[TrailRunner14]

How do you do that?

How do you ask another part of you to come forward without them taking the steering wheel away from you?

I guess that would be asking that part to be co-conscious with you?

There are times that a part comes forward, without me asking as a response to a trigger, and I’m put in the passenger seat.

I would like to ask for help from parts of me that can handle things better than me and still be up front.

I may be talking in circles. I hope that makes sense.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

How do you do that?

How do you ask another part of you to come forward without them taking the steering wheel away from you?

I guess that would be asking that part to be co-conscious with you?

There are times that a part comes forward, without me asking as a response to a trigger, and I’m put in the passenger seat.

I would like to ask for help from parts of me that can handle things better than me and still be up front.

I may be talking in circles. I hope that makes sense.

yes you make sense....

most people with out years of therapy and learning about their triggers and learning how to not dissociate cant do what you are asking. then again if they have the tools to not dissociate to where alters take control then they dont need their alters help its a catch 22 around here where I am.

I also feel I need to say something in regards to parts that may not be co conscious with you. (sometimes people who are DID dont always know all their parts (alters) but know some. I was this way with limited co consciousness.....)

in the event that you may have alters who you are not conscious with....first you might want to check with your local county and state ethics board if you want to do this with your therapist. its now a violation for treatment providers to do this.. put simply treatment for DID is now focus on learning things that prevent a person from dissociating to the extreme of switching into alters, not on purposely calling out alters, which can create many problems some of which are false memories, false alters, can cause a person to become suicidal or self injury and even death if they learn something that has been dissociated and they are not ready emotionally or physically ready and dont have the stabilizing tools to keep their self stable before, during and after.

if you plan on doing this on your own, one of the most important things is talk with your treatment providers. doing this and a different alter coming up can lead to a lot of complications, problems and quite frankly can be dangerous.

before you do something like this maybe re read your past posts and decide whether you are mentally and physically stable and have all the grounding tools, safety tools, good support network.... like I said accessing alters can result in alters you are not co conscious with which can be a very dangerous area of things.

if you are accessing co conscious parts (alters that you already know about, and can talk to, and can hear them share back and forth with each other) theres not much for you to do. you have already been doing what you are asking about, ( thats what co consciousness is) for how ever long you have already been co conscious with them for. its no big deal or activity you just do what you have always done, talk to them in how ever way you have already been doing, write to them in how ever ways you have already been doing or what ever ways you and your system does things.... your past posts here will give you an idea of how you have already been doing this for what ever amounts of time you have been co conscious with them.

but please be aware trying to purposely make an alter come out/ take control can harm you.

now that said Im going to show you something.....

Rainy was my alter that took control during thunder storms. in order for Rainy to come forwards/ take control I had to be out in a thunder storm, in other words exposed to what triggered me.

now if I tried to do what you are thinking of doing that would mean I would have to wait for a thunder storm. then go out into it. exposing myself to my trigger would cause me to have my dissociation symptoms (feeling numb spaced out disconnected, and others) which would in turn cause rainy to come forth and take control and handle that trigger... but also have all the tools and so on to hold myself steady, stable and aware.

on one side of the coin since in this situaiton if I was able to do this, that meant I had all the tools and so on to prevent having my dissociation problems and able to handle thunder storms on my own like breathing, calming myself down then finding a way to get home safe and dry. because I have all the tools to hold steady, stable and aware to do this then I have all that I need to do whats needed on my own with out rainy's help.

on the other side of the coin...

I dont know about you but I dont like feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected and my other dissociative symptoms. most people with severe dissociation problems dont like how they feel, thats why they are in therapy right to stop feeling this way..

my point I personally do not see any reason to make myself have my dissociation problems just so that Rainy would take control. if I did that my therapist would actually change my diagnosis to fictitious disorder imposed on self meaning I can control my problems to the point of causing myself to have the problems. it would actually go against my own treatment plans to purposely cause myself to dissociate (have my dissociation symptoms in order to call rainy forwards to help me during a thunderstorm.)

I rather prefer learning how to handle my triggers with out relying on dissociation to fix my problems.

mind you this is only what I would do.

you must make up your own mind whether you want to purposely cause yourself to have your dissociation problems so that you reach the point of dissociation with this alter, (assuming since you are asking about this that your co consciousness is limited with this alter ) and have all the tools you need to not dissociate to the point of losing control or using those tools to handle the problems on your own without causing yourself to dissociate to this extreme.

[TrailRunner14]

Thank you!

Thank you for sharing your experience of Rainy with me.

It’s not that I want to dissociate to handle what I’m trying to find strength for. That was my question of how to be “us” in a situation without giving over the wheel, so to speak.

As I have found my other parts, I have cherished the purpose of their strengths. I have learned to acknowledge and value the reason that they were created.

My parts came to be because I could not “be” in that moment. They are strengths that I could not find in that time or place.

That’s what I want to be co-conscious with. Their strengths and their - compassion.

Yeah.

Their compassion.

My compassion for them and their strength for me.

I want to find a way to connect with that in a way that we can do it together.

I guess it would be respect of a trust that they are safe in the place that we are both working together.

