Integration

I'm wondering if one of my alters, Cassandra, and I have integrated.

It happened quite recently. I was sitting on the train station in Geneva and I realised things were different. She is a part of me, she is me, but I am me too, and she is her, we just are one. She is still there. But we work as one.

Am I just imagining, is this temporary, is this even possible?

I'm not in therapy. My psych nurse says I'm too "weak" mentally to go to psychotherapy. Though I think she is just saying. I'm not really like that, she might think I'm on the brink of psychosis but really I'm not.

She has a tough time believing that, but maybe eventually she will realise.

Whatever comes to the integration, if I may call it such, things are proceeding smoothly. If this is integration, it is very lucky for us, Cassie is "the dangerous one" in our system, and it seems that this has balanced her anger and her behaviour.

I'm still amazed. I don't know how it came to this. I know everybody is seeing the change but they think it's just because of my trip to Switzerland, and they probably expect it to wear off

Thanks for any input :-)

I don't know much about integration, but that sounds really cool, whatever it is.

Thanks Kendyll! It is utterly wonderful - I hope it lasts. =)

though I must admit I wonder why it doesn't feel weird - before this I was very much against integration. I felt I didn't want to lose any of my parts.

But in reality Cassandra isn't gone and I am not gone. We are both there, but blended together. The closest I get to weird is feeling a bit funny. We're both getting used to it, too. She has to learn so many of my ways and I have to learn hers.