Tips on disclosure

I am going to be travelling this coming week and visiting my sister and my daughter and her family.

Problem is I have not already disclosed to them my diagnosis of OSDD-1 and because of my "fragile" state of parts coming out so often, I am fearful my child parts--especially Sandi--will come out and they will think I am weird.

I need to tell my daughter because I already told my other daughter and she may accidentally let it slip. (She knows about Billy.) Also I am going to be babysitting my granddaughter in October and I am fearful my daughter may lose confidence in my ability to do so. But if I don't tell her and she finds out another way, our relationship could be damaged.

I will be talking to T tomorrow about it, but I wondered if any of you had any tips?

I didn't tell anyone when I got diagnosed with DID except my husband.I didn't feel the need to because I had been that way since I was very young so the only difference was getting the diagnosis.I was still the same quirky and wierd person I always was and everyone was used to.They didn't suddenly notice anything different about me after I found out.I do understand your concerns though because it made me real self conscious and I was always worried someone might say something or think I was really strange or something and it was constantly on my mind after I was diagnosed.Nobody else knew though and it will probably be the same for you.

Did you babysit before your diagnosis?If you did then remind your daughter of that,it shouldn't be any different now.You can remind her this isn't something new for you, you've been this way for a long time and the only difference now is a name for what you experience.

It seems like the whole world will know once you get a diagnosis but for me they didn't.When I becane fully integrated was when a few peoplre made comments on there being something different about me but wasn't sure what it was.One said I didnt seem so nervous and afraid all the time.I never told anyone about integration either.There was no reason to.

Good luck with this.

Yes, I did babysit before. This daughter is very logical, so this seems like apt tip! Thank you so much.

When I told the other daughter, I assured her I was still able to babysit her children, she said I raised her, so everything should be fine.

I am hoping it goes the same way with my oldest.

I wish my blabbermouth part would zip her lips!

I think you were brave for disclosing and I hope it all goes good for you.I also hope you have a relaxing and stress free visit with your sister and your daughter.

I agree that it helps to remember that I am still the same person and people already either like/trust/love/appreciate me as I am or not.


I also keep it simple when I tell people. "Sometimes I sort of space out when something reminds me of my childhood". Then I answer questions. Or I explain that dissociation is what happens when a person goes to another part of the house to get something and then can't remember what they were going to get. I just do it more frequently and for longer periods of time.


Hope you trip goes well!

I don’t know how your system operates....but if no one knows....we work covertly....in secret. The only time we are flagrantly is if present company knows about the DID...so we don’t advertise our condition...I keep them wondering...lol.

I'm curious,what did your T say about it?

I'm confused, are you different somehow post-diagnosis?

He basically said to keep it simple.
We spent most of the time talking about my system and lost track of time. I need to trust our relationship. I am scared though, I must admit.

I had become destabilized before and since diagnosis. For so many years my system worked in the dark, and now the switching is more chaotic and blatant. Like Billy one of my parts said, "The gig is up now!" So yes, it is different. And yet not. What was in the darkness, is now in the light. And now I really need to learn containment, but two of my parts took over the appointment. If you want to know more please pm me.

I find that stress and worry are big triggers for us. We try to keep the masses at bay, calm, and unprovoked....then everything is pleasant. It has taken us a great deal of time to trust each other to do the right thing for our system the best that we could- not that it always works out that way...

When we took it that we are all in this together...we realized that our actions have consequences....of course we do have parts that go rogue, but they at times don’t know about us or just want to get away.

Are we in therapy to get this way? No, just whooped hard so much that we just want to live till we expire peacefully.... just biding our time. Just have to keep everyone calm, no surprises.

Have you all tried meditation techniques? We practice sedation here through nightly drinking.... to pass time along the way. I do hope that it’s going well with you.

Will you be allowed to contact your T while on your trip if you need to?Having someone to talk to when things get chaotic can be really helpful.I don't know anything about OSDD or what anyone with it experiences but with DID,when I had to go out of town like that I could email or call my T when I was feeling overwhelmed and having that person there made me feel more confident and safe which in return kept my system calmer.

You can also keep in touch on here.i

My experience was similar: I felt a lot worse after diagnosis. And I got worse. Now I do pretty well with the switching stuff, though.

I hope things go well on your vacation.

I didn't discuss it with my T, but I believe he is okay with me calling if necessary.

So far everything is going well at my sister's. She and I usually trigger each other but it's going pretty smoothly so far.

My destructive parts have been nagging me, but only a little more than usual, but it is a bummer.

I will be taking my daughter out to dinner on Wednesday night so I can talk to her without interruptions from my granddaughter and son-in-law. I will let you all know how it goes and if I decide to disclose to my sister. She is one year younger and has been through much the same trauma as myself, but I will not describe it now so as not to trigger anyone.

Thank you all for your concern. It helps so much to know there are others who understand.

Tonight is the night I disclose to my daughter. My parts are pretty calm right now, with my most peaceful parts (Doe, Zoe and "25") pretty close to the surface. Right now I'm thinking my daughter is probably not going to react much at all, say maybe: "Okay." Something like that.

