I feel guilty...

So I have been formally diagnosed with DID, and yeah it fits very well but...I just feel guilty about it. I've been disociating since I was little but there isn't any abuse from back then that I or anyone close to me knows so, so I'm gonna say that didn't happen. My best guess is the difficulty of going between my mom and dad so much (they're divorced) and never knowing what to expect when I went to my dad's, but that's a stretch to call it trauma. I did however experience sexual abuse as an adult, it went on for about...7 months I think before I got wise enough to break up with him. The thing is I didn't or at least wasn't away of having alters until after that point. It just feels like an issue of faking, or feeling like me feelings and disorder aren't justified because I don't think I had any severe abuse as a child. I mean like I said I've been disociating since I was little, but never brought it up to anyone because I had no idea what was going on or how to explain it. I've always been...Weird so to me that just felt like another quirk, or something related to another disorder (I have way too many to fit in one body). Over all it just leaves me feeling disconected from everyone else with similar diagnosises (spelling?) and just guilty all around. I think I'll stop there to avoid rambling.

Just reading and sending support. In my opinion, you have no need to feel guilty but that feeling also deserves validation and space to be

Not all guilt is rational. Following a series of epileptic discharges as a teen (not sure if it qualified as status epilepticus), I lost all my positive emotions as well as my libido. All I had to work with was a sensation of profound hopelessness, and irrational guilt. I wasn't aware of having done anything to make me feel guilty, but I would have confessed to anything if it promised to relieve me of that guilt sensation. It took some time, but I regained most of my emotions and libido, and the guilt subsided. I came across a book "The Broken Brain" by psychiatrist Nancy Andreason. In it she told the story of a lady with a depressive disorder who experienced irrational guilt. I recognized it as what I had experienced. It seemed real at the time. So did the hopelessness. That was difficult to overcome. It was all pathological.