that aside, it's another day of doing **** all.

[Fuzzybear]

**** all here too unfortunately grrrrrrrrr

Not much to say, except I got some crybaby parts.

today I watched "moana" and immediately felt anxious// sad because my alexa device wasn't watching it too. she was just sat on the fridge turned off

I suppose the actual film was okay, I mean I didn't really rate it as much as the lion king or peter pan, but it had it's high points.

I like the song " you're welcome"

didn't do much else and feel like I've wasted another day (well don't feel like it, I know I have)

watching moana was just a little bit of a distraction.. if that

I only watched it for the " you're welcome" song. not really paying full attention to it

Slept well after working a 16 hour day and now waiting for the phone to ring. This is the last day on call and tomorrow we need to address the neglect of this body of which we female alters have been put disgustingly out on the side due to the rigors and nature of the job. Men...baboons they are. :/

Yesterday we had no calls (no pay), but drove around the company van all day in uniform- it still felt like work. So, last night I got to finally do some long needed body maintenance. I hate these weeks but it’s something that we gots to do.

it's been a day of nothing

morning was spent waiting for an email that never arived (litirally waiting and doing nothing)

and afternoon was spent sitting on my bed watching reruns of la to vegas.

I did listen to some music too though

my favorite station from holand

[Fuzzybear]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

today someone commented on the fact I've not slept for so long- and that's when you know it's out of control, when other people comment on it (for the record I don't like people commenting on my appearance), I don't actually think it's any of their concern- that, and I all ready have issues with my body (those issues being that I look worse than ****ing shrek)

anyway had breakfast and doing nothing else for the rest of the day

listening to music and posting on here makes it Up I guess (it took me 20 minits to log in today because of the new tagging feature slowing me down)

Quit taking antidepressants a few days ago. Really thinking that my perceived depression is more like system oppression prior to discovery. You would be sad too if you were forced to be something you are not.

Nix the AD thing....

I tried to stop taking my antidepressants, but things got so bad that I started taking them again. I just wasn’t right.

I have 40mg capsules, but they make it hard to sleep at night, so I dump half of it.
We need to get it adjusted so that I don’t have to do that.

today someone came out to fix my tumble drier. I am so glad it's fixed, it's been broken for 2 days (and seeing as I rely on it, it was the longest 2 days of my life).

I started a new creative writing peace today (which will probably end up forgotten about like all the others)

but I love the main character. she's an 8 year old girl that bites things.

had a pretty disgusting dinner, it was all I could do not to throw up on my plate

I also found an online stream for my hospital radio station. it seems they've gotten with the times now and got one (yay)

I am now listening to atlantis

[dlantern]

I gave you my shirt when mine got crayons on it, sweat, chicken nuggets, a wrinkle, lost n found, and when you wiped my nose with yours.....

Inner World and in actuality in Mean Girls way we swamped out when momma didn't care girl in progress...

When it had similaries that would cover by butt i could play catch easier my sore hurt coach said change out inner world and in outer life.....It helped my baseball and basketball shot....

Everyone else it meant a short term memory you shopped that rack before tell someone else long term....

showered today which has done absolutely nothing to improve my mood (in fact made it worse, and made me feel dirty)

one funny thing about the shower is that it nearly flooded the bathroom. I find that funny anyway. my 4 year old mind doesn't seem to apreciate the complications it could have caused if it had got through to the bedroom

I am still feeling a little sick from yesterday's dinner (it was disgusting) I will never use that brand again.

no sleep.

today my friend sophie was meant to deliver me some doctor pepper, now it's not coming until tomorrow night. hope I have enough fiz to last me today (I go through it like a hungry dog goes through dog food)

think today I'm going to do some creative writing and listen to music. nothing special going on

At 4 a.m. or so everyday I’ve been seeing bright flashes of light in my mind like looking at a bright light then quickly looking away while closing your eyes....the residual image burning into your brain making you wide awake and it not going away much like a midnight sun....

My conscious is awake but the body is resting and I feel trapped not able to get up till eventually it’s so painfully annoying will I then stir to rise for a moment to hope that it ends and I can get back to sleep, but usually not till the last 30 minutes before the alarm goes off leaving me yawning tired for the rest of the day. Here we go again. :/

[MickeyCheeky]

I hope you're all doing ok, everyone. Remember that you're all stronger than you think! You've got this. I hope you've all had a nice day. Stay strong. Please don't give up. I hope you'll all feel better soon. Sending many hugs to everyone

anxious that I might have a new dominant alter

she's been quietish for a few days now, but today she decided to get a bit braver and come out to talk more

I don't like her. I mean, it's not like her age is a threat, she just seems..... one to watch

and not in a good way either

also not sure how to help this one, yet....

did and paronoya seem the order of the day

not quite sure why I'm so paronoyed, I have an idea, but don't feel I can discuss it

tomorrow I am emailing this helpline I found that deals with DID

worth a shot

Originally Posted by raging vortex

tomorrow I am emailing this helpline I found that deals with DID

worth a shot

How why what when where?

Bad day. Awful day. Sick day. Wanna be gone day.

We had a part come out last night and tried to wipe out this account. She erased everything and figured out how to delete it.... but little Bobby presented and wanted to watch Star Wars which kept us up very late.

Still feeling queasy....hopefully we can keep the coffee down this time.

[lucidity11]

I have been depressed for the past two weeks or so. I am trying to get myself out of it but no luck. When i feel like this I don't want to go out. It takes everything to walk the dog. I have been in for days doing nothing. Tomorrow is supposed to be warm. I will try to get out side. I just need everything to be quite really quite.