I did disclose to my sister and she wasn't surprised. She was very supportive. We talked about our past trauma (not giving details so as not to trigger anyone). She also dissociated at the time the events occurred, but does not have a dissociative disorder. She did mention several things that occurred in our shared history that I had absolutely no memory of, but they do explain one of my phobias (cleithrophobia=the fear of being trapped).

Anyhow, on the way here--I drove up here 500+ miles--just me and my team! Some stressful things happened which I will not mention because they may trigger me or others, but little Billy was freaking out. I pinched the webbing between my right thumb and pointer (which works as emergency grounding), so he did not seize executive control and we talked to him, comforted him. Finally, I think he took a nap, because I didn't feel him anymore, but we were still nervous till we got here.

I think I'm going to start dinner out with a nice strong drink and I hope my daughter does the same. I will let you know soon how it turns out!

How did it go?

It went well. My daughter listened and was empathic.

When I first mentioned little Billy in the closet (in my mind), she reacted with what had to be a cognitive brain cramp. She let me talk and I went on too much which made my little parts, esp. little Billy panic once we were back in the guest room.

The night before I left, we talked again. She asked some questions and was once again supportive and empathic. She has not shown any concerns about my watching my granddaughter. So all is well on that front.

My parts are still bobbing up in my mind--kind of like fish jumping out of the water! Like a kaliedoscope. Like a roulette wheel. I will be talking to T about containment on Friday. I need techniques better than the hand pinch. We have had too much pain. But at least it contains switching when it would be dangerous, physically (as in driving--although driving itself seems to serve as grounding all by itself) and relationally, as in not wanting Sandi or little Billy to seize executive control in social situations.

Thank you so much for your concern! It has helped me so much to know you guys were here if I needed you!

By some strange coincidence (I have ideas about this, but this is not the place to discuss them), we watched three things together that helped provide referrents for our second discussion.

One was an old episode of Star Trek Voyager where a bi-special character was split into two people, each a purified version of the two species. At first the two versions were at odds with one another but in the end they realized they needed each other.

The second thing we watched was a movie called Inside Out. My daughter and son-in-law wanted my granddaughter to watch it because she has been having issues with her emotional regulation (she is three). The movie presented emotions as characters who had alternating control of the person.

The third was the movie Split. (I will not discuss what I thought of the movie here.)

So I was able to refer to these in our conversation and they helped my daughter understand things better!

All in all, I am glad I have disclosed to the people I have chosen to. Scout assessed that the risks of not doing so were at least as bad as doing so. It has helped so far. But I will not be disclosing to people willy-nilly.

I have a sibling that enjoys star trek voyager.. are you talking about Tuvix (the characters Nelix and Tuvok were on this planet collecting orchids. when they were beamed back to the voyager space ship their bodies and the orchids got demolecularized in the machine then combined together to form one whole person who picked the name Tuvix, then later in the episode the doctor found a way to separate one of their molecules that make up one of the characters, turning them back into Tuvok and Nelix?

if so I am so, so glad that your relative took it so well, if it was mine and I said its like what you see on this tv show, they would have thought I was in the midst of a bipolar psychosis episode. (why because they would see it
as my equating .....me.... to something that is not real is in my culture and family called delusions)

again so, so glad it worked out for you.

It was actually B'Elanna Torres who was half Klingon, half human.

I see. the episode where the vidians placed her through a chemical process where they removed her klingon DNA, tissues, organs and such from her human DNA, Tissues, Organs so that physically she was divided into two people a human person and a klongon person.

I never looked at her as a person with multiple personalities when my sibling and I were watching his DVD's. I just thought of her like anyone else who has their mothers DNA and fathers DNA and are able to show many different emotions...

example I am one whole person that contains the DNA structures that come from both my mother and father. I can be happy, sad, angry, even been known to get into a physical fight or two.

when you really think about it in the klongon/ human hybrid scheme of things. i think we all are more than one type of molecule and such that make up who and what we are... one high school activity we did at our school was to make a family tree of how our relatives are connected. I am not only my own person but I have the molecules/DNA of my parents, my grandparents on both sides, my great grand parents on both sides, great great great..... well you get the point...

in the grand scheme of things if (and just a wild sci fi thought here) if what the vidians was possible my alters would not have showed as different people like B'Elana. sure i would break down into different physical people more than two actually, but that wouldnt equal the same as my alters.

just trying to wrap my head around this idea of b'elana equaling my alters and what it may look like... my sibling would probably still think I was having psychosis if I used that....

but you know it is an interesting, very interesting thought and comparison,

How funny...reading the last few posts was like where did this thread go? Had to start at the top seeing that I had thoughts here.

I was just thinking...

Hour later....

Now I remember....I feel more comfortable saying multiple personalities over DID which gets a bad rap in horror flicks and t.v. ....a lot easier to express.

I’d much rather say that I have a mental condition that divides my thinking memory into parts.