[wrenchergirl]

Is there anyone else that is or thinks they are integrated at any level? I've been through many years of therapy and treatments for DID and I'm pretty sure that I'm as integrated as I'll ever be. But parts are still there. And I have a feeling a new memory/memories from a part that was mostly quiet previously is "brewing". Has anyone had this experience? Does anyone have any comments about if this is even possible? I do know there are different ways that people integrate and that some people never integrate but live well functioning with DID. I guess I'm feeling something going on in my head and I'm not sure what yet. I'm just starting to look for a therapist here. I just moved. Anyway, thanks for listening all.

wrenchergirl

[Kiya]

um, i think my youngest has integrated with me. i am co-conscious with most the others...... i do feel like there is something/one new working her way into being. I hear her waaaay back in the back and man is she ever fiesty. nothing like that (in adult form) has ever shown up. And look out world if she does... maybe she'd be good for me. I can be so quiet a lot of people call me a mouse.

[wrenchergirl]

The feisty, loud, or out-going parts always scared me. But, you know, you're right. They can be good for you. I've never been able to verbalize this until now, but I understand now what my T meant that they don't go away. They really do add to who you already are. I can actually feel enjoyment of doing things since my littles have integrated.

[Zorah]

hey there wrenchergirl

we have become mostly co-conscious, so all the parts do remember stuff, but that's really not the same as merging, we don't think they will ever merge completely

we also are having far much more fun since the littles became co-conscious with us, we are still a little scared of the angries though & we don't always be able to control them.

Some new memories just came out for me.. though not new.. cannot explain the very strange feeling.. or what it truely means.. because I am confused about it myself..

Co-consious is what I want.. and have pretty much unless under alot of duress... then things happen...that make me realize that I do not have the co-consious when extremely stressed..

So my T.. believes that integration is possible - that is his goal... not mine... in fact I tell him.. no is not what I want..

my goal.. is to "feel" better.. to not be in so much pain..

and he said he fully integrated one person.. and I believe him... cause he is good...

[Zorah]

{{{{{freewill}}}}}

yes, our co-consciousness breaks down when we are very stressed too

we don't believe we will ever integrate fully, but we could be wrong

you are very lucky to have a T with experience in this field