How do you know that you are the main you and not an alter? I mean, you can just be an alter interested in online self help as your others do other things?

It seems everyone in my mind is their own persona tied together by co-consciousness. Each one thinks that they are the one.

Each one gets their moment to shine...so how do you decide who the main is?

We fight a lot, so it’s like we can’t agree to pick a game plan.

Don’t get me wrong, we work well together like for the past 50....but when it comes to whose life it’s actually is, we can’t agree. Same with you or how?

[Amyjay]

I think everyone is an alter. I don't understand how there can be a "main". I know I am not "the person" that was born. None of us identify as that. Every single one of us can only do the part of life that we do.
What is the definition of a "main"? The one who is out the most? That would be me, but I never experienced being in the childhood home as "myself" so how could I possibly be the main? I have only been out the most for a few years at best, and others in here would probably argue with that statement anyway.
I just don't know how any one of an "us" could consider themselves to be the main. That isn't how my system seems to work anyway.

[Solnutty]

I’m obviously the main if you simply count time out and the amount of life-responsibilities I handle. The others weren’t liking how I tend to “boss them around” and someone suggested to me that I’m just a part like them, and I wasn’t always in charge. The realization began to creep in...I knew it was true, but I didn’t want to believe it. I’ve been “in charge” for a long time,since about middle elementary school, and then I was only in charge of school work. Up through high school there were others who did social stuff. I became in charge of work, and then just about everything else. (I had no real knowledge of being in a system then). when people of them suggested I wasn’t the “first one” I instantly knew who was.

Are these online posts or accounts a group effort or just of one alter that maybe the others don’t know of? I guess in our case we have some that oppose this, hates this, don’t have the wants to type on here, ignores this, accuses us of trying to put on an act,....

Are these helpful, for the system as a whole?

I don’t know why we are here, it’s not like therapy or anything...maybe just to inner open our cray cray? To get easier to talk to a therapist, open up to a person on the outside, exposing our very raw nerve to the public to see. I’ve been more open these past few years to those around me except I wish we never revealed it at work. The guys hate it.

These posts then would be so one sided.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I must be too triggery. :/

[toomanycats]

I don't, and I get really wound up in it.

I'm not even sure who I am apart from them.

I feel like an amorphous blob that is only ever defined when another part pops up front to take control/blend with me.

[dlantern]

Everyone is those that are co con for a job/skill so when not vulnerable just relating if I decide to share to out then it is several are the main. If I need to keep anonymity in a singleton world then I do so it is the legal name.

www.traumadissocation.com continual co con should give you all clarity

Originally Posted by toomanycats

I don't, and I get really wound up in it.

I'm not even sure who I am apart from them.

I feel like an amorphous blob that is only ever defined when another part pops up front to take control/blend with me.

I see myself that way, too. Sometimes I can sense more than just me controlling this body, body movements and gestures that aren’t mind simply by walking across the room- flashes of the feeling of others that pop in mind as a feeling is recognized.

Even sitting here I don’t know who I am. This body feels like a can that I am in. :/

[dlantern]

Trigger Warning.....

For florids this should be somewhat easy, who clicks who uses the verbiage of this psych central what show are you watching before this post there should be several television folks talking those alters are the ones in on the experience. 10:45pm phone call text whatever you have on television use that introject (s), the website whomever is a friend to one of the users here if you haven't split from identity yet from this site. If that has stopped then that is great, but if not that is okay too...I'm sure you listen to him/her they will pick a few words that you type a few random word from movie/ lyrics is good enough just quote them. When they get information on what is happening tell them I called you forth to share to someone know on here has to know. I'm sure you current therapist has said something too ....Then you are several writing from their vantage point.....Put it on the map and the journal for next session

[L.P.]

The best I got is, for us the main is the one who does the most day to day life stuff in any given span of time. For the last few months I had been flying solo, so to speak (until the last few days anyway) so had you ased me three wees ago who the main was I would have said me, just because it was me mostly living life. A year ago I might have said Veda, four years ago I might have said Charlotte. Somewhere between those years I would have said; Aporia, Gwen, and NiKKi. That stuff changes for me, us, whatever. We go in cycles, but even then there are more than one of us living life, just one person does the most 'adulting' so they get dubbed the main because of that.. even when they do not feel like the main one. I mean, it's hard to feel like the main one when you are ten people in any given day. You know it's not just your life...

We never did/have figured out who this life belongs to. The best we got is to try to do best and follow some basic rules, and hope whoever shows up next will not hate this life, regret our choices, or make things worse for whoever comes next. Me? I just try real hard to not resent choices I have no recollection of making that I find myself forced to live. None of us feel this is our reality, yet somehow we are forced to live it every single day because clearly it is our life, my life. Makes my brain hurt...

Sorry... not trying to be complaining... just in a not so great place today. Ima shaddup now...

-Avery

[toomanycats]

We have "a me part." That's the part that's almost always co-conscious.
But that part has a lot of trouble with recognizing who she is without the rest of the parts. She worries a lot that nobody loves HER they just love the other parts. She worries she lacks an identity of her own, and yet she's the one always co-conscious. It's hard.