I don’t know! I can’t find the words to explain what I’m trying to ask.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Thank you!

Thank you for sharing your experience of Rainy with me.

It’s not that I want to dissociate to handle what I’m trying to find strength for. That was my question of how to be “us” in a situation without giving over the wheel, so to speak.

As I have found my other parts, I have cherished the purpose of their strengths. I have learned to acknowledge and value the reason that they were created.

My parts came to be because I could not “be” in that moment. They are strengths that I could not find in that time or place.

That’s what I want to be co-conscious with. Their strengths and their - compassion.

Yeah.

Their compassion.

My compassion for them and their strength for me.

I want to find a way to connect with that in a way that we can do it together.

I guess it would be respect of a trust that they are safe in the place that we are both working together.

I don’t know! I can’t find the words to explain what I’m trying to ask.

now that I have gotten some sleep I see what you are asking about....

you want to be like some posters here that are "co hosting" ? where both involved are equal partners working together as a team?

most that I know, already have this built into their system of alters out of their necessity for survival, they just have alters that do that.

those that I know who did not have this kind of system were either not able to do this or it came with their integration process.

with me I was not able to "co host", it was not part of my system of alters. my dissociation was trigger related and the personality that took control was the one that handled that trigger.

but during my natural integration process there was a point where only one of my alters (Thelma) was there at the same time I was but it was a very brief moment during intimacy immediately before I realized she and I were now one. my wife and I were getting busy so to speak and my wife asked for something that I was previously unable to do, in that moment I just knew thelma was telling me what to do and then I just knew she and I were one whole person again, my wife asked me what happened and I told her and called my therapist because I was confused, why would one tell me what to do and then blend together with me so that I had all that she had and was. my therapist explained that this happens sometimes with natural integration, the alter knew I was capable of handling everything that she was and did for me so we just became one.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

How do you do that?

How do you ask another part of you to come forward without them taking the steering wheel away from you?

I guess that would be asking that part to be co-conscious with you?

There are times that a part comes forward, without me asking as a response to a trigger, and I’m put in the passenger seat.

I would like to ask for help from parts of me that can handle things better than me and still be up front.

I may be talking in circles. I hope that makes sense.

Ask. Learn to listen for their voice I guess. I did it by automatic handwriting technique, it was painstakingly slow at first when I was 13, after awhile though, it got faster till I realized or made a connection that I was hearing the word being written after it was written....then I said hello and Suzy said hi back. OMG!

It was a matter of separating my thoughts from their thoughts which were my thoughts but weren’t. I also begun noticing that they had different, timbre, pitch, tone, and a manner of speaking. I often describe it as a form of telepathy....communicating with a voice in normal conversation...mostly as acquaintances. Since then, blah blah blah is all I inner hear. Our thoughts over ride each other thoughts like people trying to over talk each other at all hours of the day. Even when we are asleep parts that are awake going blah blah often waking me up.

We aren’t exactly close, more like separate people with a common cause, this life. I’m sure we got some empathic parts in here, but they tend to get their feelings hurt easily and refuse to front up. Quite a few of them came out here 3 years ago, but they quit presenting due to inner persecutors, mean people, embarrassment...like an exposed nerve they ran and hid.

This is why I usually compare my system to a captain and crew... it takes all of us to survive a day in life.

It’s interesting to note what Amanda said about different kinds of system....for even on these forums we still feel different...not quite as clinically correct, for we don’t have the classic DID symptoms made famous, I guess....just a hodgepodge of goobely gook, lol...so I don’t know if you are able to achieve all this....it’s just natural for us.

I don’t know, I wish I had the peace and quiet of a non-co-hosting, non-co-conscious mind....I think.

[Amyjay]

I think we discussed a bit of us doing this in PM with you... we are finding it very helpful to develop communication with those parts in non-triggered times. We work on inviting internal conversation when we are feeling calm and peaceful. Our T talks "through" to some parts, not inviting them out but inviting them to listen.
I don't have much time to elaborate right now but we are finding the key thing for us seems to be inviting connection conversation curiosity and collaboration with different parts when we are not triggered. Once connections have been established we seem to be able to cope and manage much better when unexpected triggers occur (once we have developed a connection with those parts that deal with that specific situation or trigger).
We do this slowly, in therapy and at home, and just work with one part at a time.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

How do you do that?

How do you ask another part of you to come forward without them taking the steering wheel away from you?

I guess that would be asking that part to be co-conscious with you?

There are times that a part comes forward, without me asking as a response to a trigger, and I’m put in the passenger seat.

I would like to ask for help from parts of me that can handle things better than me and still be up front.

I may be talking in circles. I hope that makes sense.

I don't.

but good luck.

(((((hugs))))))

[dlantern]

I'd try everything that you have been trying. For me, I'd make sure that when you can't avoid the trigger just try to make sense of disruptions and make it a continuity and teach it how to be what they are in whatever scenario you need them for. Also, make sure they are walking around you there has to be some seeing in the inner world and outer world, it helps the others too....

Implementing 4 Types of Memory in your Classroom – TEACH Magazine "Implementing 4 types of memory in your classroom"

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for this thread

(((((((( hugs ))))))))