not been around for the past 3 days so litirally don't know how things are

I can only go on things i'm told about, that the toddler alter did this, the toddler alter did that, etc, honestly i'm so ****ing depressed and fed up with life I'm not too surprised

apparently I was also here last night, I don't remember

someone cleared out my notifications

just going through the motions today

nothing special or exciting`

lost a lot of time too today

so yeah

[dlantern]

Is terribly concerned with folks in desperate need to talk parenting when you already have associated what happened. I was just in a class and all they talked about is parents and what happened while little . I know it is good to heal and share but at when are you compromising all of your wreckless with those who might be watching and reading. My pdoc toldme it isn't necessary to tear down with story after story some things truly are for phone not to be put on here unless in dire emergencies

feel like crap and certainly won't be doing much.

I am having takeout tonight though

Son triggered us last night late. Was so upset went got more alcoholic. Too tired now and going to work.

Also weighed self and discovered to be ten pounds heavier.

the takeaway was nice (and big!)

we had pizza, garlic bread (2 helpings), and chicken wings

didn't do much afterwards- average night of no sleep and too many thoughts

watched the curse of the mitus box today and recorded some other movies for later

but again, not doing anything and just going through the motions

feel pretty ****ing depressed

Really still in bed after eating breakfast...more to just stay prone instead of being up and at it like we have been all week long.

i've lost my ring and have no idea where it is.

was in my room last night, now it's gone

no where to be seen

it's sooo weird and I'm very depressed about it.

it's a special ring to me- I actually got it from one of my perfume bottles, and it fits my baby finger perfectly

Possible trigger:

I hit myself in the face a few times today because I was so angry about it

and upset.

still no ring.

still upset

someone suggested to me today that one of the insiders could have moved it- put it somewhere safe

but so far no joy getting anyone to admit that

probably because no one moved it

today marks a bit of a milestone for me (I say a bit, this is really important for me)

today, febuary 28th 2019, marks 1 year since I've had any type of physical abuse.

I thought today would be really hard on me, because of the memories, but actually I'm okay about it

I was going to treat myself later but I don't think it's happening now (not because of mood or anything, other things out of my control)

Possible trigger:

on this very day, a year ago, someone held a knife to my throat and only let go because his phone rang and he needed to answer it.

I could have been dead then.

but I'm here

deffenetly a less than average day yesterday, showered and felt gross, food was poor, and motivation was limited

had a nice meeting with someone about mental health care but that was all

boring today today so far too.

half 12 and I've done nothing all morning

Possible trigger:

yesterday someone threatened to kill me because I asked her if she wouldn't mind closing a door because it was cold outside

what an extreme reaction

wow

Happy Mardi Gras!

The littles just dying to go to the parades, the youngsters wants to go party with the crowds, the older ones wants to go drinking, but I’m taking a nap (were on call).

[lucidity11]

I have been going in and out. Trying to stay in the world. not easy without a purpose. I am trying to focus on myself, my physical and mental health. I am trying to find a place where I know I will be for a few years. Today is an odd day. I feel like crying, self harming, running away but I am not sure why. What is brewing that causes me to think and feel this way. I feel angry that I am talking about this. but nobody knows it's us so everything is still ok. I need more light and to be outside more. It's too cold right now. I realize that without having something to focus on I become too drawn into my mind. there is so much conversation. It takes time to sort it. so I don't. I just try to do something to cause me to focus. such as writing this. I think this helped

not been able to post much (lots of people taking over)

generally not coping with life and at a complete standstill.

still feels like every day is groundhog day and every night is a complete waste of time because we're just not sleeping.

one of our best friends is in florida for another week, and another is in

Possible trigger:

the hospital because she broke her anckle and they are saying at 55, she might now need to think about a nursing home

barely any contact with anyone and nothing to really get excited about

plus side is that I did have some pancakes this week for march 5th (pancake day), they were very nice with sugar and lemmon on

but yeah. feel blah mostly

I found this quote from another thread that I find funny, but so absolutely true:

“We are choosing to respond,we are not obligated to,if we get tired of you we could stop responding...”

Yes, I can tell

I’ve the “tiredness” in my behalf for a long while now for the lack of interests in my posts. Sorry...the same happens here in real life....and I don’t even have to say a word.

I’m done. Just the same o same o.

Too much of a nut job. Back into the closet we go.

Best wishes and healing to all.

-AC2

[Rive1976]

Nice to call people in need of help nut jobs!

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Nice to call people in need of help nut jobs!

Knowing AC, they will be talking about themselves, not you or anyone else on here.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I found this quote from another thread that I find funny, but so absolutely true:

“We are choosing to respond,we are not obligated to,if we get tired of you we could stop responding...”

Yes, I can tell

I’ve the “tiredness” in my behalf for a long while now for the lack of interests in my posts. Sorry...the same happens here in real life....and I don’t even have to say a word.

Not tired of you, AC.
Sometimes I think people are just dealing with too much of their own weird stuff to respond to much of anything.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I found this quote from another thread that I find funny, but so absolutely true:

“We are choosing to respond,we are not obligated to,if we get tired of you we could stop responding...”

Yes, I can tell

I’ve the “tiredness” in my behalf for a long while now for the lack of interests in my posts. Sorry...the same happens here in real life....and I don’t even have to say a word.

hey,I just now saw this.You quoted me.I'm sorry if you feel anyone is tired of you.What I said was specifically for the person I was responding to.I hope you don't think that I am tired of you and you meant that in a general sense.

Nobody is tired of you at all.Not at all.

[Betty_Banana]

Now I feel bad AC2.

I'm sorry if your posts have been ignored.I admit I have been bad for not reading much or responding,I just do here and there.I am going to go read yours and respond now.