But, "me" is a part too, and I like to think even though we're different, we all share the same people and the same life. If someone loves me (10), then that person loves "me" as well. If someone is my (10) friend, then that person is "me"'s friend too. And, most important, just because the mom part comes out a lot with E (daughter), doesn't mean E isn't "me"'s daughter. E is definitely the me part's daughter. And E definitely definitely loves the me part.

If anything, E feels less like OUR daughter (10, 13, the 6s) mostly because that'd be weird lol. I can't be a mom! But I don't try to be! I don't need to be.

And all of us interact online. Sometimes fluidly like we're one, and that's fine. Sometimes separately now, and that's new and it was scary, but it's getting easier.

Edit to add:
lol I see "me" was on here responding earlier and I didn't even know!! See though? Me isn't an amorphous blob, though, so "me" if you come back and read this, really...you are you! (That is truer than true...there is nobody else that is youer than you!) lololol

[dlantern]

To piggyback off of L.p and no it is not a deal breaker to be some what judged. When I first started thought the same thing how daunting will this be. Basically you just say florids are the ones that can say, might be ten in a day. If you learn to call on demand you might can say that also. Basically once you calm then down from wanting their difference of how they got here acknowledged then you say we cooperate in ten in a day, on a really really good day. Some folks think it is too hard to understand really isn't.

[dlantern]

Since this post, should be a few more triggered out if what the team is doing is a great question, then you can share a few moments. Unless you been a sleep for a few days, of course it has to be your style online. Usually is for in person session and journal but crap happens during transitions. Yea like compound words you can also assign them help them learn remember. Show them the this is the environment therapist might have already gave you and assignment to share about ur home life between session etc . Anyway, pm if you want more details .

[dlantern]

More tips

To florids, I'm a great resource discontinuity yes means anyone working out keeping them open learning co con definitely involves that. There has to be something to discuss in therapy we know the system has plenty to argue on and debate. We do film school we argue logic we argue and discuss anything we want on topics to keep ourselves socializing and functioning. We discuss several things like those that want to know about conspiracy for example of course it usually coupled with memories introject a way of being. Be leary of introjects that want you functioning the chopped and screwed way those well versed know that anything too slowed down is inpatient concern like a zombie will not be tolerated something to expose and think about.

If most system go the piece by piece way they usually do that it is what folks are doing also. There should be plenty of problems with math and numbers when u get to more of the littles . We are sensitive system though. So make sure you find your team of alters you going to need them to remind warn and switch up for the benefits. The atmosphere is everything you can do a combination of both call for them and allow the environment to do so . If you keep it worked out reinforced strengthening and not backed up to itself then you not be that bad off on certain things. It just takes a little practice to understand some of perceptions...

[CaptainSensible]

Originally Posted by toomanycats

I don't, and I get really wound up in it.

I'm not even sure who I am apart from them.

I feel like an amorphous blob that is only ever defined when another part pops up front to take control/blend with me.

I always feel like I'm lying when I try to define who I am.

Like today I think 'co-consciousness' is big for me, but I see that as an improvement! I think it's worse when I just have one, one-dimentional aspect in complete dominance.

Right now it's as if there's a 'car' which is my body, and someone more or less in the driving seat who doesn't actually know how to drive (but that changes a bit), and the rest of the car full of emotional blobs yelling contradictory instructions and hitting.

Now and again one lunges forward and grabs the wheel and freaks us all out. Or drags the driver out of the driving seat with a choke hold and takes over, not listening to anyone else.

But that's just today. Tomorrow I'll probably read this and think it's all nonsense.

[dlantern]

For us lying goes into having to out yourself it isn't usually needed and being psychic on what folks might think. Don't be gun shy if you have to explain it then make sure you do so with mastery. I'd just say compare it to programming and computer if one side of the mind talk and cooperating with the other then all so go okay. Check you social circle most of understand when we are far along in the journey most are, then you will understand that as well, it isn't about pills.

[dlantern]

For us lying goes into having to out yourself it isn't usually needed and being psychic on what folks might think. Don't be gun shy if you have to explain it then make sure you do so with mastery. I'd just say compare it to programming and computer if one side of the mind talk and cooperating with the other then all so go okay. Check you social circle most of understand when we are far along in the journey most are, then you will understand that as well, it isn't about pills.

Originally Posted by CaptainSensible

I always feel like I'm lying when I try to define who I am.

Like today I think 'co-consciousness' is big for me, but I see that as an improvement! I think it's worse when I just have one, one-dimentional aspect in complete dominance.

Right now it's as if there's a 'car' which is my body, and someone more or less in the driving seat who doesn't actually know how to drive (but that changes a bit), and the rest of the car full of emotional blobs yelling contradictory instructions and hitting.

Now and again one lunges forward and grabs the wheel and freaks us all out. Or drags the driver out of the driving seat with a choke hold and takes over, not listening to anyone else.

But that's just today. Tomorrow I'll probably read this and think it's all nonsense.

I go through this every freaking moment. I delete more posts then ever published.