[Rive1976]

So I was a sensitive child I would cry about everything. If my friend fell at school and scraped their knee I would cry. If I heard about someone getting hurt on the news I would cry. I noticed in my early 20s I started finding bad things humorous. For instance hearing about a homicide on the news a small evil smile would come accross my face. When talking to my mom ( because she is negative she talks about negative things) she may be talking about a fire and all the horrible details and I have to concentrate on not smiling the whole time. I am still like that to this day. Then I feel like a psychopath for thinking these things are funny. It was like a flip was switched in me. Its only with bad things. Any one experience this? If not do you have an idea of what may be going on?

[Amyjay]

I don't experience that. Why do you think you smile when you hear or see things like that? What do you feel?

It may be due to psychological trauma or it may be due to a defective gene. I too would cry when seeing an animal being slaughtered for food. Years later (when I was around ten) I would smile when something bad would happen... but now that I am on meds I don't feel much.

I don't think it has anything to do with dissociation.

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by Dnester

So I was a sensitive child I would cry about everything. If my friend fell at school and scraped their knee I would cry. If I heard about someone getting hurt on the news I would cry. I noticed in my early 20s I started finding bad things humorous. For instance hearing about a homicide on the news a small evil smile would come accross my face. When talking to my mom ( because she is negative she talks about negative things) she may be talking about a fire and all the horrible details and I have to concentrate on not smiling the whole time. I am still like that to this day. Then I feel like a psychopath for thinking these things are funny. It was like a flip was switched in me. Its only with bad things. Any one experience this? If not do you have an idea of what may be going on?

Does laughing when telling my My mother that the daughter of one of her friends committed suicide count? Yeah. I used to laugh when I had to tell anyone something like that. No idea why. It wasn't funny, but I couldn't suppress the laughter. That doesn't happen anymore, though I can't tell you when it stopped. Haven't had it happen for years now. I suppose it could be a self conscious response to hearing of seeing something awful that you have thought of doing yourself. You can feel self conscious even when telling yourself something.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I don't experience that. Why do you think you smile when you hear or see things like that? What do you feel?

I feel happy then guilty for being sadistic.

[Ohseedee]

Some people, when they are uncomfortable talking about something serious, will smile or laugh nervously. I don't think it's necessarily out of being genuinely happy about it, but rather feeling uncomfortable. I've done it before, with nervous laughter while talking about something serious.

Because you are posting this concern on a mental health forum, I highly doubt you are a psychopath. It sounds more like an automatic reaction to me.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dnester I have already replied to your other thread on this subject. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice on this thread. I'd suggest to try to follow it if you can. Like Osheedee has already wisely said, you're not a psychopath. If you would, you wouldn't come here asking for help. I'd say it's just a reaction you have. Perhaps it's an auotmatic reaction that you have to cope with stressful or tragic situations. You're definitely not alone in this, as this thread has already shown. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you're concerned, I'd suggest to talk to your therapist about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully she will be able to help you. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. Perhaps you could discover where this reactions is coming from. Remember that you're not a bad person. It's just a reaction you have. We can't always control our reactions to things. That doesn't make you a bad person. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Originally Posted by Dnester

I feel happy then guilty for being sadistic.

You are not sadistic, it may be the body's response to trauma. One thing for sure is that you're not sadistic.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

You are not sadistic, it may be the body's response to trauma. One thing for sure is that you're not sadistic.

How do you know that for sure? I wouldnt care about it accept I genuinely feel some kind of joy out of it. Then I have the guilty feeling afterwards though. So idk.

[BP1beauty]

I seriously thought I was the only one that ever felt this ...... I'm still learning about DID to be honest. I've been in denial for awhile.

I hope your'e having a good day , sending you healing thoughts.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by BP1beauty

I seriously thought I was the only one that ever felt this ...... I'm still learning about DID to be honest. I've been in denial for awhile.

I hope your'e having a good day , sending you healing thoughts.

You smile at bad things too? I am so confused as to what I have anymore. I know for sure OCD and PTSD. I just want to know so I dont waste time in therapy on OSDD if I am not that.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I don't think it has anything to do with dissociation.

I agree,I don't think it does either.

It's no different really than when people laugh at funerals or any other odd/different reaction,sometimes it just happens.

Originally Posted by Dnester

How do you know that for sure? I wouldnt care about it accept I genuinely feel some kind of joy out of it. Then I have the guilty feeling afterwards though. So idk.

You feel guilty, a sadist would never feel that.

I personally gave up self-analyzing and accepted the fact that I am what I am and I do what I do meaning it or not. No surprises no more because they will always happen. It helps.

I've got one point to add, unless you dissociate and think of something good (like whatever that happened in your life or people you love) I don't think it's a dissociative disorder. Welp, I wish you luck regardless!

to this day, I still find it really embarrassing that I laughed at a friend's funeral
in reality, it was really sad. she was young, she was still at school and she had a lot of life ahead of her

but when I was sitting their listening to the music, something just clicked and I giggled

I'm not insensitive, actually I'm the most sensitive person their is

Possible trigger:

you may remember the story about the chillian miners getting trapped underground.

well, that really affected me. I couldn't stop crying at the fact they were trapped

I don't know though, as i've got older I guess I've just found funny sides to things and now even though I don't want to be involved in accidents and stuff, they facinate me and I don't wonder oh poor person for getting involved, it's more well.. I wonder if it will happen again?

it's almost if I want it to

but I don't at the same time

it's so hard to explain what I mean. my inner brain and my outer brain send diffrent signals

my maturity level seems to be in reverse

it seems I was a lot more mature in younger years

and now I laugh when someone burps

what's funny about that?