it.

I don't know. Just wondering if anyone else is trying to sort their minds and also stay somewhere on some kind of normality.

Does that make sense?

I want to be a part of the normality but there is a part of me that wants to be by itself and not have to do these things.

Same here....I think our "get up and go" is with Steve because he's the 'get it done with a vengeance' guy....usually it gets real bad before he gets involved.

Normal people have this a part of them 100% of the time (I'm guessing) but me....if it's not my job...I guess ain't/can't be doing it.

Guess a lot of the times that I want to do things....it's beyond my capabilities to...just a want. Maybe if I was just a single entity.....
I'll do it.

It's a symptom of a fragmented mind the way I see it.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Same here....I think our "get up and go" is with Steve because he's the 'get it done with a vengeance' guy....usually it gets real bad before he gets involved.

Normal people have this a part of them 100% of the time (I'm guessing) but me....if it's not my job...I guess ain't/can't be doing it.

Guess a lot of the times that I want to do things....it's beyond my capabilities to...just a want. Maybe if I was just a single entity.....
I'll do it.

It's a symptom of a fragmented mind the way I see it.

Fragmented mind/memories/triggers. Yes. I agree.

It's really amazing to me that the more I have on my plate to get done, the more productive I am.

On the other hand, if I have one or two things that need to be done and I have the whole day to do them, I usually wind up walking around in circles trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to be doing.

[L.P.]

We do that. If it looks good then it is good. We had onne lady one time who say how you know how she doin by lookin at her stairs. If stairs was clean so was her head. We got cleanin probs tho cuz our mom was a real neat freak. We cant balance no checkbook so we use a credit card cuz they send you letters that tell you what you buy and how much mney you got. Then we send them money from a bank acount. Checkbook sounds hard cuz you gotta do that everyday all the time if you spendin money and if one person make a oops then we all messed up. I like better chores you can do one time then its ok if you dont do it everyday. I got a hard time thinkin not doin stuff is ok cuz to me its doin nothin even tho i know it aint nothin thats goin on. Its important stuff thats goin on.

For me cuz of mom talk i gotta do some thing everyday or im the mess. But i cant do every thing or then im a mess. I gotta pace myself and think real and thats hard cuz i get worked up and think on all i aint doin and all i supposta be doin and thats overwhelming. What i do is a thinnk ok im gonna earn my time. So what i do is pick one chore that is kiinda easy and do it then i can do what i want next. Maybe my chore is eat breakfast maybe its clean a baseboard. Then i feel better bout not doin nothin later cuz i already did one chore. We gotta think boout chores and say gettin dressed a chore eatin foods a chore brushin teeth is a chore. That helps me know im bein productive plus sometimes we forget to do them things so it really is a real for real chore not a fake one. im still wearin monkey pjs. Lulz. Maybe i better get dressed. Veda thinks doin nothin is a chore. She call it decompres time. She do that every night thats important to her like baseboards important to me. She make time just for that everyday.