alters.... sharing new memory..triggering

After all these years... any alter finally shared... a "new" memory.. but not "new"... we knew it was there all along.. does that make any sense..it has always been there.. waiting until... it could be safe enough to share...

My father and my uncle were alot alike... I couldn't stand to be near my uncle.. just hated to go over there ever.. and thank goodness didn't have to...very much...
So Thanksgiving came up... I was 8 years old.. and got terrible chicken pox.. just terrible.. being a red head... and so could not go to the Thanksgiving meal at my maternal grandparents... and I begged my mom to stay home with me..

Instead, I was dropped at my uncles.. I begged to wear my party dress... so my Mom let me..

I am so stupid.. so very stupid.. I should have worn pants..

My uncle... fondled me... yes.. what I already knew.. to sit on his lap met that it excited him...

And so... a very sad little girl... that day... when my parents picked me up... my sister.. laughed.. because she also knew "what" my uncle was like...

So... I am also a stupid, stupid little girl... if I had just worn pants... instead.. I had to wear that party dress..

It was the last time.. I ever wanted to wear a dress.. as a little girl.. ever...

I feel such hate towards my T... I keep trying to tell "me".. that it was my uncle.. but it just doesn't feel like it..

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Dear (((((((( freewill )))))))))))

Different parts do remember different things as time goes on this is part of healing.

Could I very kindly say that your post may have been better in the survivors of abuse forum as you are talking about abuse. I understand that you are DID but it would have been more thoughtful of you to post it there.

I wish you the best.

((((((((( freewill )))))))))))

I'm sorry that happened. No part of you was at fault in any way...

I do understand the "new" but not "new". I tried to explain that so often in therapy... It was a new memory but it was already known. The only thing I can think that happened was that parts of me were just seeing it for the first time...it was new for them...

I understand...

KD

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Freewill)))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry. Some choose different times to come out and maybe it is just now that she feels safe enough. It is not your fault, I wish you and she could see that. Please try to be kind to her as she is hurting so much. I am glad she is now reaching out. I am sorry if your T just doesn't seem to "get it" right now.


BB

I am sorry... I am struggling with all my alters..

I will try not to post my pain... anywhere... as I know it is difficult for any one else to read.. or hear..

my sorries... and the best.. to all..

please do not missunderstand , I don't think anyone is saying don't post it's just when posting about abuse many ppl here are triggered, posting in abuse forum ppl there maybe able to help more, you are cared about

(((((((((((( Freewill )))))))))))))

You are FINE to post here. Trigger icons are for a reason and it was used with your post.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much, but please keep sharing. We understand and care.

KD

Please keep posting freewill anywhere you like. Don't listen to the ppl that are too picky. The abuse is the reason you are DID. Anyone that uses this forum should know that.

I relate to your posts so much. I don't do a lot of posting because it's so hard for me to put it into words. You say it all so well.

Keep posting. You are helping millions.

{{{freewill}}}

Don't worry about the posting. You used a trigger warning and that is why it is there. If people are easily triggered or are afraid to be triggered, then they need to stay away from the one's that have warnings on it. That is the reason that they are here. Keep posting and please don't go anywhere.

{{{{{{{{{{freewill}}}}}}}}}}}

don't worry about sharing, ppl only go past trigger icons when they feel strong enough to help

keep posting, it has helped us heaps